There are shadows in the sky
Dancing in the air
Calling to my heart
Saying, "If you dare, We're running fast, We're running far
Trying to catch the morning star..."1
He took a handkerchief from his pocket and dried the tears away. He stared through watery eyes from the window, his own reflection a hazy image over the scene outside the car. Rain was falling, and he felt as if the angels were crying with him. Never would he know her smell again, or her caressing hands as they touched him in ways that made his whole body shiver. Her smile that could banish the clouds of sadness would never be seen again. She was gone - lost to him in this life - time would never heal these wounds. The clouds opened up as his heart broke with every breath he took. Everywhere people were running to escape the downpour, yet he ignored them. In his mind, life had no meaning anymore. 2
And time and space
Our only shield
Keeping secrets
Unrevealed
Falling night
Breathes in the dark
Trying to catch the morning star... 3
That night he dreamt. 4
Lightblue sky over a flowing field of green, with flowers everywhere. He bent down to smell one, and it died. Was this a sign, he thought? Would his whole life be marked by his heart's flowers dying? Away in the distance he thought he saw a flash of her, but it was only his dreams bending what he saw. In the past he had lost too, one after the other. All around him the beautiful wild flowers were dying, as if a great plague had erupted from the point he stood. Anger and fear filled him at this sight, and he wondered if ever anything would change. What was the point of chasing love when it would never come? 5
The sapphire sky gave way to night, and stars shone above him. Tearing his gaze away from the dead flowers, he glanced up, and one star in particular shone brightly. He stared at it for a long time, wondering of the light too would die. But it shone brightly for a long time, and somewhere deep within him, hope stirred. 6
I can fly through my mind when I see them as they shine
Can it be so hard to try and charm the elusive morning star... 7
His dream gave way to another, and he was flying through the stars. Every light point was a single speck of love. He could see everyone, their smiles and laughter grated on his ears. How he wished he could find his own star, his own place of happiness. On and on he flew through the darkness of his heart and mind, assaulted by the love of a thousand people. Never would he know love. 8
So within the chase
We soon will find
The light of the moon
Those left behind
Try to free the gypsy in their hearts
By trying to catch the morning star... 9
Awakening from that disturbing dream, he went outside to the forest. He had never explored it, but tonight he took off, walking its paths without direction or reason. Every so often he would see the stars and remember his dreamscape flight. They winked at him and at times he could almost sense the light trying to tell him something. And at other moments it felt they were laughing at him. He had lost her and would never get her back, they said. As he struggled through the darkness around him, and inside him, images of her filled his mind. He could still see her, and to him she was surrounded by a glowing white light. As each image played out in his mind, his heart broke again and again. So he went on into the forest, never noticing the cave looming ahead of him. 10
Now that the time
Has come and gone
Illusion has past
And we're on our own
Know the dream is never far...
When trying to catch the Morning Star...11
Faced with the cave, he looked up at the cruel stars above. Tormented by their relentless taunting, he dashes into the cave. An eerie green fills the dank chambers, and for a moment he feels himself drawn towards the centre. There he finds footprints of other creatures. For a moment he studies them, and amongst those prints, he sees hers. His lost love. She had been here before! 12
From the dark corners, laughter arose, but he was too lost in his own thoughts to wonder where it came from. She had always laughed like that. The most beautiful sound imaginable. He followed the footprints, leading him deeper and deeper into the cave, until suddenly it opened into another chamber. Here a soft flowing river of light shone from the centre, and he couldn' t stand to look at it. He turned away, and with that the previous footprints disappeared, replaced with others. He stared with amazement at them, and then realised what it meant. He had lost his love, but she was not gone. Like the stars above, her memory would always remain. Yet other memories waited to be made. He should follow his heart, even when it was dark. Like the strange nimbus of light in this cave, there was always hope in the darkest of places. 13
He smiled to himself and followed the new footprints outside, where he looked to the heavens once more. The sight was beautiful, and for a moment he held his breath. The sky was littered with stars, more than ever before. He knew then that he would find her, he would find his morning star.14
Author notes
It seems I'm doing this poetry/prose mix a lot.
If you guys like it, I'll do more like it
So let me know if you want MORE...or not
Oh, and it's actually lyrics from the song Morning Star by Blackmore's Night (I really really really like their music)
And! The cave described is the Cave Of Wonders, read more of it here www.storywrite.com/Story/1137113
A contest entry
- The Growth of Character by Jennywinnie.
170 points, ended March 6, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Wow you have a very nice style here- quite your own. I loved the peotry mixed in. I wish I could write poetry, I think it give prose much more depth then it could possibly have otherwise. The only suggestion I have I to take those ideas of seeing things- or vision, and build up the intesity. Make us wonder if something bad is going to happen to him, or help us to see the magical forces surrounding the things that are going on. I think that will help to keep this more intense. I was a very pretty little peace, and I think if it can get a bit more intesity it will really be spacial. Good luck in the contest.
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Awesome
I really liked it. don't change it at all.
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excellent
I say it's excellent, but you know what. I didn't read it. I read the beginning. It was too sad to go on. That's a compliment though. I just don't want my heartbreaking so early in the morning.
Keep it up. From the bit that I read, I can tell you're an awesome writer. -
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lol
Thanks for the comment.
Actually the story has a happy ending, so you can read the whole thing
Take care!
~P -
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God I'm sorry. I still can't reach it. I get chocked up in the beginning.
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A+
This is great material, I really like the lyrical mix and you really achieve a stanza here, the whole story is part of the song. Good job, continue writing, and I wish you the best for the future... By the way, I'm founding a group on SW, and AP called Serious Writers Incorporated, our job is to critique pieces, and I was wondering if you would like to join.. Rewarded 4
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Nicely done
I've never read something like this before! I was in awe throughout the entire piece, I loved the deep/raw emotion you put into words in this piece. I love the mix of poetry you also put in here, it reall adds an effect and gives the reader that extra 'umph'. Your works are simply amazing and I hope that you do more of these pieces with this style in the future. (I would give you 10/10 but I didnt know that your limited to certain ratings.). Rewarded 4
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thank you Daeron for the nice comment.
A lot of my work has the poetry/prose mix, hope you like them aswell
Take care
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OK... doing a test here on this rating fingum... so here goes
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I am going to ask Sistrtroll, my co- judge and editor to look at this.
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I have read this story twice and still don't know what to say. I don't hate it, but I think it needs a little editing. I will get back to you.
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This was very good, I loved it!
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Excellent Write
Hi page, this is something like I've never read before,poetry/prose used together in the same write so excellently.As each chapter unfolded I wondered where the journey would take me.The imagery and your terrific imagination
created a very moving piece of writing, which I for one was so pleased I read.Extremely well done,Take care Moon Shadow. ps thanks for your lovely comments
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I love it! How bittersweet and beautiful! It was wonderful. The prose/poetry mix is especially effective.
I must say, though, I was a little worried that he would die when he entered that cave...
Hehehehehe... Silly Kyla. 
I thought that's how he would rejoin his lost love. But you surprised me, and I was pleasantly surprised!
There is one thing you might want to be careful of... You started telling the story in past tense, then you switched to present. BAD PAGE, BAD!!! Don't do that... It distracts the reader, and if that reader is me, it frustrates me and makes me want to take my giant red Sharpie pen to my computer screen... And we wouldn't want that, now would we?
Great write, Page! Best of luck!
s
Kyla -
Brilliance at the least
Wonderful poetry. your stanzas flow beautifully into each line of your story. This is true prose at its finest painting images that impress images of beauty and create empathy in your readers sharing your words in such a way that they are locked into your wonderful tale.
"He had lost his love, but she was not gone. Like the stars above, her memory would always remain. Yet other memories waited to be made."
These lines paint a wonderful idea of a life philosophy that has to be admired and definitely lived. -
It is raelly a amazing work and beautifully picturisation too with a great effort as poet. The emotions of the write are knitted through and through with a kind of peculiar travel of life and its desires in a very mystical way which brings the flavour of a philosophy of life too. The description part of the write is just matchlessly knitted very nicely . The flow of the write is very immpressive .I really appreciate this work.prabhudayal khattar
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there is a right one for everyone even in our dreams...beautifully done...and I honestly needed this right now....
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*dries the tears* This is really awesome, and I know this. I can relate to it. The whole time I read it, I was that one person, that man, that lost it all, that felt as if he would never find his Morning Star. And I once again realized that I will meet her, that I will be happy with her. I treasure the memories that I have, and I swop them for nothing. Page I thank you for this, it is truly beautiful. Well done once again my friend!!
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Very Good
Inspirational stuff I liked it lots keep em coming
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EXCELLENT
I for one love the lyrics/prose mix as you know only too well. You've done well once again, this story just flows so beautifully, it nearly had me in tears halfway through. Excellent description of the emotions. Don't you dare stop!
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