The girl flew over the village high in the sky, her cheeks reddening from the night's brittle air. Her fourteen feet wings burned and ached with a need to rest. But she had to keep moving, to find a forest was where she could spend the night. It'd be too dangerous to find a place to sleep in a bustling village, like the one under her.1
Dim, yellow, twinkling lights flickered blow her, people going about their business. Quiet murmurs of talking and laughing erupted and echoed through the night sky every now and then.2
A spark of jealously overwhelmed her as she thought about how those people had plenty of food in their stomach, warm, un-tattered clothes on their backs, and love in their hearts, and those of people around them.
It seemed as if there was a soft glow illuminating around the people on ground. She felt so lonely since she'd lost Tristan.3
Rose sighed, her eyelids drooped slightly. She needed sleep, seven full hours of flying can for sure wipe a person out.4
Beating her wings once more, a chilling splash dripped onto her arm, the girl glanced to her right arm and frowned. A crystal tear had formed, sending chills down her back.5
Rain.6
"Great." she muttered sarcastically.7
She let her eyes drift off to the space above her, craning her neck upwards, now noticing the intimidating gray clouds hovering above her.8
A zap of lightning flashed off somewhere in the distance, causing her to cringe slightly,
followed by a rolling boom of irritated thunder.9
In moments, more of the sharp crystals came pelting down.10
Now she HAD to land.
If her wings got wet, it'd be too difficult to make it another mile in the air. 11
Sighing contently, she folded in her wings, pressing them tightly against her back as she pinned her body straight, diving towards the ground.12
Moments before landing, she unfurled her wings, a piercing pain jolted her shoulder blades before landing swiftly, the balls of her feet hitting the pavement harshly.13
Using the shadows as her friend, the girl folded in her wings completely, pulling off the extra large jacket over her waist, and pulling her arms through the sleeves.
She held herself tight, trying to block out the gusts of frigid air that ruffled through every now and then.14
She had landed in an alley way, puddles of mud, litter, and water reached every inch. Garbage cans scattered her pathway as she tried to obstacle over them, and cats screeched in random places. Coming towards the edge of the alley, she froze in her tracks, keeping tucked close to the walls as someone yelled, 15
"WHAT?!-" came a voice, a females from what she could tell.16
"Keep your voice down!" a male shushed her frantically, "Someone's bound to hear you!" he hissed.17
"Well sooooory!" she replied,extending the last word, and continued on,18
"So, if she's..you know blind? How does she find where to sleep?" the girl questioned, and the boy sighed, 19
"Ebony, she just can." he said in an irritable tone.20
"Hold on a second..someone's near. I can sense it!" A third, soft voice appeared out of nowhere. The girl enveloped herself in the shadows, as the three figures shadows loomed a few feet away from her.21
"Show yourself now!" The boy's hard voice suddenly rippled, his tall frame making her press against the wall even more in fear. 22
The other two stayed silent, watching curiously from behind him.23
"Come out of the shadow's now!" he demanded, taking a step closer to her, the smaller girl with the quieter voice spoke,
"Jace." she warned.24
So that was his name.25
"Eleazix, let me handle this." he said through gritted teeth, glaring profusely at the girl when she still did not utter a word.26
"You're not good at handling anything." Eleazix snapped, glancing at him through the corner of her eye.27
Ebony then took a step forward, "Stop. You're both scaring her!" The other girl's voice sounded.28
She watched them carefully, suddenly, Ebony released her long ravishing wings, causing the girl in the shadows to gasp in shock. "Please come out." The girl with wings said.29
She was a hybrid like her. She couldn't be! Wings! She had wings! How could this be?30
"Ebony, let me handle this." Jace extended his arm outwards, to stop Ebony from walking past him, but she just shoved her way through.31
"Amazed, huh?" she smirked, when the girl said nothing. 32
Ebony tried again, 33
"I'm Ebony, a vampire shadow angel. It's..confusing. Who are you anyays?" Ebony asked.34
This was it!, the girl thought, She had to show herself! Ebony was like her. Maybe she could help her. Maybe she wouldn't try to do kill her either! That was a big plus.35
Rose slid of her jacket cautiously, mostly keeping her eye on Jace, the one who looked like he wanted to kill her.36
Ebony just stared, waiting for a reply, and the smaller, elfish like girl, Eleazix, watched her with big, curious eyes.37
She took in a silent deep breath, and expanded her wings from her back.
Jace jumped forward, slashing out his sword and pointing it at her throat, she winced and skipped backwards.38
"Hey!" Ebony snapped, smacking Jace on the back of the his head, making him to cringe, and the Eleazix to giggle.39
"I'm Rose."
Rose finally said, stepping out of the shadows, looking mainly at Ebony now, not so afraid. Fluttering her wings, she purposefully edged the right one into the moonlight to show Ebony they were the same.
Author notes
Hehe! Well, first off, I wanna give TONS of thanks to Silver Dancer, Shadow Ninja, and Jalice Cale, for helping me with this! I turned this into a story, from the beginning of our rp, and how they all met. (Except for Lizzy, she has not come in yet, lol.)
I hope you like it and enjoy it! Tell me what you think!
Jalice Cale-Corina (not here yet)
Silver Dancer-Ebony, Jace
Shadow Ninja-Midnight and Ruby (Where Ebony was talking about one of them being blind, lol.)
Pixie Queen- Lizzy..almost here. 
MaximumRose-Rose (meh)
-Rose 
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Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Can you please write the next bit to this you did really well like i said in my comment but i wanna see the next bit!!!!!!
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very well written and good luck. louise
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Nice story, I really liked it.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
-Elms
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this was really good. i love your combination of hybrid.
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wow i didnt know that jace was talkin bout ruby finding a place to sleep!
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lol I suppose. I was reading the beginning part of it where rose came in and I think thats what was going on or somethng like that.
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hehehe i like it that does seem like the characters ecsepically Jace bossy as ever!
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Hehe! Thanks!
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yeah
nice intro to your characters some parts sound a little funky but the story comes across fine good read~
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One problem! jace is my character!!!! not Galicia's she's Corina and Aran!! Rose this is an amazing creation!!! i love all of the description in to!!!! and thak you for telling thew who the character's belonged to as well!
Keep writting this... Please... or i'll send Eleazix after you! 
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lol ooops sorry!
wait who is galicia? -
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I meant Jalice's ooppss!!!
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lol kay I fixed it
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Thank's Rose!! you know... we need to finish this Ro we are at the last page!! Pg. 80!!!!
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Error, shoot be fourteen foot wings, other than that, it was a masterful creation and the background was a nice touch. I agree with the others, your grammar and spelling do need work , but not the story itself. I wouldn't dare lay a finger on it's design. It's fantastic.
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Great.Keep it up.
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Well, the story is interesting, no doubt.
What you have to do now is work on your grammar skills. Once you tidy up this chapter, you'll see how much better it can be.
Keep working at it
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Okay, thanks! I'll go back and work on that when I have some time. Thanks once again!
-Rose
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It reminds me of the Maximum Ride books. The plot is almost the same; hybrids, wings, hiding, experiments. But aye, your writing skills are definitely prominent.
Try to touch up of the little mistakes and making sure words appear where they should. For example, "a sharp pierce splashed onto her arm" sounds confusing. "a sharp raindrop" sounds less dramatic but still has an effect and people will grasp your meaning immediately.
Line 11 in particular is very drawn out. shortening it will make it easier to read and less complicated- especially if you're the type and that hold your breath between each full stop.
Cut out any unnecessary words, like the last one from line 9.
Overall, it's a neat piece of work. Try to introduce the characters more evenly, so they aren't all bunched together and a first time reader won't be able to tell them apart.
Good dialogue... keeps the story moving and adds some excitement.
Keep it up.beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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Oh, and the plot is completely different, it was just introducing this Character, Rose.
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thanks for the tips! Actually, in the rp, we all had to pick something we were, some fantasy thing. Some were ravens. a fox, (there's shape shifters) Vampires, Shadow vamps, etc. I chose being a hybrid, from Maximum Ride. You got it right on the ball! thansks! lol
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For someone as young as you, you're a very good writer. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, Rose. Very descriptive.
Outstanding. =] -
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Thanks so much! It means a ton and really makes me feel good about my writing! thanks!!!
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i really like your story, i had something like that in mind, but don't worry i won't write it
i enjoyed reading this story- actually this is one of the better stories i've read lately.i hope there's going to be second part!
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thanks so much!
I hope to proceed in this, if I ever get around to it
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Amazing job, you should definitely write more! Please keep going!
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hehe thanks!
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this is awesome!!!! can't wait to read more. totally awesome... loved it =]
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thank you tons!
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