Who Am I? ~ Chapter Twenty One

Luca came with me to the caravan. I made him a coffee and sat down with him. 1

“I really thought you hated me, I sent you that letter like a month ago.” I said sipping my tea.2

“After your grandmothers I had to get away. I went and stayed with my dad, I only got back last night. I went over to your house to see if you were back, I wasn’t planning on coming here, I was going to make you sweat it out and talk when you came home. But…” He said his with his voice trailing off.3

“But what?” I pushed.4

“When I got there, Taylor’s Mum was there and she was hysterical. She was yelling at your Mum. I stood out the front listening. She didn’t know I was there at the time.” He started. 5

“What did you hear?” I asked.6

“Well, I know that Taylor is your sister, and Mrs Jenkins was going ballistic at your mother for letting you go.  She said that she should have been more careful, she was an idiot that let you do what you wanted. She said if Taylor found out there would be hell to pay.”7

“And what did Mum say?”8

“Well she said, she knew that she stuffed up, she knew she shouldn’t have let you go. But she didn’t want you being suspicious, she honestly didn’t think that you would find her. She said she thought your Mother was more careful than that.” 9

“My Mother is that doped out on drugs I don’t think she knows what she is doing! That still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”10

“Well after she left I hid and then knocked, your Mum was a mess. She asked me to come up there and make sure that you were okay. She didn’t want you running away.”11

“So that’s it? You’re here cos my Mum asked you to come! Not for me?” I cried, that really hurt.12

“It’s a bit of both Hayles. Come on, you know I love you.” He said. 13

“I will NEVER talk to her again! If I do go back it will be to my own place! I’m not going back there.” I said. 14

“Hayles, don’t be like that. She loves you. It wasn’t just her decision to make. Mrs Jenkins made her go along with the plan!” He tried. 15

“We are human beings! Do you know what it is like to be a plan? Something no one wanted! Not even the junky over there wants me! Mum LIED to me! She made me believe that I had a chance of finding a Mother that loved me! She could have told me the truth! She is supposed to love me!” 16

“Don’t say that Hayles, they want you. Of course they do!” 17

“No they didn’t, she told me herself. They didn’t want anymore kids, they felt sorry for me that’s why they kept me! No one wants me!”18

I cried. 19

He looked at me for a few seconds. “I want you Hayleigh, I want to give us a chance. My whole life I haven’t wanted anyone but you.” He said taking me in his arms.20

“I love you Luca, and I’m sorry for everything that I did to you.”21

“That was then, this is now. It’s what you do now that matters.” 22

I smiled as he leaned in to share our first kiss. Okay so it wasn’t really but to me, this felt like the first time. 23

“I’ll go and hire a caravan, I’m not leaving unless it is with you. I will stay as long as it takes. I’m sorry you had to come here alone.”24

“That was my fault not yours; I’m glad that you are here now. Does Taylor know about this yet?” 25

“I’m not sure really. I don’t think that this will stay a secret long, her Mum was screaming so loud, I think half the town would have heard…Julie’s friend Rachel was there too.”26

“On god! Mouth of the south! She would know by now! Rachel! I hope she is okay!” I gasped. 27

Luca checked into a caravan, the lady at the front desk was nice and helpful to him. What was her problem with me?28

I thanked Rhylan for letting me stay with him, and offered money to him but he wouldn’t take it. I felt a bit slack for leaving him, I hoped that he didn’t feel used, but he seemed okay. Luca didn’t make an effort to talk to him the whole time we were in his caravan. I guess I can understand why though. I knew what the situation must have looked like on the outside; and if I had of walked in on Luca in that situation I would have flipped my lid too.29

I was so happy that Luca was there. I felt horrible for feeling happy under the circumstances but I couldn’t help it. I felt like things would be okay now. No matter what happened, he always made me feel like a stronger person. That’s when I realised that I had to call and talk to Taylor before she found out. I couldn’t let my best friend, my sister find out from the gossip in the town. She deserved to hear the truth from someone that cared about her. 30

I was so scared as to how she was going to react. I mean look how I reacted? If it was anything like that, I wasn’t there to stop her from doing something stupid. Rather than give in to my drama queen tendencies and going through every worse case scenario I could think up; I decided to call. 31

Mrs Jenkins didn’t sound pleased when she realised who it was. 32

“YOU have some nerve calling here Hayleigh! Hasn’t your family done enough?” She yelled. 33

“YOU have some nerve even speaking to me like that! Don’t you dare play the victim here! YOU DID THE WRONG THING! NOT ME! You and my mother LIED to us! So you can just cop it sweet! She is MY family not YOURS so put her on the phone!” I screamed back, I didn’t mean to talk to her like that but she had crossed the line. She had no right in abusing me, when we were the innocent ones in all of it. 34

“She is gone! I don’t know where she is! You’re Mother called her last night! After I had told her not to! She said she wanted to do the right thing! If anything happens to her I will never forgive you!” 35

“Are you listening to yourself? If you hadn’t of lied this wouldn’t be happening! So don’t you DARE put the blame on me all because of your guilty conscious.” I yelled and hung up. I wasn’t going to listen to her run me down.36

The nerve of that woman! She had ALWAYS blamed me when Taylor got in trouble or hurt. Always. Taylor got detention; my fault. Taylor got caught writing on the walls in the girls toilet; I was there my fault. Taylor fell over and hurt her knee while we were running; my fault. 37

I didn’t care how she put it, she could not blame me for this one. 38

Wherever she was I hoped that she would be okay.39