What a day!1
It sure was good to be back at the camp!2
I'd been down at the Welfare Centre trying to con them outa a few bucks so as to keep me, Bullocky and Buck afloat while we bided our time 'til goin' after those elusive white bait up the coast. 3
Listenin' to that stupid woman at the centre going on 'n' on about her bloody chair that'd supported her arse for the last twelve years just about drove me spare! No wonder her boss'd gotta her a knew'n. The size of her back acreage was big 'nough to host a herd of buffalo and it hung over the sides of the chair like it were curtains at the local pitcha theatre. 'N' her voice! It was like screamin' banshees bein' chased by the wicked witch 'n' her broomstick! Will say this abouta though. Her eyes matched her shoes. One black tother brown.4
When I got back to the camp, there was a note tellin' me that Bullocky Dan and Buck Rabbit were down at the local glue pot partaking some of Doc. Speight's cure all, so I dropped me swag off at the cabin and sauntered over to the camp kitchen for to rustle up a bit of grub to eat before joinin' 'em.5
Geeze! I don't know what'd been goin' on in that there kitch'n but the table was cover'd in what looked like tomato sauce or summit simlar,all red, for all I know, coulda bin the real stuff! Lyin' there in the middle ofit all, was what looked mighty like a dildo, one of them vibrator thingys. Ya know, a home 'n' away hubby's satisfy 'er.6
Sure as hell looked like someone had been spicin' up some hair pie or a fur burger before eatin' it! It'd be those randy bastards from the apricot cannin' factory up the road, I bet. They were mostly students and there were some lookers among them. Gave me an itch below me belt like just thinkin' about 'em.7
Come ta think of it, there were a lot of moans an' groans comin' from the shower block. Hope none of 'em were tearin' one off in there!8
Just imagin' where ya might be puttin' ya feet! On 'em boards where some sheila had fizzed her bung!9
But food was more important if I was gonna swig a few pints, so I put that thought aside 'til later. Who knows what might come about. 10
I did me "tidy kiwi" bit and cleaned up the table and washed the look-a-like bloody knife 'n' fossicked in the cupboard to see what was there worth me eatin'. Two minute noodles with mushrooms 'n' a couple of bits of toast, looked to be my fare. I reckon I could toast, boil and fry. 11
I had a hair-doo like a friar so I should be good at that!12
Hullo!13
What was this then tucked in behind the packets of noodles?14
It was a bloody roll of undeveloped film!15
Who's was this then?16
All sorts of possibilities went through my head. I checked it out an' it was still within its "use by date" so it should be okay.17
Would it be a good investment to get it developed or would I be wasting our money?18
I'd have to talk it over with Bullocky and Buck but I knew what I was gonna do!19
Sammy 200520
Author notes
*1, 2 & 4. No Internet slang, just local idiom.*
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Well done Sammy congratulations on the gold
Paul -
It's a real treat to have you grace my pages with your comments Carl. Thank you.
Sammy -
Hey thanks Paul ... Let me say first off though, I really got lost in your stories. You have a very vivid imagination and you relate them with a very plauseable style. Excellent writing my friend.
Paul, you're kiddin' me!
You've never had a fur burger?
You've never parted the ferns at the start of the Mikiwhaka tunnel?
(Mikiwhaka is a long train tunnel in the S.I.)
Blessed be boyo, you're in for a treat!
Wouldn't ask for one at Mackas though. Not unless you knew the girl serving you ...
Sammy -
Holly sheep shaggers Sammy I needed an interpiter thank god we speak proper english in Aus, Whats a fur burger taste like? I'll have to ask for one at mackas
funny stuff all the best mate
Paul -
Thank you Melonie for taking the time to come by and comment. It really is appreciated, very much.
Take care,
Sammy -
Ito found this one incre4dible and quite amusing a wonderful piece.
Thank you for sharing t5his with the AP group.
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Thanks
(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¤ ¸.•'´)¸.•'´)
~~~Touchof1der~~~
(, .•'(¸.•'´ ¤ `'•.¸)`'•.¸)
Glad that you enjoyed ...
Just hope I'm not accused of plagarism ...
It was fun to write, must admit.
Take every care dear friend,
Sammy -
Oh my greatness Sammy!! This is simply incredible!! Not only have you used several elements from the contest... you have maintained and infused various parts of stories from other contestants. This is fabulous! You are such a talented storyteller Sammy! This must have been quite an undertaking and it all flows so perfectly. Once again... I am in awe of the master storyteller. Thank you again for another great entry. Gosh! I have enjoyed everything I have read here. You guys are all great. Good luck again!
(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¤ ¸.•'´)¸.•'´)
~~~Touchof1der~~~
(, .•'(¸.•'´ ¤ `'•.¸)`'•.¸)
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