Three Prisons, Three Levels of Pain! - Part 3

That was my intorduction to prison, no explaining the rules, no being showed the ropes, just brutally thrown in a cell, as if I was nothing but an animal.1

My meals where near enough thrown through the door, and often enough I was told by nasty looking officers "If its a bit sloppy, thats cos the kitchen staff spat in it", I already had a few issues with food, but from then on, I became afraid of it, I convinced myself that they had done things to my food, and stopped eating all together.2

The tray in which my meal came, was often left untouched, although I did drink the carton of juice they would put on, I felt this was safe as it was sealed, and some days there was a buiscuit or a bag of crisps, those were the lucky days, those where the days I would eat.3

I came to hate the prison officers or screws as they were more commonly known, each one that visited me, would either wind me up, or get nasty with me. My only way to pass the time, was to write poetry or draw, until they started using that against me. 4

Only two days after arriving, I had been sitting drawing a picture of insects, when a prison officer came in to do cell checks, another stood at the door while he came inside.5

He approached me and snatched the paper out of my hand, I lunged to try and grab it, But he stepped out of my way. Then he picked up the pencil I had been using, and put it in his shirt pocket. 6

"Don't think we are going to let you sit there in your own little world drawing pictures, pet, you can start having privelages when you start acting like you deserve them", I reached forward to try and get the pencil back, this was my only way of expressing myself and I wasn't willing to let him take it. But as I leaned forward, he grabbed my wrist and pushed me backwards away from him. "Dont even attempt it, or I'll do you for assault", he turned to leave and in my temper I flung my head back with pure anger, with a thud against the wall. A flash of blinding white light went off inside my head. and I felt my face getting hot, once again I was dragged to the floor, as more officers appeared, this time however I was injected with something that made me blood feel hot, within seconds I was out like a light.7

I later found out, that what they had injected me with, was known by the other cons as liquid cosh, and had actually been outlawed in prisons two years previously to them administering it to me. However as long as they could get two doctors to say that I was not capable of making my own decisions, then they could give me what they liked, forcefully.8

My time at this jail, continued like this for nearly nine months, I was regularly restrained and appeared before the governor on multiple charges of assaulting staff and other rule breaking, before long, I got so sick that I played into thier hands and would attack before being attacked. Thus building up a reputation for being out of control,9

By the time I left this jail, to be transferred to another, I was considered a high security risk, a prolific self harmer, still had not spoken and also lost a lot of weight.10

When I arrived at the next jail, I weighed in at six and a half stone, and had a pure hatred for prison staff. I thought things couldn't get any worse and my reputation followed me.11

Little was I to know, that despite the next jail seeming a lot more accepting, I was to suffer much worse than I had ever done before.