She was a loner: a creature of the night once enchanted by myths and legends.1
She was passionate: her pack was all that matters, more important than the hollow night, than the hunter's spirit or the vast moon.2
She was a hunter: her instincts of blood, of meat, and the hunts she did once consumed her.3
She was a creature: respecting natural laws and depredation.4
She was lost: humans forgot her meaning as well as the meaning of nature.5
She was a wolf.6
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She ran silently, feeling the snow crushing slowly under her paws, and smelling the sweet pine aroma covering the frozen forest.8
Then she stopped in a sudden, raising her imponent head. She listened with attention, focusing in the world around her, raising her ears and waiting, hearing the wind against the tree-tops and the constant sound of the night's music.9
She yawned showing her white fangs, hunger growing inside her belly made her more alert. She felt a rush of adrenaline covering her head, ready to act, and activating her finest instincts.10
Then, across the snow, she saw it: an weak baby deer trying to walk, but the snow was too thick for him. He was so tiny, his brown fur wasn't enough to protect him from the snow and he was shivering badly, his big and black eyes showing terror in them. A sorrow-full cry came from his mouth, praying for help.11
Her tongue came out of her mouth, tasting the aroma, imagining the blood rushing down her throat.12
She walked with her head down, trying to be as silent as possible, letting a soft but unnoticed snarls escape from her mouth. She tasted the aroma of the fresh meat cover her senses, running across her mind like a delicious desire.13
She was near now, her prey saw her and tried to scape with urgency but without success, fear was covering him as a dark monster eating him slowly. She licked her teeth and growled softly, louder each time she approached more to him.14
She finally reached him, biting his neck and causing an instant death, then, she ran away with her victim, running across the snow, smelling the blood that was leaving a trace behind her. She reached a small cave.15
Five little cubs were waiting for her, they ran and licked their mother's paws with excitement, happy to see her there and waiting for the delicious meal. She gave the deer to them and watched them eat. It seemed she needed to wait to eat herself...16
Author notes
A short wolf story, an ode to this fantastic animals =)
Maybe just a starting idea.
In a list
- Winter Wolf Pack role group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Poems and Stories about Wolves by Violette.
175 points, ended August 18, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Awesome, love it. Great job. Wolves rule!!!!!!!
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Truly a gem from the very first sentence! Filled with dripping detail in every paragraph! Makes me want to write right now! Perhaps a tad grotesque and morbid, but the theatricality and mistique maintained throughout was overwhelmingly good! *****!
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Amazing story - I loved the beginning and the repetition that you used there really helped draw me in to the piece. The descriptions were fantastic - I especially liked the part about the "night's music". And the ending was perfect. While during the story the wolf was portrayed as simply a predator taking advantage of their weaker prey, the final paragraph showed a more tender, human side of the wolf.
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Thank you so much!
I am glad you enjoyed this short work.
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first of all, congrats on the gold...i love pieces about nature, especially if they are told from the POV of an animal...great job with this...keep up the good work! Loved it!!
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Thank you so much for your comment!
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I loved the poetic beginning, it really caught my interest though I love wolves anyway so that wasn't hard! However, there were a few little things that I noticed;
#11 'to bad' should be 'too bad' though I think 'shivering badly' would sound better.
#15 'bitting' should be 'biting'
#16 do you mean 'licked' rather than 'linked'
But otherwise, beautiful written. Well done for winning the contest!
beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, characters: 5.
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Thanks for the Review!
This is useful!
I'll look for the errors and correct them, thanks so much!
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She was awesome
She was talented
She was given a shot at the finalists
Congrats on such an awesome entry and my apologies for the lame attempt to mimic it. The descriptions and emotions you used were flawless so i wish you all the luck in the world
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If you were to continue you could do so many things with this. I loved the intro that you gave. It makes a person think on so many different levels of a wolf. I for one love wolves and have many short stories in notebooks about them. This is truly amazing. The detail was amazing. Just the right amount, not to much, not to little, just enough to make sure the reader knows what is going on but at the same time without overwhelming them too. Great job, keep writing.
~Autumn -
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Thanks!
And yes, I love wolves as well, they're such amazing creatures.
Thanks a lot for your comment! I wish to read some wolf stories you wrote as well! -
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Well my wolf stories have a lot of room to improve in. I keep re-reading them and keep finding errors. My friend tells me nothing is wrong but other people tell me that there could be things to keep it from being less confusing. I have already re-written the prologue once and they say I need to re-write again. *sigh*
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Well that happens all the time! Even this story... I feel it needs more editing xD
But that's what writing is about! With practice you will get better and better! And then you read old writes and you think you write them wrong... and it's a never-ending story! haha -
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You've got that right! Always re-writing because it is never good enough for yourself, that is why you always must keep you own little critic in you head! My friend told me that.
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Yes! That's ture...
You know, like... hmmm 3 years ago I started writing, and now I see my work and it's better than before!
And something important is reading a lot, that helps =) -
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Reading a lot does help, it lets you expand your knowledge about writing, I used to read on non-fiction books, now I barely touch them! I like to keep my imagination unlike what the teachers try to teach you. I don't know how long I have been writing, I have been writing poems longer than stories but I have always had a like for short stories but now I like to write longer ones.
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