The Haven...chapter 4

I gaped. Surely, she was not a....a.....1

Oh, come on, the remains of my sanity whispered. This is nothing new. You know how to deal with this.2

Trying to stay calm, I stumbled back until I hit the wall and slid into a crouched position. I buried my face into my hands and inhaled deeply. The feelings had that emerged when I met Miranda-or whenever I was having an episode, for that matter-had intensified without my knowing, and now seemed to glow inside my chest.3

“Are you okay?”4

Miranda's voice was concerned, and trustworthy. She was the type that could keep a secret if asked, I could feel it. But how could I explain the situation to her,a girl I barely knew, when I couldn't even tell my parents? My best friend?5

“It's nothing.” I heard myself lie. “I'm fine, it's nothing at all.”6

“Yeah, right. Is this a delayed reaction to the eye thing or something? Because it's actually really pretty. I usually say the first thing that I think of, so if it sounded unflattering, that's not what I meant at all-” 7

“It's not you, Miranda, okay? Don't worry about it, it's my problem!”8

She snorted. “ Like hell I won't worry. Spill.”9

And suddenly, the words did.10

“You aren't real.” I whispered, equally desperate and miserable. “You can't be. Just like all the other things I see....”11

Miranda was quiet for awhile, while I tried to convince myself that the repetitive splashes did not sound meditative. In fact, they were merely figments of my imagination. Finally, she asked “What constitutes seeing, exactly?”12

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I had just revealed the dirty secret I had been hiding as long as I could remember, and the reaction wasn't even enough to distract me! There was no running, no screaming, no accusations, no frantic calls to the nearest shrink or institution. Instead, there was simply a question, a question that made no sense.13

“I don't know,” I replied, annoyed and harsh. “It's kind of what I do with my eyes, you know? Except instead of what usually happens, seeing normal, everyday things, I watch thousands of humming golden lights fly around a room, or a girl with a fish's tail rehydrate in a bathtub! I'm crazy! Hallucinating!”14

To my astonishment, she started laughing, sending echoes around the room. “Malachi's a genius!” she yelled. “You really don't know!”15

“Know what?”16

“Oh, wow...Zoe, look at me.”17

I shook my head vigorously, pressing my palms against my eyes so firmly I saw fireworks explode against my eyelids. She stopped chuckling and sighed, though a trace of humor remained. 18

“Fine, the hard way it is.” 19

Suddenly, salty water crashed down on me. I gasped and gripped my arms against the sudden shock. My vision seemed blurred for a few seconds as I readjusted to the morning light streaming into the bathroom, feeling water droplets run down my arms and face.20

And then I saw Miranda. She had her arms crossed over the side of the tub and I could see even at a distance that they appeared to be speckled with the same blue-green scales that covered her...tail, which was draped over the other end. She was chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. 21

Altogether, it was simply incredible.22

But it was more of the fact that I could see her at all that made me suck in a loud breath, startling Miranda into the present once more. 23

“Can you come over here?” she asked gently. Benumbed, I nodded and crawled across the room.24

She didn't look any less possible as I drew closer. If anything, I was reaching the conclusion that she was real. She wasn't disappearing, after all, unlike all of my other delusions that faded when asked. So she must be real, somehow.25

But that was probably the textbook definition of “losing it”, I reminded myself. Deserting all rationality to believe the dreams were plausible and substantial.26

That wasn't the way I had tried so hard and for so long to follow. Why should I waste the all the effort to give up now?27

I sat on the floor next to the bathtub, looking anywhere but at Miranda. My gaze settled on the floor, daring to move upwards, stopping as I saw that instead of the feet I expected, the tub stood on ingeniously designed wheels.28

What?29

Miranda dribbled water on my head, forcing me to look up. Her makeup was smeared, the black eyeliner beginning to pool above her cheekbones, but the blue-green eyes it surrounded were deadly serious, the same color as the non-existent scales.30

“Okay, so from the sound of it, you are pretty much convinced you're crazy. But you're wrong.” Miranda said, gesturing to her tail. “You're perfectly sane, as far as I can tell. These things you see, me included, are real. It just takes a certain type of person to see them. A person with magic in them.”31

A strangled, uncontrollable laugh escaped from my throat. Suddenly, I was rolling on the tiled floor, sending echoes bouncing against the walls.32

“Magic? Me?” I gasped. “You obviously overestimate my insanity!”33

Steel glinted in her eyes as she asked me angrily, “What's your diagnosis then, Zoe?”34

My laughter died as I looked at her seriously.35

“Let me guess: you looked, but nothing really fit. You couldn't have schizophrenia, because you didn't notice any crazy mood swings. You couldn't have Delusional disorder, because the things you 'imagined' weren't real, couldn't be real.” Miranda chuckled bitterly. “ You didn't have the other common symptoms either; the confused thoughts, the incoherent speech, the slowed movements, etcetera, etcetera. But there had to be something wrong with you, because you wouldn't feel so alone, so apparently different from everyone else.”36

I hauled myself off the floor by gripping one of the bathtub's wheels. It was only then that I noticed that my hands were trembling. Because she was right, down to every detail.37

“A lot of people who come to The Haven are like you; they don't get what they are, at first. You do have the, hands-down, best case of self-denial, though.”38

“Fine, then.” I said, trying to disbelieve her, willing my hands to stop shaking. “What are you, if I'm not hallucinating? A mermaid?”39

“I'm a demi.” Miranda replied, straightening proudly.40

“A what?”41

“It's a name Sam and I created for people like me-you'll meet Sam soon. We borrowed it from demigod, this Greek name for people who were half-human, half -god. Not that one of my parents is a god- it was just that demi sounded cooler, and less insulting than some of the other stuff I've been called, like halfer. Ugh!”42

I shook my head. “I don't quite understand.” 43

“Can I tell you the story, then?” Miranda asked excitedly. “I love to talk about it, but I haven't had a new audience in forever!” When I didn't object, she started speaking in the practiced way of someone who has told the tale a hundred times, and will tell it a thousand more just for the small closeness it gave her.44

“So my dad was this total prodigy in college. NYU obviously has had a lot of students, but all of the teachers in the English department swore he was the best. He had a ridiculously successful time as a TA, and by the time he got his master's, he was asked to be a professor.”45

“Naturally, he accepted. A professor right out of college! It was more than anything he had expected. So he and a few friends flew to Hawaii on impulse to celebrate. One night, my dad got so drunk that he wandered down to the beach near the bar they were drinking at. That's where he met my mom.”46

My jaw dropped, and Miranda grinned. “Of course, he didn't believe she was really a mermaid. Even English geeks can get smashed beyond reason. So he flew back to New York City and started teaching Comparative Literature. But a few months later, he found a baby crying outside his office, wrapped in seaweed with a note...explaining things.”47

Her face stiffened, and she brushed her fingers over the scales on her arm. “You're mad at her for that. Your mother.” I stated, feeling guilt, aloneness, and anger surge through the hand on my heart.48

“Kinda.” she lied. “But my dad was great about the whole situation. It was hard getting used to his kid sprouting a tail every time he tried to give me a bath, but he handled it well. I never felt like a freak with him.”49

But something had happened, obviously. As if sensing my curiosity, Miranda took a deep breath and spoke quickly, with the air of getting it over, if it had to be remembered at all.50

“Certain people” she said, her expression telling me how distasteful they were, “decided I was too much of a risk. I mean, look at me; my purpose in life is to stick out, I dye my hair pink, I have scales on my arms, and it's emergency situation if I'm outside when it rains. Dad and I had a big argument about whether or not they were right. Not long after that, I was sent here.”51

Memorized pain made the fingers in my chest contract, and my face twisted in empathy.52

“Oh, it's okay!” Miranda exclaimed,mistaking my expression for sympathy, instead. “I still see my dad all the time, and I really do love it here!The permanent residents are like my family...well, not Heather, she gets on my nerves....and I really don't know Cassandra, but she never talks....and Ace...”she blushed.53

I shook my head. “I'm still confused.”54

“Well,” Miranda said, lifting a perfectly normal foot from the water and inspecting it, “I'm feeling better, so if you wait outside I'll get changed and then we can go meet everybody. They can explain it better, probably, maybe. Oh, but you should grab a towel, over by the sink. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I splashed you that much.”55

Grinning faintly, I went to stand in her room, drying my hair as I surveyed the colorful walls again, the pink paint covered with pictures.56

I was about to meet the rest of The Haven.57

It would be the true test of my sanity.58