Look at that Cat on the Carpet Drying on the Lawn

We had a flood in the basement the other day, and now the carpet is out drying on the lawn for the fourth time after three days of rain.  Our furry four-legged Pepper is out there a little after eight in the evening.  Stupid cat won't come when you call it.  (I so hope the thing doesn't get pregnant.)  The cat is not mine, and while it is a house cat, you'd think the last thing it would want to do is lie there on a wet carpet, but there it is.  Instead of enjoying its freedom in the grass -- the cat picks the carpet to sit on outdoors.  Stupid cat?  Or maybe stupid owner. . .  1

Oh, the cat isn't mine, surely not, but that's what happens when you live in a house with other people, and THEIR lovely pets.  I hope the thing doesn't cough up hair balls outside my door again.  It's not a very attractive noise -- coming from the same cat, when in heat, who hangs around outside my door, meowing, and I keep screaming, "Not interested!"  and whip my slipper at the door, so that I can finally get some sleep at four in the morning.2

The same bloody cat also pooped all in the couch and and all over the stairs carpet.  Man, was that ever a nasty smell to return to late in the summer (I'm sure the heat makes the smell smell so much better, too).  And after having the carpet ripped up, and the couches left out for the dump -- some dudes picked up the couch.  I hope they enjoy the smell.3

Cats are horrible to live with most times, but they are petable, when they aren't scratching and struggling to get away.  Ah, such a hate-love relationship.4

When people ask me if I like cats, I tell them I like dogs.  If you can't see why now, you must be blind.  Cats are great if they're yours, better if you don't live with them, and better still if you can get rid of them (and they don't come back).  Oh, it's not that I don't like cats, it is just that dogs are so much better.5