Carl

Carl's back. God damn it! Why did I stop taking the f***ing medicine? I swear, if he doesn't leave me alone... He's shaking his head at me. What does that mean, you psycho clown?! Wait... he's going somewhere...1

I follow him into the next room. It dark in here, it has been ever since I nailed carpet over the windows. I don't want to know what's out there anymore... I stumble over a few weeks worth of garbage. The remains of the only food left. Carl is asking me to stay with him.2

Why do I even listen to him? I can make my own choices, right?3

No... If that were true, I wouldn't be following him here, into the bedroom. I gave up my free will a long time ago.4

Carl is sitting down on my bed. It looks like he wants me to do the same, so I do. It's not like I'm anything but a f***ing puppet anyway, right?5

Oh no. No, no, no, no.6

Carl wants me to get the box. Why does he want this to happen now?7

I get the box, like an obedient dog. I am so f***ing pitiful.8

I open the box and pull out its contents: a handgun, in case I'm not just imagining this stuff.9

I put the barrel in my mouth. It feels as cold as the chills running through me.10

As I pull the trigger, I hear Carl's first- and last- words.11

"Good bye."

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Comments


  • whoudini
    July 20

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    I thought this was very good and well could hear the voices in my head telling me continue to read , continure to read, and this flowed nicely and it was a good starter, Thought

    the wording was nice and it did keep my attention from beginning to the end. Thanks it was nicely done and it was something to build on , like a good foundation, thanks again and looking forward to more of your work.


  • So Strange Greeters member
    July 18

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    Hmm... this was quite abrupt, to say the least. I think it would be alright if you some more emotion into it, like tell why Carl was having the main character kill herself or something like that. Also, I don't like the main character... she's weak and doesn't fight back. But you wrote it well and the grammar was fine, so it's pretty good, but needs a little work done.

    Welcome to the site, antibatman. I hope you enjoy it here as you are here now.


    • antibatman
      July 18
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      Thanks for the advice, the abruptness was actually intended for this story. The general idea was that the narrator had been tormented by Carl for a long time, and no longer had the strength to fight back.