Tired of having to constantly flipping those burgers to make them cook quicker? Does your neighbor annoy the hell out of you? Then try the Oh My God, What the Fuck? Barbeque Lazor (OMGWTFBBQ Lazor.) Powered by a Uranium core, it radiates absolutely horrendous amounts of radiation that will kill you and your dog in 5 seconds! It fits one the side of the Barbeque and fires a large Lazor beam similar in power to the Death Star over your food, disintegrating anything there in milliseconds. Next time your neighbor is shoveling his dogs leavings in your yard, you can just aim it up, let ‘er rip, and watch as you get arrested by every single armed force known to man due to it being illegal in every single country. 1
For the amazing price of $5000 and another $1,000,000,000 for every 10 seconds it runs, you’ll be moving out of your old, boring house in no time.2
The OMGWTFBBQ Lazor.3
Side Effects include:4
* Nausea5
* Vomiting6
* Muscle and Stomach pains7
* Skin, hair, and eyeballs melting.8
* Great innuendo jokes.9
* Death.10
* Sterilization11
* No Burgers. Ever Again.12
Here we have some bribed testimonies,13
"The OMGWTFBBQ Lazor changed my life completely...Yeah it did, it killed my family, PLEASE! DON'T BU-"14
"I know it's out there...looking for me...hunting me"15
"Yeah, with my OMGWTFBBQ Lazor I killed all the infedels I needed! and more!"16
Buy it now! And Die!17
Disclaimer: OMGLOL Industries holds no legal blame for any deaths, destruction, bankruptcy, and loss of burgers due to use of this item. Most of the time, it will explode, overheat, overheat then explode, or automatically turn and shoot you. No form of insurance will ever cover this product. We also believe you are stupid, stupid suckers for buying the equipment. 18
Author notes
I wrote this in 5 minutes because I thought it would be funny, but feel free to like it/dislike it/hate me for it
A contest entry
- enter, enter, enter! by u.wish.u.were.emmet.
200 points, ended August 8, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Would you buy One?
Comments
-
it is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
ahahahah...hilarious! I loved the last paragraph and when the customer's sayings about the lazor! good luck in the contest, and thx 4 entering!
-
Woot ^^
A real laugh, finally. God I'm so boring. Very, very hard to make me laugh.
Awesome work ^^ (God I'm biased. But it was funny...)
Buy it now! And Die!
AHAHA.
Awesome job from,
Suteki Banshou
Quote of the Minute: Have a laugh, just don't run out of air.
Adding your comment:
