Struggles (1)

CHAPTER 1:THE HOSPITAL1

In the hospital, fighting for my life, struggling to take a breath. My body black and blue, painful to move, to breath. I close my eyes, trying to relax, sleep.2

I take a turn for the worst. I watch myself from the corner of my hospital bed, I stop breathing and, suddenly, surrounded by doctors. My life line goes. The doctors run around, trying to get me back online. No one I love around to say good-bye. I'm all alone, no one to hold me, just metal and cold hands are there to comfort. Doctors struggle to find the right combination of shocks and breathing tubes, as if I'm some kind of safe that they can't figure out...3

My name is Katherine. I'm was only 24 years old at the time and already I was struggling for my life. But I didn't want to die! I kept saying, 'God, please don't take me now! I mean...yea, I've done a lot of things in this life, but I still have so much that I still want to do.' Talking about being through a lot...4

I suppose I've struggled, for my life, a lot...I was born premature and had to stay in the hospital for three whole months. Everytime they thought I was stable, I had something new wrong with me. I think I was a lot like the saying, "Take one step forward and fall 2 steps back," except I was more like: 1 step forward, 3 steps back, 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 3 steps forward, and 4 steps back. I guess I gave the doctors and my parents a run for their money. And here I am, in the hospital again... My parents stand by my bed now. I can hear my mother, "Oh honey. Please come back. You can't die yet. God can't take you yet. You've only just begun your life." 'Why can't I respond? Am I dead? Is this what it's like?'5

I'm so confused. Am I really experiencing this? I'm really DEAD? Was this what I got for trying to make my relationship...my MARRIAGE work? I had been with this man for four years and for the longest time he was the sweetest man you'd ever met. He showed no signs of hurting anyone, but then something triggered him and...well, you know... he snapped.6

So, there my body lies, in a cold, stiff hospital bed. I don't look dead... I'm sleeping? With wires coming from every inch of my body? I can see everyone around me, but I can't do anything to calm anyone. My father is in the corner, praying. My mother - sitting in the chair next to me, holding the hand of the lifeless body that I used to call my own. I heard that my baby sister is flying in from college (across the country) to see me. They say that she may be able to pull me out of it...whatever IT was.7

My sister, Kelsey, is only 19, but she is one of the sweetest, most beautiful girls I've ever known. She just started her 3rd year of college. I swear that girl is the smartest girl you'll ever meet. I know SHE won't end up like this!8

So, the only good thing about being in this state... is that it doesn't hurt anymore, but I don't care about pain. I WANT OUT! I want to show my family that I am here. "I'm here! I can hear you! I'm ok! Can you hear me?" I try to scream, but my body lay, motionless.9

"Her mouth just moved honey! Please believe me? I saw her try and say something!"10

"Peg, don't get your hopes up. It might not have had anything to do with anything."11

"What do you mean?! Are you giving up on her already? She's only been in this coma for three months! We can't give up yet!"12

'WHAT?! It's been 3 months already?! How? What do I do? How do I get out of here?'13

"Peg, honey, come home with me. You can't spend the rest of your life here."14

"Yes I can. I mean...what if she wakes up Edward? What if she wakes up and I'm not here? She'll be so afraid. I can't leave her."15

"Please come home?"16

"No!"17

"Fine, I'm going to go home...I love you."18

"I...I..."