R.E.D

                                                     R.E.D.
                                              Romance. Encounter. Death.1


For Patrick Hanson, Valentines's Day was the perfect day, the day of red, the day of love and the day of death. He spent all year carefully choosing his victim, preparing, waiting, longing for the killing day to come. His obsession with red was more than a mere obsession, was his sick and secret way of life. 2

Patrick was very careful in selecting his victims, nine years had gone by since his first killing, and the cops had no lead to link him to the crimes, and this year his pick was extra special. 3

Alexia Summers, blond, beautiful deep-green eyes, sexy curvy body, his most passionate student-- not only passionate for law, but secretly, deeply in love with her handsome, and mysterious teacher. She knew their romance had to remain a secret, for Patrick's sake, which was perfect for him, since no connection could be traced back to him from campus. 4

Patrick had planned what to Alexia seemed the perfect romantic gateway. He owned a cabin in the woods-- the place of all his previous killings. She agreed to his plan without a question, all she wanted was a chance to have Patrick all for herself, to feel his body on hers, to consummate their love. 5

Patrick had all prepared for the big day, he picked her up from a nearby bus station, and drove her to his cabin. Alexia was stunned by the beauty of his place, a wooden cabin isolated in the middle of nowhere, nestled by ancient cedar trees, very private, peaceful. 6

A trail of red petals led the way from the porch to the inside of the cabin, where there was a huge canopy bed in the center of the room, red veil hanging loosely from the top of it, covered with red satin sheets and various heart shaped pillows. 7

Red candles were placed in every flat surface of the cabin, being the main source of light. The fireplace crackled, slowly, displaying the hot red flames, two floor-to-ceiling mirrored walls reflected the whole scene back and forth making the room look twice its original size. 8

She thought all the red setting to be a little too much, but also extra romantic, much more than she ever dreamed of. Alexia was convinced by Patrick's effort in preparing this all, that he was also in love with her, and now more than ever she wanted him. 9

Patrick handed her a square red box, tied by a perfect satin red bow, Alexia smiled shily, flattered by all the preparations Patrick had in place, and now to top it of-- a gift.10

She opened the box and her mouth hanged open by content of it. She carefully removed the long, strapless, red silk Versace dress. Patrick could be a killer, but he was sure to please his victims in every possible way, before he pleased himself with their lives. 11

He told Alexia to change into her her new gown, she obeyed him gladly. Patrick now, anxiously waited for the festivities to begin, he paced slowly in front of the fireplace waiting for his prize to come out. 12

Alexia stepped into his view, her features even more exuberant in the red tailored dress. Patrick walked towards her, he stared deeply into her eyes, he leaned closer and with one hand he pulled her hair loose from its original ponytail, the long, wavy blond hair laid now past her shoulders, he looked at her, admiring her beauty, trying to control his anxiety and desire to kill her. 13

He took her in his arms and laid her gently in the bed, Alexia was excited, all she'd ever dreamed of in a man, was now hers, she was going to give herself to him, completely, she was sure he was the one, her first one. 14

Patrick laid on the bed on her side, he gently ran his hands from her knee to the inside of her thigh, she shivered lightly, he kissed her passionately and she lost herself in the need to have him. 15

Patrick pulled a very intricate red satin rope from under the pillows, and tied her arms tightly above her head on the bed headboard, she didn't ask why, she was too excited, and willing to play whatever game there was on Patrick's mind. 16

He did the same with her legs, pulling them far apart from each other, tying them tightly, making sure she couldn't escape. She was growing even more excited by the rough foreplay. She was feeling like a victim, a slave, bounded to have to abide by her owners will, and that only made her fell more sexy, more into his game. 17

Patrick couldn't believe how pleasant, and easy this was going to be, he almost felt disappointed, since his victims horror always made it more interesting to him, but he was enjoying it nevertheless, a different experience for his tenth killing. 18

Alexia bit her lower lip, and furrowed her brows pretending concern, as she saw Patrick slowly pull a gold dagger embedded with red stones from behind him. She thought the dagger to be a beautiful and elegant object, perfectly suited for the occasion. 19

The only thought that bothered her slightly, was the thought of having  her new dress cut into pieces-- for no other obvious way to remove it from her body seemed to be allowed by all the red satin straps that held her to the bed. 20

Patrick ran the dagger slowly from the length of her arm to the side of her face, down to her neck. The time had come, time to have his grand finale, he climbed on top of her. 21

"Do you trust me?" He asked her. 22

"Always,"she answered him, a dazzling smile iluminated her face. 23

He leaned closer to her, and started to kissing her fervently, she closed her eyes and arched her back and her neck backwards for him to kiss her neck and collar bones. Patrick contemplated her new position, it was perfect. 24

He suddenly stopped the kissing, and with one fluid fast movement he slashed her throat open, she opened her eyes in a reflexive motion, and the last thing she saw was a glimpse of the bloody dagger in Patrick's hand. Too fast for her to realize what had just happend to her. 25

He sat on top of her, letting the hot red blood cover him, 'till her heart realized that there was no blood left to pump, and came to a stop. Patrick sat there for a couple of minutes admiring his reflection in the mirrored walls, back and forth, a thousand images inside one another, the image reflected pleased him deeply--his own personal inferno, now more beautiful, and more perfect than ever, covered in living RED.
26

Author notes

My color is red, my theme is horror...and I really hope you like it...

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • MoreTears2Fall
    November 8

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    This is really good. You described everything really well. The end surprised me. It kept me on the edge of my seat. It's pretty cool how everything is focused on the color red. Great Write.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • seamus
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    Chilling

    This is very eerie. I was hoping you wouldn't kill the poor girl. Gotta admit, not really my cup of tea. But it was pretty well written. Suggest: para 8 candles in every> s/b on
    "the only source of light" but then you talk of the fireplace which would also be a source of light.
    Para 17 scape >s/b escape.
    I hope Dexter gets this guy.


  • Elect The Dead
    October 22
    Edit | Reply
    Nice stuff hehe


  • KiwiGurl
    September 21
    Edit | Reply
    ooooo I loved it. I'll have to check out your other stuff!


  • DewDrop
    September 21
    Edit | Reply
    btw I loved teh title.

  • DewDrop
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    i thought that this was going to being like the same ond ssong and dance in the begining, but as i kept reading you turned it into something or your own. I was really quite nice to read. Very intruging. Thanks for sharing.

    Dew


  • SocioPathetic...
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    i thought at the start it was a bit common, in terms of those cliche`d stories, but towards the end it was very interesting in terms of patrick looking into the mirror at his own reflection. i also liked the repitition of the colour red in the story.. that is true obsession
    good work

  • This is really great =]
    I really like how everything is focused on the color red, the plot is creative and original.
    It's slightly disturbing but interesting at the same time.


  • olisykes-luv
    July 28
    Edit | Reply

    Awsum

    loved the use of language etc
    great


  • Onomarith
    July 28
    Edit | Reply

    and what an impressive use of red color!

    your phrase, satin red......it's been exploited in a fabulous fashion


  • Onomarith
    July 28
    Edit | Reply

    Oh my gods!!!!!!

    I think I am never going to let anyone even kiss me!!!!


  • lil.janie
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    I'm late, and everyone else said it all. Still, I must say that this thing with the colour is GREATE. I usualy associate everything with the colours and/or sounds, so I find this red murder realy interesting. Red is usualy refering to love and passion, and only that. It is a colour of the heart (and blood), and it's so good for it to be related with the messy kill too.
    As I was reading it, I was suprised how much trust Alexia showed. To surrender yourself to someone in that way, so completly - it reminds me of a child.
    You did a very good job!

  • Moving

    Awesome. Really "cheesy" descriptions and nice ending, i like your way with words.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    Ah... the power of red. So many meanings, but oddly enough, when I think of red- this is about like more what I think of that would relate. This is a good story. Detailed, but not overly done with a bunch of un-needed descriptions. It kept a good pace with the upcoming action and Patrick- well, he creeped me out a little. But that's a compliment

    I would love to have seen what it was exactly that drove Patrick into murdering every Valentine's. Unlike the usual serial killer that is constantly murdering, he only limits himself to one a year.. and on that particular day. I find that really fascinating and it makes me want to learn more about this odd man.

    Poor, unsuspecting Alexia. Girl puts trust into her lover, only to have her throat slashed while she lay there in a versache gown of all things. I felt sympathy for that character. Young and naive, but truly in love with Patrick, who in the end is her murderer.

    The story held my attention for sure and I'm glad to see a horror/crime story with the proper color use. I've been on such a kick for the particular genre in recent months.. and you did a good job with it.

    Thanks for entering the contest and lots of luck- I enjoyed this!


    • Crys Moro
      July 26
      Edit | Reply

      A Big Thanks!!!

      Thanks for such a complete comment!!!
      I'm glad you liked it!

      The reason Patrick just kills on Valentine's Day, is because of his obsession with red, in his mind red and valentine's day goes together, he links the color with the feeling of love and also the color of blood and death. He is attracted by the color, the color triggers in him the desire to kill,as on valentine's day everything is basically decorated with red, or symbolized by red,(flowers, hearts, etc..) he feels it as the perfect day to make his kill.
      He is mentally sick, and a very complex character, I enjoyed so much witting about him, that I'm planning on turning this piece into something more, as you I found myself very fond of the genre, anyways...

      Thanks again for hosting this contest, and for prompting the color idea that inspired this story!


  • Rorshach gold member
    July 25

    Edit | Reply
    I found it disturbing, as in any relationship there has to be an element of trust. Reading about the trust being abused in such a horrific way is never fun. A bit sad, really.
    You need to reread it, and remove the silly errors. (One example: P16, 'asked why' should be 'ask why.')
    The strongest part of the story was how you used the colour red. With both blood and love (hearts etc) a murder connection is scarily appropriate.


  • davelolione gold member
    July 25

    Edit | Reply

    A dozen red roses please.

    Nice work. Good descriptions and tempo. It really picked up towards the end. Can you get the blood stains out of the dress and get a refund??..

    liked it alot,keep it up. Is this a different direction for you now?

    Dave

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Crys Moro
      July 26
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for the comment!!

      Hey Dave!!! Thanks for reading and commenting on this story.

      Yes, this tottaly a new direction to me, I never thought I would enjoy so much to write about death, and crimne, and horror stuff, but for my big surprise I DO!
      The ideas come naturally, I dont have to think too hard over them, and charcters crete themselves like they somehow existed, and were just waiting for their chance to have their story told...It may sound crazy but is how I feel when writting this genre...

      Thanks again for the comment!!!!

  • Believe me when I tell you that your writing always makes me picture it as a movie! Like, the whole time I was reading it, I could picutre it as if I were sitting in a dark movie theater for the opening night of "R.E.D.", Rated R. (LOL)

    This was so good, and he sure knows how to act. I was literally turned on by the wording, the different acts of Alexia, and it seemed so real. The setting was so PERFECT! A cabin out in the middle of nowhere? LOVE IT! I kind of picture this with serene white snow covering the ground and everything outside. (IDK)

    The foreplay was so sexy; I like how she was so clueless as to what was happening. I mean, I like ropes and handcuffs too but theres a limit! And what topped it off was how just sat there, stairing at her as she gasped for air and layed in her red blood. He's some character. Alexia, a little on the dunce side. (LOL)

    But yea, absolutely a perfect story to read and I enjoyed every line. And also, the title caught my attention. I always feel like a good story has to have a title that when someone looks at it they go, "Huumm, R.E.D.? sound interesting", and I did just that!

    DEFINENTLY A STANDING OVATION!!!

    BRAVO! BRAVO!! ENCORE!!!!

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 4.

    • Crys Moro
      July 25
      Edit | Reply
      WOW!! this must be the longest comment on my stories ever! And it surely deserves the appropriate reply.

      First: Thanks so much for the comment, it meant a lot.

      It's really wonderful to know that my stories have that effect on you, thanks for reading my work. I really try my best to express the emotions and the scene to the reader, and to know that you felt like you were in a movie theater watching it that's really flattering, really great!

      I'm discovering that I really enjoy writing murder and horror stories, every time I try to write other genre I kind of get stuck, but with dark stories it comes natural, the words just flow...

      The name is my favorite part, I was able to play with color and the words...

      I enjoyed myself so much writing this that I might make something else out of it....maybe a novel...maybe...ideas just keep coming into my mind...I keep putting this together with the Amityville idea you gave me and the combination... boy...it's something else...

      Thanks so much for the support!

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