Yeah...

So when I saw this contest, I thought 'Hey, I should enter! If I can be nearly as random as my friends, I could totally win this beast!'1

But as I was about to start typing, I heard my sister scream, "Krysti! Come check out what this bug is! I can't tell!"2

So I had to leave and go check what the hell she was talking about. It was a tiny little beetle that had the cutest little design on it's back... Wait. That's not the story I was going to tell! 3

Ack...speaking of that story, I can't remember what it was going to be about...I know it was going to have a shoe, a chicken, a water hose, a mirror, and a pickle jar. Oooh, speaking of which, light bulbs are very warm when you keep them on for a couple hours. But sometimes that warmness isn't very nice... It makes my fingers want to cry. Which, by the way, I didn't even know was possible until right now! All you need is a Sharpie! Pretty effing epic, if you ask me...which you didn't, but I don't need your permission to give my opinion!4

Take that, Obama! ...You too, Demon Lord!5

...Wait...wasn't I supposed to write a story?