Middle School Memories.

'He's really cute...'I said in my mind, as a slight rosey blush covered my cheeks. The boy sat infront of me, just a few desks away. I could see the side of his face as he looked to the side, talking to his friend, Chris. I couldnt help but to stare and stare for endless hours. I always think how lucky I was to have homeroom with him, but, im only in 6th grade. 1

His voice was very deep for a 12 year old, but, I always stopped to listen whenever I heard him speak. We both have the same interests and everything, but I never had the courage to just go over to him and talk about them. He was usually either reading or talking to a friend away from me. 2

Although, one day, he completely broke me down. Im sure you want to know how? It was cruel, and cold hearted for a 'Sweet' boy I thought he was. It was all just a normal, average day, at lunch. Of course, I sat with the girls, but, on occasions, I'd sit with him and the other guys.3

"Hey, Bella?" Christina said, one of my friends. She sat next to me most of the time. "Yeah?" I replied, looking at her with curiousity. "You know Morgan's moving to Michigan in a few weeks, right?" She informed me. I couldnt speak. I was completely torn and heartbroken, but I didnt show it. Just a slight frown covered up my invisible tears. "Uhm.. He didnt tell me that..."I whispered back, not in the happiest of all moods. "Yeah, he wanted me to tell you a few days ago. Im sorry."She said, but there was a suspisious smile on her face. Who would be smiling about this? Definantly not me. 4

A week or so passed by, and he was still here. I had talked to him online through Xbox Live, as usual, but I just couldnt think of bringing up the topic on his move. Everyone knew I liked him a lot, and im sure he knew as well. On that morning, everyone was waiting outside for the school to open up and begin. I had brought my digital camera to take a picture of him before he left. Many people asked me what it was for, but I just ignored them. I didnt have any guts at all to walk up to him and ask for a picture, so I put it back in my backpack and walked away, and into the school building.5

His locker was above mine, and over to the side. I put my backpack in and got out the books I needed for the next few classes. I sighed and walked into homeroom, sitting down at the grouped desks that my teacher assembled a few days ago. Morgan was sitting at another group, just a few feet away from me. I breathed in deeply, I could feel my feet shaking and my hands slightly sweating, "Psst.. Hey, Morgan?" I whispered over to him, as he turned his head and asked, "What?" I paused for a second, the words I was going to ask ran through my mind over and over again. I finally came out with it, "Are you leaving Friday or Saturday...?" I asked. He laughed. He accually laughed! "Bella, I'm not moving! Christina and I made that up. Its a joke." I couldnt believe those words he said. I cried for endless hours last night, and over something thats a joke?6

I was so angry, but upset at the same time. All I did was nod my head and go back to writing a review my teacher had assigned us. So many emotions and thoughts were running through my head, I could take it. The nicest boy in the school, agreed to something so cruel and 'funny'? I didnt talk to him, nor Christina for the whole entire day. Maybe for a few days until I got over it. I couldnt even bare to look at him anymore.7

Eventually, school had ended and summer began. Even then I could stop thinking of him. I was a fairly lonely child, who had lost all contacts with my friends. I never called my friends, they never called me. Very boring it is. I couldnt wait until school started again. Hopefully I wouldnt throw up on the first day like I did last year. 8

7th grade started, and im ready for whatever it brang at me. A new person and everything. I made new, true friends. They accually cared for me and knew what hurt me and what didnt. Im not on the same team with Morgan, but I wish that sometimes, I could switch so I could be with him. After everything and all, I wanted to keep in touch with him. Maybe now, he is a little more mature. Class after class, I would sometimes pass by him in the hallways, and watch him walk out of his classroom. People would call me a stalker, just because I knew his classes by heart.9

"Hey, Bella! The spring dance is coming up! Who are you going with?" One of my new friends, Kelsey had asked me. "Uhm, well, no one asked me to go with them." I replied, looking around to see if anyone heard me, not wanting to feel like a complete loser and all. "Who do you want to go with?" She asked again, but really loud as usual. "I dont know..." I lied. "Mmmmooorrgaann?" She said, in a teasing way. I blushed and looked to the side, "Well, maybe. I dont talk to him as much so I dont know if he would even ask me.. He doesnt like me anyways." I whispered back, as the bell rang and I thankfully, I went to another classroom, leaving her to go to hers as well.10

'He probably has a girlfriend by now...'I thought to myself, watching him walk across the hallway to his next class. I smiled and walked into my classroom. It was a normal day as usual, honestly, it wasnt any different. I noticed my friends would talk to me more, but thats about it. Im sure they wanted to know if I was going to the dance, but I would answer with "I dont know."11

Days and days passed, week after week. This week, was definantly different. I went home and logged onto my myspace. Morgan was online as well. I went to view everyones status updates, scrolling down to see his. "Talking on the phone with my gf Aimee." I was completely speechless. My chest felt like it was crying inside, as I held in the tears and sighed. I rubbed my eyes and groaned. From then, I was so angry, I began to call him all sorts of names. He went back at me and one of my friends, Savannah, told him to leave me alone. Thank God she understood how I felt.12

I cried, night to night, I couldnt believe he did that. It was time for the Spring Dance, and I saw him. He was all dressed up and so was his girlfriend. Aimee; a hateful bitch she is. She never liked me from day one. I think it was probably because I was best friends with her friend, Jackie. Im not sure. The bell rang and I was coming back from PE. I waited at my locker, wanting to give Jackie and Christy their usual everyday hugs. I saw Aimee and Morgan enter through the same doors, holding hands and hugging, then him departing to his classroom. I was so torn once again, and this time, it was infront of my very eyes.13

Jackie was waiting to get to her locker since shes one of the last people to enter the building. She was standing against the wall and I walked up to her slowly. She could see the pain in my eyes, so she opened her arms and held me close to her. "It'll be alright."She whispered to me and I smiled. feeling much better after everything that happened. She's one of the only people in my life that truely makes me happy.14

After that day, I plopped my backpack on the wood floor and climbed up on my bed. 'I wonder if hes online..'I thought, opening my laptop and starting it up. I thought about everything that day and sighed. Logging onto Myspace, I saw his instant messege pop up:15

@Skull_Basher: hey bella
@LegallyMalfunctional: What?
@Skull_Basher: sorry 4 wat i said a few weeks ago
@LegallyMalfunctional: Its okay. Just.. Why didnt you tell me you were dating Aimee?
@Skull_Basher: i didnt want u 2 be sad
@LegallyMalfunctional: You know...16

I paused. I became shy again, and I couldnt type. Breathing deeply, I said what I've always wanted to say.17

@LegallyMalfunctional: I've liked you a whole lot since 6th grade...18

Finally, after years I said it. I smiled slightly, feeling the accomplishment enlighten me. I waited a few more seconds for him to say something. I began to check my messeges, as his IM window lit up yellow. I checked it to see what he said, a bright smile on my face.19

@Skull_Basher: i no but i dont like u.. were just frends.20

I couldnt believe him. After everything, I know he tried to be nice, he just had to say that? It was the normal excuse that most boys use to screw you over so quickly. I exited out of his IM and breathed in deeply. He continued to Instant messege me, but I ignored them and called my friend, Jackie. I knew she'd listen.21

After a few rings, I heard a soft, "Hello?" It was her. "Hey, Jackie?"I asked, making sure it was her. "Yeah, whats up?" I smiled a bit, a few tears running down my face. I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "Uhm... Its Morgan. He's just being a bastard..."I started. We talked for hours and hours. I knew she'd make me feel a lot better, and she did of course. I was completely over all his crap he put me through for two years straight. All of my friends told me that I deserved better than him. I believed them, and just moved along with my life.22

Now, its all just a thing in the past that I look back and laugh at. I noted myself; Never waste your time on a Middle School boy.