Mosta the crowd had left The Peg after the photo session 'n' Me, bullocky 'n' Buck were swimmin' along quite nicely in our sea of alcohol,reminissin' 'bout days gone by 'n' things we'd done. 1
Even talked 'bout our wimmin. Yeah, we three were all still hitched. Just couldn't live with 'em. 2
Never got divorced. Hell no! That's to bloody expensive! 3
Just sent them a few bob when we were flush 'n' had a bit spare. 4
Buck was well into his cups 'n' startin' to ramble 'bout his missus at home in the city. That was 'nother reason we didn't live with 'em. Couldn't abide the hustle an' bustle of city life, sleepin' in double beds and showerin' every day. Took away a mans natural protection, that did. 5
Now ya gotta remember, Buck in his stockin' feet stands 5'8" and weighs in 'bout 120lb. Not much of 'im, but he's wiry, an' his missus would stand six foot and weigh 'bout 250lb.6
"All woman" Buck reckons. She had boobs like two melons gone rotten and hung down over her ample pot gut making it difficult to know where her boobs ended and her thighs started. Sh'd two great white thighs that'd crack any man's skull if he left it between them for to long.7
An' she was sex mad! All she ever wanted was sex, sex, sex!8
(That's another reason why Buck stayed away!)9
Gives me a laugh when I think back t'the time Bullocky an' me went 'round to pick up Buck. Couldn't find 'im anywhere. Went in the bedroom and all we see is Buck's bare arse an' his legs sticking out from those great rolls of lard. He still had his bloody boots on as well!How he ever survived down there, God only knows!10
Ya know, we'd be 'round at Bucks partakin' of a few long neck steaks, (that's bottles of beer for you uneducated ones), an' she be sittin' on the sofa, lift her mighty arse cheek an' let one off!11
God! It was like a hundred freight trains all comin' down the line at once. An' the smell! 'Twas like the lids bein' take off a dozen drums of fishmonger's offal combined with a couple a dozen rotten eggs. 12
Get the drift?13
Ya really don't want to!14
Buck also had a tribe of billy lids. Eight of the little blighters, all under ten. Candles hangin' from their little noses an' basin cut hair doos with what was left, standin' on end.15
'Nother good reason for Buck not dwellin' with them was 'cause every time he visited she would raid his pockets and scarper to the rubbity dub to play the pokies leavin' him with the kids. Her great arse would swallow the stool she was sittin' on as she punched the keys with her great sausage like fingers. 16
Ah but now Bullocky's strife was the dead opposite. She was a tiny wee thingy. 17
But that's another story ...........18
ME 200519
Author notes
Sex, Gas & Leaving the kids.
No Internet jargon just local idiom.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thank you DJM for the Applause. Your comment gives me great encouragement. I appreciate you coming by.
Take care,
Sammy -
A must Read!
Cant, stop...laughing! WOW I luuve it.
"Candles hangin' from their little noses an' basin cut hair doos with what was left, standin' on end."
Oh my... this should be in print
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I love these guys Sammy!
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Don't want the lads loosing that manly bush aroma now do we?
Thanks for the great comments 1der ... I truly do appreciate them. I think this may be the last we see of the lads for a while ... They've sorta 'run outa room' ...
Take care,
Sammy
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Heaven forbid them boys should have to shower every day!! Although from the sounds of things, poor ol' Buck needs to go home a bit more often just to hose his old lady down... ya know what I mean? EEeewww!! Apparently he goes home often enough to create little critters and add themto the brood... guess the man does have some priorities! This was too funny Sammy. I love these characters of yours. Don't wanns sleep with any of 'em, but I love 'em! Thank you for another great entry. This was superb! Good luck in the contest.
(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¤ ¸.•'´)¸.•'´)
~~~Touchof1der~~~
(, .•'(¸.•'´ ¤ `'•.¸)`'•.¸)
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Thanks Katie ...
I can always rely on you for an encouraging comment.
I have enjoyed writing about the Trio but I think it's time to "put them to bed", so to speak.
Maybe one last one with them getting lost.
Bless you Katie,
Sammy -
Great Humor!
"Took away a man's natural protection" oh my goodness sammy, this is just too much, I have only just found this one, I clicked onto the competition link after reading the other one and found another load of laughs! No wonder these ere blokes would rather be fishin an boozin than stay home! You should get this series in print, it would go down well for sure, the humor is excellent, the local lingo is what makes it so lifelike, I would hazzard a guess that we have all known someone like the trio you write of, life in the raw Sammy, and you have done a splendid job of writing about it too!
Well Done!
~Katie~
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