Love Once Found, Is Lost

Love Once Found, Is Lost

Allie and her friends sat in front of Mel’s locker. They were all talking about how much fun they had all had that summer. Well, everyone was except for Allie. She was strangely silent for someone who is always talking.

“So how was your summer Allie?” Ashley asked, turning to Allie with a smile. Mel gave Ashley a sharp nudge in the ribs. “Ow, what was that for?”

“Shut up.” Mel hissed at Ashley under her breath. Both Ashley and Mel looked up at Allie with worry.

“Don’t worry about it guys, it’s okay.” Allie tried to assure them, but she didn’t even convince herself that she could talk about what happened to her that summer. It pained her too much to talk about how Jake had left her.

“Allie, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot about summer.” Ashley tried to apologize, but Allie just shook her head with a fake smile for her friends’ sakes.

“Ashley, I didn’t expect you to remember. It was an innocent question. No harm in that, right?” Allie flashed Ashley another smile. Ashley nodded, but still felt bad on the inside. “Ashley it’s okay. So, Monica, how was your summer? Did you have fun in Poland?”

Everyone turned to Monica, and forgot about Allie for the moment. She liked it that way. She hadn’t been able to get a moment’s peace for a long time. She always seemed to be in the spotlight, and she didn’t like that anymore. Before the summer she loved it, but now too many questions were being asked and too much was expected of her. She just wanted to be alone.

Allie’s eyes glazed over, her mind rewinding to the start of the summer vacation. The other girls just stared at her in wonder. They had never seen Allie act this way before. Allie was the one that was usually so happy and perky. They all wondered where their friend had gone.

* * *

“I love you.” Jake whispered in Allie’s ear. Allie looked up at her boyfriend. Jake looked at her tenderly, brushing a strand of blonde hair out of Allie’s face.

Jake had done this many times. Allie and Jake would be sitting there talking, and Jake would lean over and whisper it in Allie’s ear. Allie blushed every time she heard him say those three words, but she never said those words back. She loved Jake with more than just her entire heart, but there was something holding her back from saying those words back to Jake.

Allie leaned across the bed, and gave Jake a peck on the cheek. Jake was used to not hearing his words returned. He knew that Allie loved him, and it didn’t matter that Allie never said it out loud.

“Why does it have to be so hot out?” Allie asked, resuming her position under the ceiling fan. Jake shrugged, and stared up at the spinning blades. “At least we’re going to the beach tomorrow. That should help us against the heat.”

“Yeah. This humidity is driving me crazy.” Jake looked over at Allie. Allie nodded in agreement. She stood and turned the fan up to high. “I mean it’s too hot to even touch you. I just wish it would rain so hard that it took the heat away.”

“But not before I get golden brown skin.” Allie chuckled. She brought a water bottle carefully to her lips; she didn’t want to spill. Jake shook his head with a wide smile spread across his face.

Allie set down her bottle of water, and rolled over closer to Jake. She was on her stomach, looking down slightly at Jake. She looked deep into Jake’s steel blue eyes.

Jake pulled Allie to him, kissing her gently. Allie melted against her boyfriend. She could’ve stayed there forever. She wished that Jake would hold her the rest of her life.

Unfortunately, Allie’s mom knocked on the door, and came into Allie’s bedroom. Jake and Allie separated so fast that Allie’s mom didn’t notice what she might’ve seen.

“Hey Mrs. Graham.” Jake smiled sweetly at Allie’s mom. “How are you?”

“Oh, Jake, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Lydia?” Allie’s mom smiled back at Jake. Lydia turned to Allie. “When do you want me to drop you two off at the mall?”

“Does the mall have air conditioning?” Allie asked, looking up at her mom.

“I’d imagine so.” Lydia thought for a moment before answering. Allie was off the bed the second her mom finished talking. “Allie?”

“Let’s get going.” Allie looked at both Jake and Lydia. They both gave her a look that told her that they she was insane. “What? This heat is killing me.”

“If you’re that hot, I can drop you off at Aunt Caroline’s pool instead.” Lydia offered. Allie looked at Jake, who shrugged.

“Okay, we’ll go.” Allie told Lydia. “We’ll be down in a minute.”

Lydia nodded and left Allie’s bedroom. Allie sat down on the bed, and looked at Jake expectantly. She noticed what her mom didn’t; he seemed hesitant about going swimming.

“What’s wrong?” Allie asked. Jake shrugged, and Allie set him with an annoyed look. “Oh, don’t give me that. What is wrong with you?”

“Your aunt hates me.” Jake finally admitted to Allie the reason for his behaviour. Allie gave him a confused look. “You know she does. She hated the fact that you’re dating a guy like me.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about Aunt Caroline. She’s in China for two weeks.” Allie explained. “She’s doing a piece on the population and pollution crisis over there. So, do you still want to stay here and do nothing?”

“No way. Let’s go swimming.” Jake smiled over at Allie. Allie looked happy, and that’s all that mattered to Jake.

While Lydia drove Jake over to his house, Allie changed into her bikini. She grabbed a towel, and went downstairs. She grabbed two cans of pop from the fridge, and went outside into the boiling heat to wait for her mom and Jake to return.

Once Lydia and Jake were back, they all drove over to Allie’s aunt’s place. Allie and Jake jumped into the pool. They were so sick of the heat that they didn’t care that the pool was only sixty degrees.

Lydia laughed at the two as she pulled out of the driveway, leaving the teenagers alone to swim. Lydia would’ve joined the two teens, but she had errands that needed to be run.

Allie got out of the pool, and got on the diving board. She did a perfect dive into the refreshing water. Jake clapped when she surfaced.

“That was actually good.” Jake smiled at her. Allie raised an eyebrow.

“Actually? What is that supposed to mean?” Allie looked at him as though he was crazy. “That dive was perfect. What is wrong with you? Do you have water in your eyes?”

“No, I’m just saying that I can do better.” Jake smirked at Allie. Allie splashed him with water. Jake shook his head, splattering water everywhere, but since they were in a pool it didn’t matter. “What was that for?”

“You and I both know that you can not do a better dive than me.” Allie told Jake. “I took three years of diving. How many did you take? Oh that’s right, none.”

“Hey, no need to rub it in.” Jake mocked sadness. Allie swam over to him and kissed him deeply. “That’s more like it.”

Allie got out of the pool, and got two floating lounge chairs. She put them in the pool, and got on one, leaving the other one for Jake. Jake swam to get his, but Allie pushed it away. Jake sighed and swam after it.

“So, when do you start your job?” Jake asked once he was on his lounge chair.

Allie looked over at Jake, “They wanted me to start today, but I told them that I couldn’t. After that they told me that they contact me at a more convenient time for me. So, in other words, I was fired before I even started.”

“That’s a little cliché.” Jake said, taking a sip of his pop. Allie stuck her tongue out at him. “But seriously, that sucks.”

“When are you going to get a job?” Allie asked, looking over the tops of her sunglasses at Jake. She, too, took a sip of her pop. “Are you thinking about getting one, Mr. Orwall?”

“My mom has been pestering me about getting a job this summer.” Jake told Allie. “I was thinking about putting in an application at Surf ‘N’ Sun swimwear shop.”

“Does that mean that you’ll have employee discount? You could but me stuff there.” Allie joked. Surf ‘N’ Sun was her favourite store.

“Not that I don’t buy you a lot of stuff already.” Jake smiled over at Allie. “I’m pretty sure that I spend more money on you than anyone else, myself included.”

“I know, but you can’t blame me for that.” Allie told Jake. He raised his eyebrows as if to tell her to elaborate. “I’ve told you a thousand times that you don’t have to buy me so much stuff.”

“True, but I love to spoil you rotten.” Jake nodded at what Allie said. Jake floated to the edge of the pool, and set down his drink. He got off his inflatable lounge chair.

Jake swam over to Allie on the other side of the pool. He kissed her, setting down her pop as he did so. Allie leaned over, closer to Jake, making it easier for them to kiss.

Suddenly, Jake tipped the chair, making Allie fall in. When Allie surfaced, she was ready for revenge. Her need for revenge deepened when she heard Jake laughing.

“That wasn’t nice.” Allie glared at Jake in mock anger. Jake swam over to her, and tried to kiss her. “Oh, I don’t think so. After that little stunt you just pulled, do you really think I would let you kiss me?”

Jake shrugged and followed her around the pool. Allie always stayed just out of reach. Jake smiled evilly at Allie, waiting for the opportune moment to lunge.

Soon, Jake had Allie cornered. Just as Jake was about to go for Allie, Allie hopped out of the pool. She smirked down at Jake, and went to get her towel.

As she dried herself off, Allie watched Jake get out of the pool, and come towards her. Allie stepped up to him, and he ducked his head to kiss her. Just as their lips met, Allie pushed Jake into the water. Jake fell back, and did a back-flop. Allie winced when she heard the sound Jake’s back made when it hit the water.

“I’m so sorry.” Allie said when Jake got out of the pool clutching his back. Allie went to him to make sure that he was all right.

“You’re going to be the death of me some day.” Jake said, sitting down on the edge of a regular lounge chair.

“Don’t say that.” Allie sat down beside Jake on the chair. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. “I’m so sorry.”

Allie kissed Jake’s shoulder, waiting for a reaction to her words. Jake turned his head and looked at her lovingly. She lifted her head and kissed him. Jake leaned back, pulling Allie on top of him. Allie ran her hands over his warm, sun-kissed skin. Jake held her close with an arm around her waist.

“How was that for an apology?” Allie asked when they had stopped kissing. Jake smiled up at her, and kissed her again. Allie smiled against his lips. She could not dream of a better way to spend her summer than like this with Jake.

* * *

Allie sat at the pool, staring out over the water, which was covered with leaves. No one had cleaned out the pool since Jake had left. Allie refused to go in and enjoy the refreshing water, and she was the one that used the pool the most. Allie was the only reason why her Aunt Caroline had even bought the house with the pool.

“Allie, can I get you anything?” Allie’s Aunt Caroline asked, coming up behind Allie. Allie shook her head, and continued to stare out at the pool. “Why don’t you go in? The water should be warm.”

Allie still didn’t take her eyes off the water. Her gaze followed a single leaf as it skittered across the water, the wind guiding it around the pool. She heard her Aunt Caroline shift her weight before leaving the pool area to go back into the house.

Allie curled up in a ball on the same lounge chair she and Jake had made out on two months ago. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and fell on to the cushion under her. That was just the beginning. Soon sobs were shaking Allie’s shoulders, and tears were pouring out of her eyes. She missed Jake, her Jake, so much.

Allie eventually got up, and walked home. She didn’t tell her aunt where she was going; she didn’t have to. Aunt Caroline would assume she was going home, but she always assumed right.

As Allie walked home, she thought of stopping by Jake’s parent’s house, but decided against it. It would be too hard for her to be in the Orwall house with Jake’s family without Jake there. She would be so uncomfortable sitting with Jake’s parents.

“Allie, where have you been?” Lydia asked, looking up when she heard her daughter come in the back door. “Your dad and I have been worried about you. Why didn’t you call one of us?”

“I’ve been around.” Allie shrugged, and headed for the stairs. That had been her answer since Jake left her. Allie would disappear without a word, and suddenly show up later. Lydia stepped in her way, demanding a better answer. “I was at Aunt Caroline’s house. Now can you move? I have homework that needs to be done, and unless you want me to fail, then I suggest you get out of the way.”

Lydia, satisfied with Allie’s answer, stepped out of the way. Allie ascended the stairs slowly with her backpack in hand, and disappeared from Lydia’s view. Lydia sighed deeply.

“Was that Allie?” Allie’s dad, Ron asked, coming out of the living room. Lydia nodded, and sighed even deeper. “Still the same?”

“I don’t know if she’ll ever be the normal again.” Lydia looked up at her husband.

“Losing Jake was a big deal for her. Heck we all miss him being here. It will take awhile for everything to return to normal.” Ron said, hugging his wife to his chest.

“I hope you’re right.” Lydia said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Meanwhile upstairs, Allie was lying on her bed, staring up at her ceiling. Above her bed, taped to the sky blue ceiling was a drawn picture of Jake. Fresh tears began to fall from Allie’s eyes.

“Why did you leave me?” Allie cried, reaching for the box of tissues on her bedside table. She blew her nose loudly. She curled up in a ball, hugging the box of tissues to her chest. “Why?”

* * *

“Will you stop moving? How am I suppose to draw you if you keep moving your head?” Allie complained, tilting Jake’s head back to its original position.

“I don’t know why you insist on drawing me.” Jake complained, trying to look at Allie, but she held his head so he couldn’t. “I mean, what’s the big deal?”

“Will you stop complaining?” Allie laughed. “If you would stop moving, this would be over a lot quicker. Since I’ve already started, I need the same lighting, so stop moving.”

“Okay, fine, but you owe me big time for this.” Jake grumbled. He held his head in the same place that Allie made him. “You are so lucky that I love you.”

“I know.” Allie leaned in, and gave Jake a quick kiss. She went back to drawing. “Now hold still.”

Jake grumbled a few times, but Allie knew that he was just soaking up all the attention. Allie concentrated hard on trying to capture that cockiness in his eyes. It was as though Jake knew that Allie couldn’t resist giving him attention.

Soon the lines began to take form. Jake was coming alive on paper. The shading was perfect, and Allie was truly happy with the eyes she had worked so hard on. Every now and then Allie would look up at Jake just to make sure that the picture and the real Jake looked the same.

“Jake.” Allie announced, cutting off one of Jake’s grumbles. Jake looked at her expectantly. “I’m done.”

“Can I see it?” Jake asked, trying to look over the top of Allie’s sketchbook. Allie shook her head, and hugged the book to her chest.

“Nope, I can’t let you do that.” Allie shook her head in absolute refusal. Jake gave her puppy dog eyes, and yet she still refused. “You’ll make fun of me. I know you will.”

“I promise that I won’t.” Jake said, leaning over and whispering it in Allie’s ear. Allie shook her head. “Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.”

“Fine.” Allie whispered back, giving Jake a peck on the cheek. She held out her sketchbook, letting Jake see the drawing of him.

Jake took the sketchbook from Allie’s hands, and looked at it closer. A shocked look flashed across his face. “That’s amazing. It actually looks so much like me. This is so good.”

Allie blushed a deep shade of red, and was thankful for the breeze; it cooled her skin so she wasn’t as red as she would’ve been. Allie couldn’t meet Jake’s gaze. Instead she ran her hands through the tall meadow grass, and looked off at the distant hills.

Allie felt Jake cup her chin, making her look up at him. He kissed her gently on the lips. Allie closed her eyes slowly, making the kiss seem so much more magical.

Allie knew the second that Jake pulled away from her, but she kept her eyes closed. She breathed in deep long breaths. Jake’s face remained close to her face, and she could smell his coconut scent. It was like his signature smell.

“It’s a really good picture, and I’m not lying about that.” Jake whispered, resting his forehead on Allie’s. Allie still had her eyes closed, but she nodded. “I love you.”

Allie’s eyes opened slowly to look deep into Jake’s eyes. She saw love in there, and wanted so bad to say it back. All she could do, though, was give Jake a peck on the lips. She knew that Jake knew that she loved him, but she also knew that Jake wanted her to say it back.

Allie sighed and snuggled into Jake’s chest. Jake wrapped his arms around her, and they laid back in the long grass.

“Look at that cloud. It looks like a fish.” Allie said, pointing at the cloud that was floating across the sky above them. Allie laughed. “A flying fish, that is.”

Jake laughed at Allie. “You are a strange one.”

“I know, but you like it.” Allie stuck her tongue out at Jake. Jake shrugged, but couldn’t deny it.

“What can I say?” Jake shrugged again. Allie tilted her head up and smiled at Jake.

They fell into a comfortable silence, happy with each other. They were also happy that they were in each other’s arms.

After awhile they started to point out cloud shapes. There were fish, dogs, horses, dragons, and many other animals. Allie and Jake were having fun acting like kids again. How they wished that they still were children with the simple lives they had.

“Anyway, I have to get going. Deb will kill me if I don’t muck out the stalls today.” Allie sat up, and looked down at Jake. “With Tori gone away for a few days, Deb is short a few hands. I’m her last resort.”

“Okay.” Jake nodded, and sat up beside Allie. “I’ll walk you there since it isn’t too far out of my way.”

Allie smiled gratefully at Jake. She knew that Jake didn’t like horses with an exception to Allie’s horse Delta, and Penny, who Allie was leasing. Jake hated going near the barn. Allie also knew that Jake would do anything to be near her as long as he could.

Allie took his hand, and the two of them left the meadow. Allie would, every once in a while, smile up at Jake appreciatively. She wished that she could’ve stayed back in the meadow with Jake. She wished that Jake would hold her forever, and never let go. She wished that it was just Jake and her in the world, but she knew that none of these wishes would ever come true. Forever was never going to come, Jake would have to let her go at some point, and Jake and her are never going to the only ones in the world.

“I’ll call you when I’m done.” Allie told Jake when they got to the barn. Jake kissed her, and left her alone at the end of the driveway. Allie watched him go, and felt her heart go after him.

Allie turned, regrettably, to face the barn. Why had she ever started taking riding lessons? She didn’t like them at all. She wouldn’t have been there that if she hadn’t taken up horse back riding. On the other hand if Allie hadn’t started taking lessons then she never would have bought Delta or started riding Penny.

Allie put her sketchbook on top of her tack box, and grabbed a pitchfork off of the hook in the equipment room. She wasn’t old enough to drive the tractor; otherwise she would’ve been through her chores a lot sooner.

Allie rushed through her barn chores, probably doing a bad job, just so she could go hang out with Jake for the rest of the day. Allie wiped her hands on her jeans and closed the barn door.

“Do you want to ride?” Deb appeared out of nowhere and asked. Deb was the owner of the barn, and the riding instructor. “You can ride Penny if you’re afraid to ride Delta so soon.”

“Isn’t it too hot to ride?” Allie asked. She had been considering a ride on Delta, but she decided against it due to the heat. “I was going to ride, but it’s a little too hot for the old man and me.”

“Okay, but you should hop on Delta soon.” Deb said, turning to go to the storage room. “The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get back on.”

“I promise I will when the heat breaks.” Allie told Deb. Deb nodded, coming out of the storage room. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to leave now. I’ve finished up all the chores, so I’m done here.”

Deb nodded, and shooed Allie out of the barn. Allie took out her cell phone and dialled Jake’s number.

“Hi Jake. I’m done.” Allie told Jake happily. “I’ll be over in half an hour.”

“Okay, I’ll be on the back porch, so just come around.” Jake told Allie. Allie nodded, and hung up after saying good-bye.

Allie walked home, and had a quick shower. She blew her hair dry, and got dressed in clean clothes that weren’t covered in dirt and horsehair.

“Going over to see Jake?” Lydia asked when she saw Allie appear in the kitchen door. Allie nodded, and Lydia got up from the table. “I’ve been meaning to give Mrs. Orwall my salsa recipe since the Canada Day party.”

“Oh yeah, she’s been asking about it.” Allie took the slip of paper from Lydia, and stuffed it in her pocket. “I’m heading over now, but I don’t know what time I’ll be home again. I won’t be here for dinner though.”

Lydia nodded. She knew that she wasn’t to expect Allie home for dinner. It was summer vacation, and Allie had nothing keeping her home. There was no homework or assignments to be finished, and there was no curfew to obey.

Allie quickly got over to Jake’s house. She was about to knock on the door when she remembered what Jake had told her to do. She jumped off the porch, and went around to the back of the house where she heard voices.

Jake’s dog, Kane, bounded across the backyard and jumped up at Allie. Kane placed both of his front paws on Allie’s chest. Allie rubbed affectionately behind Kane’s ears. Kane thought that this was the perfect moment to slobber all over Allie’s face.

“Kane! Here boy!” Mr. Orwall called from the back porch. Kane dropped to the ground, but didn’t leave Allie’s side. “Hi Allie.”

“Hey Mr. Orwall.” Allie smiled at Jake’s dad, and walked over to the porch. Kane followed obediently. “Is Jake home?”

“He’s around here somewhere.” Mr. Orwall looked around. Jake had been out there a few minutes ago, but Mr. Orwall didn’t hear him go inside. “Do you want a burger? I can make it the way you like them.”

“You know I can’t resist your cooking, Mr. Orwall.” Allie smiled at her boyfriend’s dad. Mr. Orwall made the best hamburgers around. He added different spices, and Allie loved it that way.

“Oh please, call me Hugh.” Mr. Orwall told Allie. Allie smiled again and sat down at the porch table. Kane sat beside. “I see that Kane has attached himself to you yet again.”

“He is a creature of habit.” Jake said, appearing in the doorway. He smiled at Allie. “Dad, mom needs to know where you put the extra salad dressing.”

“She always needs something.” Hugh smiled. Allie knew that he loved his wife, but also that he loved joking around. He disappeared into the house wiht one last smile.

“Hi.” Jake kissed Allie. Allie smiled up at him as he slipped into the seat next to Allie. “I told my dad to put another burger on the grill, because you were coming over.”

“You’re always thinking of me.” Allie looked over tenderly at Jake. Jake smiled sheepishly at Allie. “It looks like it’s going to rain soon.”

“Hopefully it helps to break this stupid heat.” Jake said, looking up at the overcast sky. “Cross your fingers.”

“Hi Allie.” Ellen came out of the house with a platter piled high with dinner things. Allie got up quickly, and took the platter from Ellen. “Thanks love.”

“No problem.” Allie set the platter down on the table. Allie reached into her pocket and handed Ellen the salsa that Lydia had sent over. “Mom finally remembered about the salsa.”

“Oh well, tell Lydia that I say thank you.” Ellen smiled at Allie. Allie started to set the table. “Oh, you don’t have to do that, Allie.”

“But you know you can’t stop me.” Allie laughed, continuing to set the table. “You never could stop me. It’s like my contribution to this family.”

“Allie!” Two little, blonde girls cried, running out of the house. Allie squatted and hugged both of the little girls.

“How was the ranch?” Allie asked, picking up a girl under each arm. She sat down with a blonde on each knee.

“It was fun.” The first blonde twin, Nicole said, grinning wildly up at Allie. “Grandma taught us how to ride.”

“Popcorn was so cute.” The second twin, Michelle said. Allie smiled down at them both.

“Barley was cuter.” Nicole argued. Allie chuckled, and shook her head.

“Nicole, Michelle, what did I tell you?” Ellen said with a warning tone. Nicole and Michelle crawled off of Allie’s lap, and went off with Kane. Ellen nodded approvingly, and finished setting the table for Allie.

“Okay. Dinner’s ready.” Hugh announced, coming out of the house with a bowl of salad in his hands.

Ellen relieved him of the salad, and Hugh went to get the burgers off the barbecue. Nicole and Michelle climbed into the chairs across from Allie and Jake. Hugh set a plate of hamburgers in the centre of the table, and sat down.

“So, what did you guys do today?” Ellen asked Jake and Allie as she put some salad on Nicole’s plate. “Did anything exciting happen?”

“Allie drew a really good picture of me.” Jake smiled at Allie, and bite into his cheeseburger. Allie blushed, and looked down at her plate. “Oh, come on, do you still think that it was bad?”

“It wasn’t one of my best pictures, but then again we can’t blame me for that.” Allie teased. Jake stuck his tongue out at Allie. Allie turned to Ellen. “Jake wouldn’t stop moving.”

“He always was a fidgety one.” Ellen laughed. Allie winked at Jake, and bite into her hamburger.

“You are so lucky.” Jake glared at Allie in mock anger. Allie waved Jake’s anger away, and kissed him on the cheek.

“Don’t be such a sour puss.” Allie joked. Everyone laughed.

* * *

“Allie!” Mel called, running down the hall to catch up with her friend. “Allie, wait up.”

“Hi Mel.” Allie said cheerfully. She was a completely different person than yesterday. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to say sorry for what happened yesterday.” Mel told Allie. Allie gave her a confused look. “For what Ashley said. She meant well.”

Allie’s face dropped. She turned and walked away. She didn’t want to put up with that right then. She couldn’t do it, and she didn’t have to do it.

“Allie! Allie!” Mel called desperately. Allie just kept walking. “Allie!”

“I can’t talk about this right now.” Allie whispered, a tear dripping from her eye. She turned a corner and ran into someone. “I’m sorry.”

“Allie?” The boy asked. Allie looked up and saw Dean, a boy who had been trying to date her since the start of grade four. “What’s wrong?”

“Dean, I know I promised to give you a shot, but I can’t.” Allie said, wiping at her tears. They embarrassed her. “Jake is still there. He will always be there, and I can’t get over him for you. I just can’t get over the way things ended. I know that people don’t expect me to, but I have to at least forgive myself before I can move on. I’m sorry Dean.”

“Allie, if I came on too strong it was only because I care about you.” Dean said, stepping toward Allie. “It’s okay if Jake is still in your heart. That’s understandable. I didn’t think that you were going to just forget about him and jump into my arms. I’ll wait for you.”

“Dean, no, I can’t.” Allie turned and walked away. She wouldn’t betray Jake so soon. Just because it was over, didn’t mean that Allie would give up on Jake.

“Allie!” Dean called out. Mel’s voice joined his when she caught up to him. Allie just ignored them and walked away.

* * *

“Allie!” Jake called out to Allie as she walked away from him. He walked after her. “Allie!”

“I can’t…I won’t listen to this.” Allie said over her shoulder at Jake. She wouldn’t let herself listen to what Jake had to say.

“Will you at least let me explain?” Jake asked, following her down the street. People starting to stare at them, but Jake just ignored them. He didn’t care about what other people thought of him; he only cared about Allie right now.

“When were you going to tell me, Jake? Huh?” Allie turned fiercely on Jake. Tears were streaming down her face. “Or were you just going to disappear without a trace?”

“I was going to tell you closer to the time.” Jake admitted. “I’ll still see you every weekend, I promise.”

“That’s not the same as seeing you every day.” Allie sobbed. She was now crying hysterically. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably from her sobs. “Why would they make you move to another school?”

“Saint Mary’s School for the Arts is a good place for me to hone my musical talents.” Jake said, placing his hands on Allie’s shoulders. Allie looked up at him in confusion.

“That sounded rehearsed. Is that what your parents told you?” Allie asked, brushing at her eyes. “How could you leave me? Get away from me. If you’re leaving me at the end of summer, why continue what we are doing? Why not end it now?”

Allie pulled away from Jake, and took off down the street at a run. She didn’t know where she was running to, but she couldn’t stop until she got as far away from Jake as possible.

When she got to the woods, she collapsed in a fit of tears. She leaned up against a tree, and cried her eyes out. How could Jake be leaving her for a private school? How could he lie to her and say that he would see her every weekend? They both knew that he would be lucky to get away from school once a month.

Jake had followed her, just like she knew he would. He sat down next to her, and tried to wrap his arm around her, but she pulled away.

“Allie, I’m sorry, but the school is a good one.” Jake told Allie. He didn’t know it, but he was making it worse for himself. “My parents have always wanted me to go there, but I’ve always put it off.”

“Then why didn’t you put it off again?” Allie asked, looking up at Jake. “Why are you giving in to them now?”

“Because there is no more years left in high school to use as an excuse.” Jake explained. “Grade twelve is my last chance to go to that school. Plus you have to be in a certain age group to get into the musical part of the school. This is my last chance.”

“If you wanted to go, then why didn’t you go before when your parents told you to the first time?” Allie asked. She wasn’t sad anymore; she was furious. She jumped to her feet. “Is it me? All those times you said you loved me, was that you lying to me? Was that just a way to keep me near you until you decided that you were done with me? Until you decided it was time to end it? Well I won’t let you.”

“Allie, you know it’s not like that.” Jake told Allie, standing up next to her. Allie glared at him, her lips pursed.

“Jake, you can’t leave me.” Allie began to cry again. She leaned her forehead on Jake’s chest. Jake ran his hands lightly up and down Allie’s bare arms. “I can’t lose you.”

“You’re not going to.” Jake kissed the top of Allie’s head. “Just because I’m going away doesn’t mean that I’ll be gone forever. I’ll try to see you every weekend, but if that doesn’t work then I’ll see you on your birthday, and all the other holidays.”

“Promise me.” Allie looked up at Jake, tears glistening in her eyes. Jake kissed her as if to promise he would be with her forever.

“I promise.” Jake whispered when they pulled apart. He kept his face close to Allie’s. “Now let’s get you home.”

Allie nodded, and let herself be led away. Jake wrapped his arm around Allie’s shoulders as they walked down the path. Allie leaned in closer to Jake; breathing in deeply so that the only thing she could smell for a couple of minutes was coconut.

Allie stopped and turned to Jake, “I didn’t mean what I said back there. I was just scared, sad, and angry. I just thought that you should know that.”

“I know.” Jake seemed so understanding; too understanding. Allie had to question Jake’s understanding; it didn’t make sense. She remained silent, though. She didn’t want to shatter the loving happiness that they had just achieved.

Allie and Jake continued on their way. Allie dropped her confusion. She wasn’t going to mention it, but it still confused her. She really didn’t want to get into a fight so soon after the other one.

“By the way.” Jake said, breaking a ten-minute silence. Allie looked up at him expectantly. “My mom said that we could go to the cottage this weekend if it was okay with your parents.”

“Sounds great.” Allie smiled. She had been up to the Orwall’s cottage many times over the three and a half years that Jake and her had been dating. Some of those visits were just with Jake. Her parents knew that nothing would happen hormone wise. They trusted Jake with their lives, and knew that he would act responsibly. “My parents will say okay. They always do.”

“Great, then it’s settled.” Jake looked down happily at Allie. “We’ll have fun.”

“When don’t we?” Allie laughed, taking Jake’s hand. She winked up at him.

* * *

“How was school?” Lydia asked when Allie entered the house. Allie glanced up at her mom through her dripping hair. It had started to pour a few minutes earlier. “Do have any homework?”

“It sucked, and yeah I have stupid homework.” Allie grumbled as she kicked off her shoes. She trudged through the kitchen, and trampled up the stairs to her bedroom trailing wet marks after her.

She slammed the door closed, and flopped down on her window seat. Allie picked up a pad of paper and began to write. She wrote about all the good times she had shared with Jake. She wrote about the time Jake had surprised her with a picnic in the park where he gave her a white gold chain for their two year anniversary. She wrote about the time she tried to teach Jake some Spanish. It wasn’t a complete waste of time. He had learned how to say I love you in Spanish. There was also the time when Allie had been sick, and Jake came over with soup and cough medicine. They had only been dating a week when that happened, and Allie thought it was the sweetest thing on earth. Jake had of course gotten sick after that, but he said it was worth it.

When Allie was done, she wiped at the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she had been writing. She hadn’t noticed that she was crying until she was done writing and looked at her pad of paper. It was covered with little wet spots from where her tears had fallen on it.

Allie set the paper down, and brought her knees to her chest. She stared out the window. The rain blurred her vision of the street. The only thing she could actually see well was a streetlight that had come on when the rain started.

* * *

“I can’t believe it has rained for the past two days.” Allie complained. Jake and her were up at the cottage. It had rained all the days they had been up there. Allie was getting a little annoyed with the weather. “This sucks.”

“Well, look on the bright side.” Jake said, pouring himself a glass of apple juice. “We’ve certainly caught up with all the new releases. That can be on the success list. It can be right under us cuddling a lot.”

“Oh, you are so right.” Allie smiled, and snuggled up to Jake when he sat down. She took his glass from him, and sipped at the juice. “Since it’s raining yet again, what do you want to do?”

“We need to go grocery shopping.” Jake told Allie. Allie nodded, but made no move to get up. “Well, to go shopping we both have to get up. That’s only the first step, though.”

“Aw, but Jakey, I want to be in your arms.” Allie whined, pouting up at Jake. “Wouldn’t you rather starve and be with me, than eat and force me to get up and leave you?”

“I think I’ll take my chances.” Jake joked. Allie grumbled and glared at Jake as she sat up. Jake got up. “You coming with? You can stay here if you want.”

“No, I’ll come and torture you at the grocery store.” Allie laughed getting up off the couch. “It’s one of my favourite past times.”

Jake shook his head, and went into the kitchen to grab his car keys. Allie followed, and wrapped her arms around Jake’s waist. She sighed and leaned her head against his back.

“Tell me you love me.” Allie whispered, tears springing to her eyes. She willed her tears not to fall out of her eyes. Jake turned around to face her when he felt a tear on his shirt.

“What’s wrong?” Jake looked deep into Allie’s eyes. Allie looked away, and hated herself for doing so. Jake gave her a confused look.

“You’re leaving me in a month and a half.” Allie said, still not looking at Jake. The only thing Allie wanted to do at that moment was tell Jake how much she loved him. She stepped closer to him hugging him tightly. She buried her face in his chest. “Please, just tell me that you do.”

“You know I love you.” Jake kissed the top of Allie’s head. Allie looked up at Jake. She stood up on her tiptoes, and kissed him. “I love you.”

Allie kissed him again. After the kiss, Allie stepped away grabbing the car keys. She wiped her eyes, and pasted a smile on her face.

“We should get going.” Allie said, going to the door. She slipped her flip-flops on, and looked up a Jake. “You coming. I’m not the one with the money. It’s not like I’m going to steal the groceries.”

Jake sighed and walked over, “Okay, but I’m really not made of money, so you’re going to have to steal some of the groceries. You’d better bring a jacket with big pockets.”

“You only wish that your girlfriend would become a felon.” Allie laughed, grabbing her denim jacket off the hook next to the door. Jake smiled slyly at her. “Yeah, I bet that just turns you on.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” Jake joked, opening the door.

Both the teens ran to the car. Allie danced at the passenger door while Jake fumbled with the keys. Jake laughed when he finally got the doors unlocked. He looked up at Allie, and laughed even harder.

Allie glared at him once they were safe from the rain. Her hair was soaked and dripping. Her jacket didn’t help her much; it was drenched right through. Allie glared even harder when Jake laughed at her again.

“I love you.” Jake gave her a peck after he was done laughing. The kiss wiped the glare right from Allie’s face.

Jake turned on the car, and they drove away. It wouldn’t take them long to get to the grocery store. It was about ten minutes away from the Orwall’s cottage. It was very handy for grocery shopping.

“What do you need here anyway?” Allie asked as they entered the store. The rain had let up a bit, but it was still coming down pretty hard.

“Dinner.” Jake answered absentmindedly, consulting a list. Allie took the list from Jake. “Hey! I was reading that!”

“Yeah, but if you didn’t notice, you almost ran into that person back there. I’ll read off the list to you.” Allie explained. Jake nodded. “You’ll be endangering everyone else if you read the list.”

“Hey!” Jake protested. Allie smiled at Jake, and shrugged. Jake wrapped an arm around Allie’s shoulder, pulling her close. He whispered in Allie’s ear. “You had better watch it, or I’ll get you when you’re sleeping.”

“Was that a threat?” Allie asked, accusingly. Jake shrugged. Allie smiled and kissed him.

They bought dinner quickly. It didn’t cost too much, so Allie didn’t have to steal anything. Jake was having fun making fun of Allie’s reading. She had stumbled over a few words, and blamed her stumbles on Jake’s writing.

“I can’t believe how hard it’s raining.” Allie said as they pulled into the driveway at the Orwall’s. Jake turned off the car. “Do you have the keys ready this time?”

“Of course.” Jake jingled the house keys in front of Allie’s face. Allie smiled approvingly.

They got out of the car, and ran to the door. Jake quickly unlocked the door, and they went in the house.

Jake and Allie went about their business of putting the groceries away. They left the pork chops out on the counter so that they could thaw out. Allie turned to Jake when they were down putting all the food away. She smiled at him, and stepped toward him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

Suddenly a lust came over both of them. Jake picked Allie up, and Allie wrapped her legs around Jake’s waist. They kissed with a fiery passion none could match.

Jake walked them both into his room, holding the kiss the whole time. He set Allie down on the bed. He pulled away when Allie pulled her shirt over her head.

“Are you sure?” Jake asked just to make sure. Allie nodded, and Jake kissed her again. He couldn’t say no to that. He pulled back again. “Are you positive?”

“Yes, now shut up before I change my mind.” Allie wrapped her arms around Jake’s neck, pulling him to her.

Allie ran her hands up Jake’s shirt, feeling his muscles ripple under her hands. She pulled his shirt over his head, and kissed his shoulder. She gently bite his ear, and let her lips linger there at his ear lobe.

Jake wished that Allie had said she loved him before then, but he that Allie did love him. He just had to give her time to voice her love.

* * *

Allie woke in a cold sweat. She sat up quickly in bed. She had to stop thinking about Jake, but she knew that that was damn near impossible. She would never get over Jake.

She threw the covers off herself, and got up. She was fortunate that it was the weekend. She didn’t have to go to school, and deal with the fact that Jake wasn’t there with her.

Allie grabbed her riding stuff, and threw on her riding pants. She stuffed her boots into her riding bag, and left the room. Allie quickly scribbled a note for her parents, explaining that she was out at the barn if she was needed. After she stuck the note on the fridge, Allie left the house.

It didn’t take her long to get to the barn. Since it was Saturday, no one was mucking out the stalls. Someone—most likely Tori—had fed the horses. That was the only thing on Saturdays that needed to be done.

Allie took Delta out of his stall, and did a careful job of brushing him off. She hadn’t been to the barn to ride Delta since before Jake went away. Delta was really dusty, but content to be with Allie again.

Allie was soon riding around the sand ring. Delta seemed energetic, but Allie took no notice. She was used to Penny who was a retired steeplechaser. Penny always had a streak of energy in her.

“Ready for a trot, baby boy?” Allie asked Delta. Delta threw his head into the air, telling Allie that he was ready for anything that Allie wanted him to do.

Allie cued Delta to trot. Delta smoothed out after a few strides. He hadn’t been ridden for weeks, so he was a little stiff. Allie promised that she would take good care to warm him up a lot before attempting the canter.

* * *

“Can’t we go faster?” Jake asked. He was a top Delta. He looked over at Allie and Penny. Allie shook her head. “Why not?”

“Because the horses aren’t warmed up yet.” Allie explained. “And will you calm down? You’re making Delta nervous.”

“Sorry, but the last time I was on Delta, I fell off.” Jake told Allie. He adjusted the reins, tightening his grip.

“You can’t even use that as an excuse.” Allie turned Penny on to the forest path. “It was your fault. You didn’t have your feet in the stirrups, and you hit him with the crop.”

“You told me to.” Jake accused. Allie raised an eyebrow. Jake nodded, trying to convince Allie that she had indeed told him to hit Delta.

“No I didn’t. I told you to tap him lightly on the flank.” Allie corrected. “Anyway, that was when you were first learning. You’ve ridden many times since then. You’re more experienced now.”

“True, and this time I don’t have a crop.” Jake smiled over at Allie. Allie nodded. “You’re right, I am better at riding now. I’m almost as good as you.”

“Don’t push your luck.” Allie laughed. She was one of the best riders at the barn. There was no possible way that Jake was almost as good as her when adults who had been riding twice as long as Jake weren’t even close to Allie’s level.

“I know, just joking.” Jake laughed. Delta pulled on the reins. “Can we get going? Delta wants to.”

“No, he just wants his head. You have him on a tight rein.” Allie pointed out. “He doesn’t like it. Just let the reins out a bit.”

Jake did as he was told. As he let out the reins, he prepared for Delta to bolt. Delta nickered appreciatively, though, instead of taking off. Jake warily relaxed if it was possible for Jake to relax while on a horse.

Allie laughed and shook her head. Jake glared at her, and she stuck her tongue out at him. Allie let Penny have her head, and waved at Jake.

“Bye, bye.” Allie said right before Penny took off down the path. Jake gently urged Delta on.

The two raced down the path, Allie staying in the lead for the duration of the race. Penny had always had an edge that Delta could never find. Penny was bred to run, unlike Delta.

Allie pulled up when they got to the backfield. Jake was lucky that Delta did whatever Penny did, otherwise he would’ve had a field day trying to pull Delta to a stop.

“We’ll eat here.” Allie announced, dismounting. Jake did the same, and the both led their horses over to a tree and tied them up. Both the horses immediately started to eat the long grass.

“So did you apply at Surf ‘N’ Sun?” Allie asked after taking a bite out of her baloney sandwich. She was trying to not look into Jake’s eyes. After what they did, Allie had been acting weird.

“No, not yet, but I think my mom might be dropping off my application while she’s at the mall today.” Jake explained. Allie nodded, looking over at the horses. Jake noticed that she was trying to avoid him. “Was it a mistake?”

“Was what a mistake?” Allie glanced at Jake, but couldn’t look at him for too long. “Oh that. No, it was great.”

“Then why are you acting so strange and distracted?” Jake asked accusingly. “Why are you acting like it was a mistake?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just it was a big deal for me.” Allie looked down at her hands. “But you’ve done it before, so it wasn’t as important for you.”

“Of course it was.” Jake lifted Allie’s chin so that she was looking at him. “Don’t think that just because I’ve had sex before, it doesn’t make it a big deal for us. I’ve never had sex with someone I love. That other girl I was pressured into sleeping with.”

“I know, but still.” Allie searched Jake’s face for something, anything that would tell her how he felt. “How am I supposed to know that you weren’t comparing me with her the whole time?”

“I would never do that.” Jake insisted, taking Allie’s hand in his own. “I would never compare you with her. But if it’s any consolation, you were so much better than her.”

“You’re just saying that so that I won’t be so doubtful.” Allie said, looking away. Jake shook his head, and leaned in. He gave her a soft, tender kiss. The kiss wasn’t passionate, it wasn’t needy or desperate, and it wasn’t required. The kiss was perfect.

Allie laid back in the grass, pulling Jake on top of her. They continued to kiss, but with more passion. Jake ran his hand up the outside of Allie’s thigh, and past her hip ad waist to rest on her ribcage. Allie wrapped her arms around Jake’s neck, and pulled him closer to deepen the kisses.

Jake pulled back when he heard and felt Allie fumble with his belt. He looked at her in alarm, wondering how they had gotten to that point so fast.

Allie looked up at him innocently. It was as though she hadn’t known what she was doing up to that point.

“We probably shouldn’t. I’m sorry for bringing it up. I just couldn’t help myself, with the way you touched me.” Allie explained. Jake nodded, and let Allie do his belt back up. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jake shook his head. Allie gave him a confused look. “Why should you be sorry when it was both of us who brought it upon ourselves?”

“Because I’m the one who implied it.” Allie said, but stopped herself from saying more. Had she really been the one that implied it? Jake did kind of help her along to that decision. “Maybe instead of having sex, we could just kiss.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jake leaned over her again and kissed her.

By the time they were done in the backfield, it was four o’clock. Allie and packed up and rode back to the barn.

“How was it?” Deb asked Allie and Jake when they entered the barn, leading their horses. “The paths weren’t too muddy, were they?”

“Nope, they’re dry as a bone.” Allie said, untacking Penny and hooking her in a pair of crossties. “You could take the kids out there. It’ll be fine.”

“Okay, thanks.” Deb smiled, and walked away. She had to go teach a lesson.

Jake and Allie quickly untacked and brushed off Penny and Delta. They made sure that the horses had cooled off before putting them in their stalls.

“Ready?” Jake asked when they were done. Allie nodded and took his hand.

As they walked home, they were both pretty silent. Allie was happy with the silence, though. She was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to talk. Jake was fine with the silence.

“My mom has invited you and your family over for dinner on Sunday.” Allie told Jake once they got to town. Jake nodded.

“I’ll tell them, and we’ll be there.” Jake smiled at Allie. Allie nodded and stopped. They were at her house.

“I don’t want to be home alone, do you want to come in?” Allie asked, noting that both of the cars were gone. She would be forced to sit alone in the big house, unless Jake agreed to join her. “Come on, Jake, it’s an offer you know you can’t refuse.”

“Okay, okay, you’re right.” Jake’s smiled widened. Allie flashed him a smile, and took his hand again. “How could I ever refuse the woman I love?”

“I know. The world would end the day you refused me.” Allie chuckled as they walked to the front door. Allie searched her pockets for her keys. She pulled them out, and unlocked the door.

“Do you want something to drink, or you could have a shower while I make lemonade or something.” Allie offered, going to the kitchen. Jake followed her.

“Do you really think I need to have a shower?” Jake asked. Allie looked over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, but what about you? Don’t you need to have a shower?”

“Nope, I had one before we left for the barn.” Allie smirked. Jake opened his mouth to respond, but Allie cut him off. “And we both know that you didn’t have one yet today, so don’t even try to use that card on me.”

“The thought never crossed my mind.” Jake lied. Allie let it go, though. She didn’t want to get in a fight; that had happened too much lately.

“Please, go have a shower.” Allie pleaded. Jake kissed her cheek and took off for the bathroom. Allie shook her head, and turned to the fridge. “What to make?”

“She heard the shower start as she poured some water into a jug. She smiled at the way Jake was so obedient. It was like he was trained to listen to her. It made her laugh.

* * *

“You should’ve taken him for a longer ride.” Tori said, approaching Allie. Allie was sipping on some lemonade, watching Delta in the pasture. “He could use the exercise.”

“I didn’t want to over do it. I haven’t ridden in a long time.” Allie looked over at Tori. “We’re both out of shape, but we’ll work that out quick enough.”

Tori nodded, and the two girls sat in silence. They watched the horses in the paddock eat. Tori had no idea how to start a conversation with Allie. It was too complicated.

“Well, I’ll see you around.” Allie got up and left. Tori nodded, and let her friend go.

Allie walked slowly back to town. She was walking through the shopping part of town when she remembered that Lydia wanted her to stop by the Surf ‘N’ Sun for some self-tanner.

Allie didn’t want to go into the store. She didn’t understand why Lydia needed self-tanner; she was tan enough as it was. She didn’t need to be darker; it would only make her look like a fake tanner.

Allie stepped into the store, and immediately coconut invaded her nose. The smell was everywhere. Allie welcomed the scent. It made her feel like Jake still lived just down the street from her.

“Can I help you?” A worker asked, coming up to Allie. Allie nodded.

“Could you tell me where the self-tanner is?” Allie asked politely. The girl nodded, and pointed down the fourth aisle. “Thanks.”

Allie found the tanner with no problem, but she didn’t want to leave quite yet. Everything had changed since Jake had left; that was the last time Allie was in the Surf ‘N’ Sun.

Allie brought the bottle of self-tanner to the counter along with a bottle of coconut-flavoured sunscreen. She set the products down on the counter top.

Allie was out of the store quickly, and speeding for home. She took out the bottle of sunscreen and smelt it. She stopped and looked down at the sidewalk. There written in the cement were the words I promise.

* * *

“Here, smell this.” Allie held a bottle of coconut sunscreen up to Jake’s nose. Jake took a sniff. “Smells good, doesn’t it?”

“I use the same stuff.” Jake shrugged, and continued to stock the shelves. Jake was now working at the Surf ‘N’ Sun.

“I can’t believe you got a job here. I would give anything to be able to work here.” Allie looked around for another thing to look at.

“Even me?” Jake looked up at Allie from where he was kneeling. “You’d give me up just for a discount?”

“Well, anything except you of course. Wasn’t that a given?” Allie winked at Jake with a smile on her face. She meandered down the aisle, looking at all the different products. No two products had the same smell.

“This is the best stuff here.” Jake handed Allie a bottle of tanner that smelt of cinnamon. Allie loved the smell of cinnamon; it reminded her of Jake.

“I love this smell.” Allie breathed in deeply. When she was done, she replaced the cap and put it on the shelf. “When do you get off work?”

“Not for another two hours.” Jake said, glancing at his watch. Allie sighed with exasperation. She just wanted to have Jake to herself. She hated being in public places. She was more of a secluded person.

“I was thinking that we could go to the movies tonight.” Allie suggested as she walked down the aisle.

“Or we could just stay in tonight and watch a movie at my house.” Jake made a suggestion of his own.

“That’s more my style.” Allie winked and wrapped her arms around Jake’s waist. She gave him a peck. “Sorry, that wasn’t very professional was it?”

“Not really, but that’s not to say that I didn’t like it.” Jake smiled slyly. Allie kissed him again.

“I’ll see you later tonight.” Allie stepped back. “I’ll be here promptly at four.”

“Sounds good.” Jake smiled, and watched his girlfriend leave the store. It was getting harder and harder for him to be separated from Allie.

Jake went about his work. He stocked the shelves, and organized the clothes on to the racks. He helped people find the right sizes and would make sure that they left Surf ‘N’ Sun store happy.

Allie kept true to her word. She was at the store at four. Jake was happy to be getting off work early. His boss was pretty cool that way.

“So was it busy?” Allie asked, entwining her fingers with his. “I hope you’re not too tired.”

“It wasn’t as busy as it sometimes is.” Jake explained. Allie nodded her understanding. “So what movie are we watching tonight?”

“I was thinking about something with a happy ending. I can’t stand sad endings.” Allie told Jake. “Or scary movies for that matter. You of all people know I can’t watch scary movies.”

“I know you can’t.” Jake laughed. Allie glared up at him with mock anger. Jake wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll rent a happy ending.”

“Good.” Allie beamed away in Jake’s hold. “By the way, I might be late picking you up tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment.”

“No worries.” Jake nodded. He knew what it was like to have appointments get in the way. He had had mono a few years back, and hadn’t been able to see Allie for almost a month due to doctor appointments.

“Would you marry me?” Allie asked after a moment. Jake looked at her in puzzlement and shock. He hadn’t expected Allie to ask that. In fact, Allie hadn’t expected herself to blurt that out.

“Of course I will, once we’re old enough.” Jake stopped Allie, and turned her to him. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders. “I promise that I will marry you.”

“How do I know you will keep that promise?” Allie challenged, actually doubting Jake for once.

Jake looked around, and saw a block of drying cement. He took Allie’s hand, and led her over to the block in the sidewalk. He knelt and wrote I Promise in the cement with his finger.

“Get over here.” Allie demanded. Jake obeyed, and came to stand in front of Allie. Allie wrapped both her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

They separated, but still held each other’s hands. They rented a movie that sounded like it had a happy ending. Jake’s parents weren’t home, so they went there.

“Do you want to eat before we watch it?” Jake asked, leading the way into the kitchen. “I could make you some pasta if you want.”

“Sounds great.” Allie’s stomach grumbled as she sat down at the kitchen table. “I think my stomach agrees. Do you want me to make the sauce?”

“No, you just sit still, and let me do the cooking. You don’t have to do anything.” Jake smiled at her as he got out the bag of pasta noodles. “Let me make you a dinner to remember.”

“Well then I’ll just have to set the table.” Allie got up determinedly. “Don’t even try to stop me. So, where are we eating?”

“You choose, since you’re so set on setting the table.” Jake chuckled, turning on the stove. He laughed when he saw the undecided look flash across Allie’s face.

“Fine then.” Allie got two plates out of the cupboard, and opened the back door. “We’ll be eating outside.”

Dinner was served on the back porch. After setting the table, Allie made a salad. So they had pasta and Caesar salad. Jake made a creamy cheese sauce to go with the pasta.

“This is so good.” Allie said after taking a mouthful. Jake smiled triumphantly. “Orgasmic.”

“That good, eh?” Jake laughed, raising his eyebrows. Allie nodded, and looked across the table at Jake. She nodded again.

They ate quickly, and cleaned the dishes up. They put the left over salad and pasta in the fridge. Allie grabbed the movie, and they went downstairs to the recreation room.

“I hope this works.” Jake whispered, pushing the video into the VCR. Sometimes the VCR didn’t work too well.

Jake sat on the couch next to Allie when it started to play the movie. Allie snuggled up to him, and Jake wrapped his arm around Allie’s body.

Half way through the movie, Allie fell asleep on Jake’s lap. It wasn’t that the movie was boring; it was just that she was tired from staying up too late. Jake didn’t mind her falling asleep on him. She had done it numerous times before.

When the movie ended with its happy ending, Jake carefully gathered Allie into his arms and carried up two flights of stairs to his bedroom. He carefully and gently tucked Allie in.

“Good night, my love.” Jake kissed Allie’s forehead, and left the room. He grabbed a pillow on way out, closing the door softly behind him.

“We’re home.” Ellen announced, entering the house with Hugh and the twins in tow. Jake pressed a finger to lips.

“Allie’s sleeping.” Jake explained. Ellen nodded. “She fell asleep during the movie.”

“She’s sleeping over?” Ellen asked, with doubt in her voice.

“I’ll sleep in the basement, if you’re worried about that.” Jake told his parents, lifting his pillow as proof.

Hugh laid a hand lightly on Ellen’s shoulder. She nodded, and went upstairs taking the girls with her.

“In the kitchen.” Hugh said, pointing to the kitchen door. Jake sighed, and turned to go to the kitchen. “Sit.”

“What did I do this time?” Jake asked, sitting down across from his dad. He knew that he was going to get lectured.

“Have you told her about your new school?” Hugh asked, looking into Jake’s eyes. He didn’t seem too happy.

“Of course I have. She took it bad at first, but now she seems to understand.” Jake explained. “That’s not what this is all about, is it?”

“Your mother and I are worried that you two are getting too close. We’re worried that you won’t be able to let go of Allie when the time comes.” Hugh told Jake. “I know that you think you’ll be able to come home every weekend, but it just won’t happen. Ellen and I won’t have time to get you and bring you home.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Jake asked, his head full of confusing thoughts that his dad had put there.

“Will you be able to let go of Allie when the time comes?” Hugh asked, getting to the point. There was no need to dance around it anymore; he had to tell Jake what Ellen and himself really thought.

“I won’t have to. I’ll still be able to see her. It’s not like I’m leaving never to return.” Jake was getting angry. “I don’t have to let Allie go.”

“She’ll only distract you.” Hugh said as if defending his reason for telling Jake all this. “I see it every day, Jake. She gets more and more distracting to you.”

“I love her!” Jake stood up. He was beyond angry now. “If you can see so much, how come you haven’t noticed that she has become a distraction—as you so put it—to me because of the fact that I love her? No, I am not ready to let her go, but I also don’t have to!”

Jake stormed off to his bedroom upstairs. He didn’t care that his parents didn’t approve of him and Allie sleeping in the same bed, he needed her.

Jake pulled off his shirt and jeans so he was only in his boxers. He crawled into bed next to Allie, and wrapped an arm around her waist. Allie mumbled something in her sleep, and snuggled up against Jake.

“What’s wrong?” Allie asked sleepily. She had heard the whole thing. Well all of it except actual words. She had heard muffled voices, and knew that Jake and his dad had gotten in a fight.

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing’s wrong.” Jake insisted in a hushed voice. Allie nodded with a sigh, and went back to sleep.

Jake stayed awake for a while longer. He couldn’t sleep knowing that his parents might walk in at any moment. He didn’t want them to wake up Allie, especially with their yelling about how he has to let her go in the fall. He would be so mad at them if they woke Allie up.

It was hours before Jake fell asleep. When he finally did fall asleep, it was dreamless and relaxing. He was happy that Allie was by his side. This fact only made him sleep better.

Sun streamed across Allie’s face the next morning. She sat up, and looked around groggily. She didn’t recognize the room she was in until she heard Jake wake up beside her. She laid down again.

“Good morning.” Allie said with a smile. Jake wrapped her up with his arms, and kissed her.

“Good morning to you, too.” Jake smiled tiredly. Allie kissed Jake again.

“So what was all that yelling about last night?” Allie asked. Jake gave her a blank look. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You can tell me anything, and you know you can. I’m a big girl now.”

“We were talking about you.” Jake said after a lot of hesitation. “We were talking about how I love you, and will never let you go.”

“Your parents think you should, don’t they?” Allie asked with dismay. Jake nodded his head. “Well, what did you say?”

“I told them that even though I’m leaving in September that that is no reason why I should break it off with you.” Jake told Allie about the night before. “Don’t worry about it, though. It’s nothing against you.”

“I know, but I still wish you hadn’t yelled at them over me like that.” Allie said. She didn’t like talking about this. She kissed him, and sat up again. “So how was the movie?”

“You would’ve liked the ending.” Jake smiled up at Allie. “It was a happy one.”

“Well that’s good.” Allie sighed. “I guess we’ll have to watch it again so I can see the end. Sorry about sleeping over. I’m sure that your parents aren’t too pleased.”

“I don’t get it. They’ll let us stay alone at the cottage for days, but they won’t let you sleep up in my room when I wasn’t even planning on spending the night with you.” Jake sat up. “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, up at the cottage, we promise to sleep in different rooms.” Allie explained. It seemed logical. Up until this summer they had kept their word, and slept in different rooms. “Here, though, we have never had a sleepover, so your parents are nervous. I’m sure that with time they will trust us just like they learned to trust us with the cottage. Give it time.”

“You seem pretty confident.” Jake noted, raising an eyebrow.

“What can I say? I’m a pretty confident girl.” Allie said with a chuckle. “By the way, what time is it?”

“Six thirty.” Jake answered, glancing at his alarm clock.

“I should get going. I don’t want my parents to find me gone.” Allie got up. She grabbed one of Jake’s sweaters from his closet. “I’m borrowing this.”

“No problem.” Jake got up. He hugged and kissed Allie. “So, I’ll see you after your dentist appointment?”

“Of course.” Allie smiled over her shoulder, and left the room.

She jogged home, and snuck up to her room. She got changed into her pyjamas, and pulled on Jake’s sweater. She smelt the sweater, and sighed when she smelt the familiar cinnamon scent. Allie crawled under her covers, and fell asleep.

* * *

“Hey Allie.” Mal said when she called Allie’s house.

“Hey Mel. What’s up?” Allie was happy to hear a friendly voice. She hadn’t talked to her parents in a few days.

“Well, a bunch of the girls are coming over tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to come.” Mel explained. “We’re going to watch a bunch of movies, and eat popcorn. Plus, we are, of course, going to gossip. That comes naturally, though.”

“I’ll be there. What time?” Allie asked. She was more than happy to get out of the house for at least a few hours. “Is it a sleepover?”

“Yeah, and everyone’s going to be there at seven.” Mel told Allie.

“I’ll be there.” Allie smiled to herself.

A few minutes later, Allie hung up. She went into the living room, and finished cleaning. She was being paid to clean the house. It was her only income now a day.

“Allie! I’m home!” Lydia called out when she got home from shopping with Aunt Caroline. She had been gone for almost an entire day.

“I’m going out tonight.” Allie appeared in the doorway. Lydia jumped in surprise. She wasn’t prepared for Allie to be there so quick. “Mel called and asked if I wanted to sleepover at her house. I’ll be at Mel’s tonight if you need me.”

“Fine by me.” Lydia kept her happiness contained until after Allie left the room. She was so happy that Allie was finally getting out of the house. Allie hadn’t really been anywhere except to school for the past few days.

At seven Allie headed over to Mel’s house, which was just down the street from Allie’s house. Allie had brought over all her sleeping gear. She hadn’t been to one of Mel’s sleepovers since just after Jake left.

“Hey Allie.” Mel answered the door with a big smile on her face. She stepped out of the way, and let Allie in. “We’re sleeping in the basement tonight.”

Allie and Mel went to the basement where Ashley and Leanna were already waiting. They smiled at Allie when they saw her.

“Hey Allie.” Leanna smiled up at her friend. Allie set her stuff down and sat in a vacant recliner. “So what movie are we watching first?”

“Let’s watch a horror movie first.” Ashley sounded excited. Everyone knew that Ashley’s favourite genre for movies was horror.

“Guys, I can’t watch horror movies. I mean, look at how much sleep I lost over watching a horror movie last time.” Mel pointed out to the group.

“Hey guys.” Alex Grossi—known as Grossi—came down the stairs to join the girls. She sat on the floor near Allie’s chair.

“Hey Grossi. What kind of movie do you want to watch?” Mel asked, turning to Grossi. She ignored Ashley’s bantering about how horror movies were the only movies worth watching.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” Grossi shrugged. Mel turned back to Leanna and Ashley to debate some more. Grossi and Allie looked at each other, and laughed. Watching the other three argue was pretty funny.

The debate went on for about ten more minutes. Grossi and Allie stayed out of it. They finally decided on a movie, and Mel popped it into the DVD player.

Mel quickly made popcorn and separated the bag into two bowls. She gave one of the bowls to Allie for that side of the room, and kept one for her side of the room.

The movie ended up being a sad one about a boy fighting for his life against cancer. Everyone in the room cried except Allie. Allie went into a daze, so she wasn’t paying really attention to the movie.

The night passed by like that. The girls watched three movies, and Allie didn’t remember a single thing from any of them.

“So Ashley how’s the BF situation?” Leanna asked once the beds and sleeping arrangements were made.

“I don’t even know if we’re still going out. He hasn’t talked to me in days.” Ashley responded, crawling into her sleeping bag.

Allie laid down and shut her eyes, trying to block out everyone else. All she wanted them to do was not talk about boyfriends. She didn’t expect them to actually do that, though.

“That’s rough.” Leanna said. Ashley nodded and sighed. “I wish I had a boyfriend.”

“Not if he is like Shawn.” Ashley grumbled.

“I want someone that I’m meant for. Someone to love me.” Leanna said.

“No you don’t, Leanna.” Allie said, trying to hold back her tears. Everyone looked over at Allie. Allie didn’t sit up, but continued. “They just hurt you in the end. You think that you’re meant for each other, and suddenly one day they rip out your heart while it’s still beating.”

“Allie, Jake didn’t want to hurt you.” Mel said gently. She didn’t want Allie to cry. “He didn’t mean to do what he did to you.”

“How do you know that?” Allie asked, sitting up. She looked around the darkened room. “I deserved it. It’s my fault that he left me.”

Allie got up and went to the bathroom. The other girls knew not to bother. All Allie needed was space. In time she would forgive herself, and everything would be better for her.

* * *

“Why haven’t you talked to me?” Allie demanded. She was standing on Jake’s front porch. “We have never gone this long without talking to each other. Why haven’t you called me in a week?”

“I’ve been really busy with work.” Jake told Allie. Allie raised an eyebrow, and crossed her arms across her chest.

“Since when has work stopped you from calling me?” Allie asked. She was a little disappointed that Jake couldn’t come up with a better excuse. “You really need to plan out your lies a little better to make that actually convincing.”

“I’m sorry.” Jake said sincerely. “It’s just that apparently our parents have been talking, and last time I called you your parents told me that you wanted space.”

“They what?” Allie raised her voice. “How could they? I never asked for space. Why would they tell you that?”

“I think that we should cool for a couple of days.” Jake couldn’t meet Allie’s eyes.

“Jake, no, not you too.” Allie stepped toward him. “We can’t give in. We can’t let the parents win. We have to stick together and beat this. I don’t want you to give me space.”

“I don’t want to either, but they’ll make us either way.” Jake still wouldn’t look at Allie. He was too ashamed of what he was saying. Allie placed both her hands on his face, forcing him to look at her. “I won’t let them win, but we have to give in for a few days.”

“Why? What’s happening?” Allie asked out of curiosity. She let go of his face, and tilted her head.

“I’m going to the ranch with my family.” Jake told Allie.

“Okay, but when you get back we are going on a date.” Allie said. Jake nodded as if that was a given. “We can even double with Ashley and Shawn.”

“Sounds good.” Jake smiled at Allie.

“Jake, time to pack.” Ellen appeared at the front door. Jake nodded over his shoulder at his mom.

“I’ll be in, in a few.” Jake told his mom. Ellen nodded, and glanced at Allie with a menacing glare. Jake caught the look, and looked at Allie. His look said sorry for Ellen.

“You have to go, I understand.” Allie kissed him. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

Jake nodded and they kissed once more before he went into the house. Allie sighed, and walked back home.

The next few days passed slowly. Allie was anxious to see Jake again. Ashley and Shawn were excited for their double date with Jake and Allie.

When the day finally came, Allie’s parents tried to keep her busy with chores, but Allie whipped through them. Nothing could keep her at home that night not even God himself.

“Hello.” Allie answered the phone. She had been waiting for a call from Jake.

“Hey.” Allie could hear the smile on Jake’s voice. He sounded relieved that it was Allie that answered the phone, and not her parents. He didn’t want to have to talk to them. “So, what time should I pick you up?”

“Seven.” Allie answered. “Ash and Shawn are going to meet us at the restaurant.”

“Okay, I’ll see you at seven then.” Jake sounded happy. He was excited to see Allie. He had really missed her. Allie nodded even though Jake couldn’t see it. “I love you.”

They got off the phone, and Allie flew up the stairs to go get changed. She knew exactly what she was going to wear that night. She had picked it out the night before. She had to make sure that it was the perfect outfit.

When Jake came to pick her up at seven, he was stunned to see his girlfriend. Allie wore a black satin halter-top and white pants. She had let her hair loose, so it fell to her shoulders in soft golden waves. Jake thought that she was the most beautiful thing on earth.

“Shall we?” Allie asked with a smile. She was content with Jake’s reaction to her looks. She had been hoping to have this effect.

“We shall.” Jake offered Allie his arm. She took it with a giggle.

“We’re leaving.” Allie called out to her parents.

Jake and Allie left the house. Jake opened the car door for Allie, and shut it behind her. They drove across town to a fancy restaurant. In fact, it was the only nice restaurant in town.

“Hey guys.” Allie greeted Ashley and Shawn. Ashley’s face brightened when she saw Allie and Jake. It was obvious to Allie and Jake that the couple had been fighting.

The two couples went into the restaurant and got their reserved table. The waitress made sure that the table was clean, and led them to the table.

“You look nice, Allie.” Ashley complimented Allie, who smiled her thanks.

“So do you.” Allie smiled. With Ashley’s attention somewhere else, Allie noticed that Shawn was staring at one of the waitresses’ butts.

“Shawn.” Ashley sounded angry when she noticed what her boyfriend was doing. She glared at him.

“What?” Shawn asked. He made it sound like her wasn’t doing anything wrong. Ashley glared at him. “What did I do this time?”

“Maybe you’d rather date her.” Ashley pointed at the waitress. Shawn gave her a confused look. Ashley grabbed his arm, and looked at Allie and Jake. “Excuse us.”

Allie nodded, and watched Ashley pull Shawn outside. They were probably going to rip into each other out there. They always did.

“He really needs to learn.” Allie said, sipping on her water. Jake nodded. “You would never do that to me, would you?”

“No I really wouldn’t.” Jake agreed.

“Promise me we’ll never turn out like those two.” Allie reached for Jake’s hand. He gently squeezed her hand.

“I promise.” Jake looked deep into Allie’s eyes. Allie leaned her forehead on Jake’s. They kissed. “I promise.”

* * *

“Allie!” Lydia called up the stairs. “Get down here, please! You have a visitor!”

Allie left her room, and slowly made her way down the stairs and into the living room. She brightened up when she saw who was standing in front of the fireplace.

“Riley!” Allie bounded across the room, and jumped into her brother’s arms. She hugged him tightly.

“Hey.” Riley swung her in a circle. Lydia stood off to the side and mouthed thank you to Riley.

“What are you doing here?” Allie asked when Riley set her down. “How long are you staying for?”

“I’m here for three days.” Riley answered. Allie’s face got brighter. “And I heard that someone hasn’t played basketball for a long time. If you keep that up you’ll never get on the team this year.”

“I know, but it’s been a little rough around here.” Allie’s face flashed with sadness, but a smile took over quick enough. “Are we going to play?”

“You bet” Riley nodded. “I’ll give you a minute to get changed, and then we’ll be off.”

“Okay.” Allie ran up the stairs. She was happy that her brother was home even if it was only for a few days.

Riley and Allie left the house, and went to the public basketball courts. Riley had brought a basketball with him from Brock University.

“So are you trying out for the team this year?” Riley asked as they walked toward the courts.

“I don’t know it I will.” Allie sounded doubtful. “It’s been pretty hard these past few weeks, and playing basketball is something Jake and I did together. Without him, I don’t know if I can play.”

“Jake would want you to play ball.” Riley said, looking down at his little sister. “Have you asked him?”

“The question should really be, have I talked to him since he left.” Allie corrected. “The last time I talked to him was about a week after he left. It was getting too hard.”

“Understandable.” Riley nodded. He dribbled the ball a few times. “You should go see him. He would like that, I bet.”

“What would I say, though? ‘Hi Jake, sorry about what happened’. I’m sure that’ll go over well.” Allie took the ball from Riley.

“True.’ Riley nodded. He let Allie on to the court ahead of him. “First one to twenty-one.”

“I’m so going to kick your bunny.” Allie said with confidence. She shifted the ball from hand to hand, between her legs.

“Bring it on.” Riley challenged.

The two of them went at it. Allie spun and ducked, keeping just out of Riley’s reach. It wasn’t hard to keep below Riley’s reach; he was 6”7.

* * *

“Come on, Jake. You can play better than that.” Allie egged Jake on. Jake made an attempt to score a basket, but failed. “Weak!”

“Well maybe if you would stop, I would actually play well.” Jake went after the ball. Allie knew that he joking.

“You’ll never play as good as me. It just won’t happen.” Allie teased. She took the ball from Jake. “Watch this.”

Allie kept her eyes on Jake. She lined up the shot, and she jumped into the air. The ball soared toward the basket. All the while Allie never took her gaze off Jake.

“I have to admit, I am good.” Allie smiled cockily after the ball swished through the basketball hoop. Jake shook his head, but couldn’t keep the smile that had crept up on to his face from showing through.

“That was a pretty good shot.” Jake said, clapping his hands.

“Pretty good? It was amazing.” Allie laughed with astonishment. She couldn’t believe that Jake didn’t think her shot was amazingly good. “Okay, if you think that that shot was only pretty good, let’s see a better one.”

“Fine.” Jake put up his hands, and caught the ball in his hands with ease. He turned his back to the basket. “Watch this shot.”

Allie crossed her arms across her chest. There was no way he was going to sink the shot. It was too hard. Only the Globetrotters could sink a shot like that.

Jake lined up, and sunk a basket. Allie stared at him in disbelief. How could he have made that shot? They weren’t that good at basketball. Sure they could pick up a ball, but a shot like that was one in a million.

“Now that was amazing, if I do say so myself.” Jake said. Allie looked at him still in shock.

“It really was.” Allie couldn’t have agreed more. She retrieved the ball, and looked at her watch. “Dinner will be soon. We got to go.”

Jake and Allie left the court, and walked back to Allie’s house. The Orwalls and the Grahams were having dinner together. This time, though, the room was tension-filled instead of filled with laughter.

“You two are just in time.” Lydia said when she saw Jake and Allie enter the house. “How was basketball?”

“Fun.” Allie said, putting the ball away before joining Jake and the parents in the dining room.

“That’s good.” Ellen nodded, looking at both Jake and Allie with a suspicious look. Allie glanced at Jake nervously. Ellen was still mad at Allie and Jake for the stunt they pulled with the sleepover.

Dinner went by slowly. There was barely any talking, and when there was, it was only a few words. Allie and Jake got some pretty weird looks from their parents. The looks were full of anger directed at the teens for disobeying them.

“Well, thank you for having us over, but we really need to get these girls to bed.” Ellen said when dinner was over. Nicole and Michelle looked tiredly up at their parents, and yawned.

“Thanks for coming.” Lydia smiled at Ellen. Ron and Hugh shook hands.

Jake hung back when his parents left. Allie and him went to the basement to watch the same movie they attempted to watch a week ago.

“This time, I’m rested.” Allie joked, flopping down on the couch. She handed Jake a can of pop.

“Too bad I’m not.” Jake yawned, opening the can. Allie laughed.

“Don’t expect me to carry me up to my room. I’m not that strong.” Allie told Jake with a chuckle. “I’m leaving you right here if you fall asleep.

“I knew that I shouldn’t expect much from you.” Jake stuck his tongue out at Allie.

“Hey!” Allie protested, playfully punching Jake’s arm. “A girl could take offence to that.”

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing that you’re not all a girl.” Jake laughed. Allie hit him hard in the shoulder.

“Explain to me then, why are you dating me?” Allie asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure that you’re not with me because I’m not completely a girl.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Jake defended himself. Allie nodded slowly.

“Sure you didn’t.” Allie said sarcastically. Jake laughed. Allie continued. “I know exactly what you meant.”

“Okay, so tell me, Miss I-Know-Everything, what did I mean?” Jake challenged. Allie shrugged.

“I don’t think you want me saying it out loud.” Allie laughed evilly.

“Is that right?” Jake leaned toward Allie with a look in his eyes that told Allie that he was going to do something. Allie nodded, a huge grin on her face. “Is that so?”

Jake began to tickle Allie. She burst into fits of laughter. Jake’s fingers mercilessly tickled Allie’s ribs. Allie fell back into the couch.

“Jake! Stop!” Allie squealed, trying to fend off Jake’s prying fingers, “All right! I give!”

Jake still didn’t stop. He was getting too much joy from watching his girlfriend squirm, and ask for mercy.

Allie managed to get away from Jake for only a few short seconds. In those precious seconds, Allie turned the tables. She managed to tickle Jake, rendering him helpless. She straddled his hips.

“Okay, so what were you saying about me being part boy?” Allie asked, sitting back. She wrapped her arms tightly around her sides so that Jake wouldn’t be tempted to tickle her.

“I take that back.” Jake chuckled. “Well, I don’t take it back, but I meant it only as a joke.”

“I know.” Allie smiled at him. Allie kissed Jake, and got off him. They sat back, Jake wrapping his arms around Allie’s waist. Allie pressed play and the movie started.

* * *

“Riley, I’m thinking about visiting Jake.” Allie said at breakfast. Lydia and Ron had to go to work, so Allie and Riley were eating alone.

“When?” Riley asked, eating a spoonful of bran cereal. He paused, and looked up at his younger sister.

“I don’t know. Soon I guess.” Allie said after a moment of thought. “I can’t go alone, though. Will you drop me off when I decide?”

“Of course I will.” Riley told Allie. An unexplained sadness flashed through his eyes. “I’ll do anything to get you there. You need to go see him.”

“The way it ended…it shouldn’t have ended like that.” Allie looked into her bowl of cereal as if looking for an answer to some unasked question. “I wish I had more time. I need to see him.”

“I can take you today, if you want.” Riley offered, understanding the importance of Allie’s visitation with Jake. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, but I have to make one stop before we head over to Jake’s.” Allie said. Riley noticed that an envelope was sticking out of Allie’s pocket. “I need to go and see Tori.”

“Okay, fine by me.” Riley nodded. Allie smiled gratefully at her brother. She knew that without him she would not be going to see Jake.

“By the way I just want you to drop me off. I could be a long time talking to him.” Allie explained, getting up. She brought her dishes to the sink. “You could come home and pack or something. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

The two of them got ready for the half-an-hour drive. Allie collected her thoughts on the drive to the barn. The next few hours were going to the hardest for Allie.

“Allie, what are you doing here?” Tori asked when she saw Allie get out of Riley’s SUV.

“Is there somewhere we can talk in private?” Allie asked, walking up to Tori. Tori nodded, and gestured to the tack room.

“I want you to take really good care of him.” Allie said once they were safely in the tack room. She turned to Tori and handed her an envelope.

“What’s this?” Tori looked down at the envelope in her hands. Something about it made her nervous.

“It’s a letter I want you to read when I’m gone.” Allie told Tori. “I’m not coming back Tori. It’s too hard to come here anymore. I’ll still pay the board fee, but I just won’t be riding.”

“Are you sure about this?” Tori asked. She didn’t want Allie to stop coming to Delta. “Delta will miss you.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t see him anymore. I’m here to say goodbye, and then it is over.” Allie said. She opened the tack room door. “You can use him in lessons, and please ride him.”

“I will.” Tori nodded, assuring Allie that she would be leaving Delta in good hands. Tori left the barn with younger sister Carrie, leaving Allie to say good-bye.

“Hey boy.” Allie walked up to Delta’s stall. She opened the door. Delta nuzzled her shoulder, and nibbled on the end of her hair. “I’m gonna miss you, baby boy.”

She hugged Delta’s neck, and her horse nickered lovingly. Allie stroked his neck, smoothing down Delta’s ruffled hair. Tears sprang to her eyes.

“I love you.” Allie whispered through her silent sobs. Delta’s ears pricked forward when he heard her voice. Allie buried her face in Delta’s mane.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Riley asked Tori. They both glanced at Allie and Delta.

“It’s debatable.” Tori shrugged. “Did you know that she is leaving the barn and Delta?”

“I figured as much when she told me that wanted me stop by here.” Riley said. He leaned against his car. “We’re going to see Jake, you know.”

“So she’s finally gotten up enough courage to go see him?” Tori asked, leaning beside Riley. She crossed her arms. Riley nodded. “Good, she needs to get some stuff off her shoulders.”

“She needs to say sorry.” Riley looked down at the gravel driveway. “He left before she could. She needs more time with him.”

They looked down the aisle at Allie. Allie collapsed outside the stall. Delta nuzzled her shoulder. This only made Allie cry more. She still managed to pat his nose.

“How can she be leaving him?” Tori asked, staring at Delta and Allie. Riley shook his head. Neither of them understood Allie’s motives, but they had to respect them.

* * *

“Allie we need to talk.” Jake sounded distant as he led Allie to a picnic table. They were in the park, sitting the river.

“What is it?” Allie sat on the top of the table. She smiled at Jake, who stood between her knees. Jake placed his hands on Allie’s kneecaps. She looked deep into his blue eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Promise me you won’t run away this time.” Jake requested, looking deeper into Allie’s eyes. She gave him a confused look. He had never asked her to do anything like that before. “Please, promise me.”

“I promise. Now what is it?” Allie asked with a nervous chuckle. She knew that she didn’t want to hear what Jake had to say. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“Not one bit.” Jake shook his head. Allie nodded briskly, and tried to look brave. “Okay? I’m leaving in two days for school.”

“What? But it’s only the start of August!” Allie pulled away from Jake. “School doesn’t start for another month! What could you possibly do there for a month?”

“My parents want me to check out the music program.” Jake explained. “There is this camp thing at St. Mary’s during August, and my parents thought it would be a good idea to go to camp.”

“Are you coming back before school starts?” Allie asked even though she knew the answer. Jake shook his head, avoiding Allie’s gaze. “Besides that, since when do you listen to your parents? Two weeks ago you argued with them over us. What ever happened to them not winning?”

“I love music.” Jake admitted. Allie raised her eyebrows.

“More than you love me?” Allie asked, looking at the picnic table.

“Of course not.” Jake insisted, stepping closer to Allie. He took her hands, and gave them a gentle squeeze.

“Then you’re going to have to come up with a better excuse.” Allie glared at Jake. “Isn’t it bad enough that you are already leaving me for ten months?”

“I’m sorry, but there is nothing I can do.” Jake was starting to sound desperate. He didn’t want Allie mad at him, but he wanted to go to music camp.

“So this is it, I guess.” Allie looked up at Jake, tears glistening in her eyes. “This is good-bye, then.”

“Good-bye? What are you talking about?” It was Jake’s turn to be confused. “I never said I was leaving you for good.”

“I know, but we both know that you will leave and never look back.” Allie brushed at her tears. “You won’t be back until like Thanksgiving, and by then you will have forgotten about the people you left behind in August. You will have forgotten about this stupid place and all the people in it.”

“I will never leave you behind.” Jake looked earnestly.

“You are in two days.” Allie got off the picnic table, and walked away.

Jake sat down, and watched Allie leave. The wind picked up, and pulled Allie’s hair out of the loose ponytail it had been in. She looked so beautiful to Jake. He rubbed his hands across his face. He didn’t know what else he could do.

Allie started to run when she was out of Jake’s sight. She didn’t want to be close to Jake at that moment. Unlike him, though, she knew she couldn’t stay away from him forever. She knew that she would go to him before he left her for his music.

She ran all the way to the barn, before she stopped to look over her shoulder. When she didn’t see Jake, she walked up the driveway to the house. She knew that Tori would be up there. She didn’t work on Wednesdays.

“What’s wrong?” Tori asked when she answered the door and saw Allie there with tears in her eyes. Tori moved out of the doorway, letting Allie into the house.

“Jake is leaving me.” Allie told Tori, beginning to sob. Tori looked at her in shock. “In two days, he’s leaving me for music camp, and he won’t be back home until Thanksgiving.”

“Want to come upstairs?” Tori asked. Allie followed Tori up the stairs and into the living room. Will was sitting on the couch.

“Hey Allie. What’s up?” Will asked, glancing at Allie and his girlfriend. “How’s Jake?”

“He hates me.” Allie cried even harder, flopping down into a leather chair.

“He doesn’t hate you.” Tori insisted, flashing Will a warning look. She sat down in the other chair. “Jake could never hate you.”

“Then why is he leaving me?” Allie asked, looking up at Tori. “How can he do this to someone he claims to love?”

“What did he tell you was the reason for him leaving?” Tori asked, glancing over at Will. They both looked worried.

“He said that his parents are making him and that he loves music.” Allie explained. “That is a bunch of bull bunny. His parents can’t tell him what to do. Even when they try, he doesn’t listen. Besides that, he told me that he doesn’t love music as much as he loves me.”

“I can’t believe him.” Tori was frustrated. “How can he leave you? If he claims to love you so much, why is he leaving you?”

“I don’t know, but I hate this.” Allie’s chin trembled as she tried to hold back more tears. She looked at her two friends. They were holding hands. “What ever you two do in life, don’t leave each other with promises of seeing each other when they won’t come true.”

“We won’t leave each other ever.” Will smiled at Tori, who gleamed with happiness.

“Would you look at that? There is nothing better than seeing the magic of a relationship strengthen.” Allie’s eyes glazed over, “Just watch out for concerned parents. That’s when the magic will start to disappear.”

“The magic isn’t disappearing for your’s and Jake’s relationship.” Tori told Allie, her smile vanishing from her face.

“You’re right. The magic is gone.” Allie corrected herself. “I’ve given up on love. I’ve decided that it’s not for me. I want nothing to do with it.”

“Love isn’t that bad.” Will said, trying to convince Allie that love wasn’t as bad as she made it out to be. Allie raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, you can say that.” Allie brushed at her tears. “But after what I’ve been through, love doesn’t seem so great. You have Tori, and she will never leave you, just like you will never leave her.”

“Jake will be coming back for you, Allie.” Tori insisted. Allie shook her head in doubt. “He will, I promise you that.”

“No more promises.” Allie stood up. “When promises are made, the people who make them are just setting the other person up for lies and heart break.”

“Allie, Jake doesn’t want to leave you. He probably would hate to hear you talk like this.” Will said. Allie nodded, and collapsed into tears again.

“Why would he do this to me?” Allie cried from her spot on the floor. Tori went to Allie, and hugged her.

“It’ll be okay, Allie. It will pass.” Tori said soothingly. She hated seeing her friend like this. “You’ll get better.”

“I can’t live without him.” Allie cried. Tori looked pleadingly up at Will, who looked helpless. “I won’t survive without Jake.”

“Have you tried to tell him that?” Will asked, sitting on the floor next to Tori.

“I can’t. Jake doesn’t even know that I love him so much that it is killing me being here.” Allie admitted. She looked down at herself. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have barged in like this. I’m a mess.”

“Allie, it’s okay. Will and I don’t care.” Tori insisted. Allie just shook her head, and stood up.

“I’ll leave.” Allie pasted a fake weak smile on her face. Tori and Will stood up beside her. She hugged both of her friends. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you want to go? You can hang out here with Will and I.” Tori offered. Allie shook her, and backed up out of the room.

“I don’t want to intrude.” Allie respectfully turned down the offer. “Don’t worry.”

Tori and Will watched their friend leave the house. They both seemed sad for Allie. They sat down on the couch, but didn’t talk. The cheer was gone from the room. It left when Allie came.

* * *

“Ready to go?” Riley asked when Allie approached Tori and Riley. Her eyes were red and puffy from saying good-bye to her baby boy.

“Yeah.” Allie’s voice was hoarse. Tori offered her a small, sympathetic smile. “Promise me you’ll take care of him.”

“I promise.” Tori nodded. Riley ad Allie got in the SUV. “I’ll see you at school, Allie.”

“Of course.” Allie nodded out the window. “Good-bye Tori.”

Tori thought that she saw a glint of something dangerous in Allie’s eyes. It was as though Allie was saying good-bye forever. This made Tori a little uneasy as Riley and Allie left. She waved, and watched Riley take them down the road.

“Can we stop to get flowers?” Allie asked, glancing over at Riley. Riley nodded. “I can’t go empty handed to see Jake.”

“We’ll stop. Don’t worry.” Riley assured Allie as they sped back toward town.

They stopped on the other side of town to buy flowers. Allie bought eleven red roses and one white rose. She almost broke down in tears as she was paying for them, but she held them back until they got in the car.

“Are you sure you want to visit Jake today?” Riley asked, handing Allie a tissue to blow her nose.

“Of course I am.” Allie wiped at her tears, and nodded. Riley sighed, and started the car.

They left town, and travelled the ten minutes down the road to the cemetery. Riley left Allie at the gate, and drove home.

Allie walked between the gravestones. She didn’t have to look at the names; she knew which one was Jake’s. She had memorized it when the Orwalls had buried him.

“Oh Jake.” Allie collapsed in front of Jake’s grave. Tears were pouring from her eyes as she set the bouquet of roses at the base of the tombstone. “I miss you so much.”

* * *

“Jake’s here.” Lydia said, coming into Allie’s room. Allie was curled up on her bed, crying. “Honey, you have to talk to him. He’s in just as much pain as you are, and you will regret it if you don’t talk to him. He’s leaving tomorrow.”

“Don’t you think I know that already?” Allie sat up. She glared at her mom. “If he wants to see me, fine. I’ll come down, but I’m not going to be nice about this.”

“That’s fine.” Lydia was relieved that her daughter agreed to see Jake. Allie had been in her room since she had come home from Tori’s. “He’s out on the porch.”

Allie got up, and went downstairs. Jake stood up when Allie came out on to the front porch. Allie flopped down in one of the wicker chairs, and waited for Jake to say something, anything.

“Allie, I’m sorry.” Jake began. Allie didn’t respond. She just stared out of the street. Jake looked discouraged. “I love you, but if I’m going to play, this school is great.”

“Jake, just stop there. If you loved me, you wouldn’t be going to this camp.” Allie cut him off. “I was okay with you going to school at St. Mary’s, but why camp? Why do you have to leave me for an even longer time? And don’t give me crap about honing your music talents. I know that that is what your parents told you. Think about this Jake. Eleven months.”

“I know. It’s a long time considering we can’t go a week without seeing each other.” Jake looked down at his feet. “Allie, I can’t tell you a reason why I’m leaving you until Thanksgiving. I can’t come up with a better reason that will beat out the fact that I love you so much. All I can say in my defence is that I’m truly, deeply sorry.”

Jake got out of his chair that he had apparently sat in again sometime during Allie’s speech, and he left. Allie stood up, but didn’t say anything until he was out at the roadside.

“Jake, wait.” Allie walked to him. He turned to her. Allie walked straight up to him, and kissed him. “You have to understand that I’m mad because I can’t live without you. Being apart kills me, Jake.”

“I know, but I’ll call you whenever I can.” Jake brushed a strand of hair out of Allie’s face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Allie said without even thinking about it. Jake looked shocked at first, but then his face broke out into a smile. “I’ve loved you since you first asked me out in grade eight. I’ve loved you since the first time we kissed. I’ve loved since we both shared the cold when you brought me soup. I love you, Jake Orwall, with all my heart, and I don’t want you to leave me with holes.”

“Allie.” Jake whispered, brushing a stray tear off of Allie’s cheek with his thumb. He hugged her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. “Will you come to see me off tomorrow?”

“Of course I will.” Allie’s voice was muffled. Jake felt tears begin to soak his shirt. Allie looked up at him, and saw that he too had tears in his eyes.

“I have to go and finish packing. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Jake said after a few minutes. Allie nodded, and stepped back.

Allie watched Jake step out on to the street, and she couldn’t believe that she had finally said it back. She was so happy, but the further Jake walked away from her, the less happy she felt, and the more troubled her mind became.

“Jake, wait.” Allie called out for a second time that night. Jake stopped in the middle of the road, and turned to her. “I love you. I need to tell you something.”

“What is it, my lo-” Jake started to walk toward her, but he never got to finish it. He never got to go to his love.

A car came out of nowhere, and that was it for Jake. The driver didn’t stop, leaving Jake to die. Allie ran to him, and screamed for her mom and dad to call 9-1-1.

Allie found out later that it was a drunk driver that had hit Jake that night. Allie was furious when she found out, but the police never found out who it was so no charges were pressed.

“Jake, hold on. Please hold on.” Allie pleaded, taking Jake’s hand. Jake looked up at her with pain-filled eyes. Allie bent her head, and kissed Jake’s forehead. “You’ll be fine.”

“Good-bye, my Allie.” Jake whispered so quietly that Allie barely heard it.

“No, Jake, no. You’re going to pull through. You’re going to be fine.” Allie cried even harder.

“An ambulance is on its way.” Lydia told Allie, coming up behind her.

“You hear that Jake? An ambulance is coming to make you better.” Allie was talking quickly. She was starting to panic. She couldn’t lose Jake, she just couldn’t. “You’re going to be okay.”

“Allie, I love you.” Jake whispered. His eyes started to close. “Good-bye, my love.”

“No! Jake!” Allie screamed, but Jake was gone. He sighed as the last breath left his body. Allie began to cry hysterically, resting her head on her hand. Her whole body shook with sobs as she cried her eyes out.

“Don’t.” Allie pulled out of Lydia’s reach. Even though Lydia was crying, she couldn’t possibly understand the pain Allie was going through.

The ambulance came and took Jake’s body away. Allie went with him to the hospital, and called the Orwalls from there. They would be right over.

“It’s all my fault.” Allie cried in the waiting room. She had no reason to believe that it wasn’t her fault. The ‘what ifs’ ran through her mind as she cried.

* * *

“I love you.” Allie kissed her hand and ran it over Jake’s name on the gravestone. She stifled a sob, and let a tear slip from her eye.

“Riley.” Allie said as she left the cemetery. She had called him using her cell phone. “I’m done.”

“I’ll be right there.” Rile said, walking out to his vehicle. He had his duffel bag of clothes with him.

“Good-bye.” Allie turned off her phone. Allie tucked the phone into her pocket, and made her way through the cemetery. Riley wouldn’t be long, so she was going to wait at the gate.

Allie crossed the street, and sat on the bench. She looked over her shoulder at the river. The water was high, and it looked dangerous. She shook her head, and turned back to the road.

“Help!” Allie heard someone call. She jumped to her feet, and looked around. She didn’t see anyone at first, but when she turned to the river she saw a little girl trying to swim. “Help!”

Allie ran to the river’s edge, and looked for anyone who might be able to save the little drowning girl. When she saw no one around, Allie made a quick decision. She kicked off her shoes, and took off her sweater.

“Help!” The girl’s mouth filled with water, so barely anything came out. Allie looked around trying to think of how to enter the water. She had to come up with something quickly. The girl was losing the battle against the torrent.

Finally, Allie just jumped into the rushing water. She was pulled along for a moment, but that was before she regained herself. She fought hard against the current, making her way toward the girl.

“You’ll be okay. Just hold on.” Allie said to the girl, hugging her. The child nodded, and wrapped her arms around Allie’s shoulders.

Allie had a hard time swimming back to shore. With an extra person, she was being pushed down into the water. She kept her eyes on the shore, where a group of people had gathered. The people were encouraging Allie to swim harder.

Allie managed to get to the edge. She pushed the little girl on to the shore. One of the adults hugged the girl, making Allie smile. Someone reached out for Allie, but she shook her head, and let go. Everyone on the shore screamed urgently for someone, anyone to get Allie out of the river.

As Allie floated along, a huge smile spread across her face. She knew that she would be with Jake soon. She didn’t try to fight the water. She let it carry her along. She didn’t care that it pulled her under.

The last thing she saw before the water engulfed her was Riley’s SUV coming down the road. She would die with that image as the last thing she ever saw.

* * *

Tori ripped open the letter Allie had given her. Tori expected it to be a cheque for the board fee, but instead she found two letters. She unfolded the first letter and began to read it.

Dear Tori

I know you must think I’m crazy for leaving Delta and Penny, but without Jake, Delta and Penny will get out of shape. I will miss my baby boy. Take care of him after I’m gone. In your mind you must be thinking that I’m talking about just leaving the barn. Well, that’s wrong. I won’t see you ever again, or anyone else for that matter. I’ll explain in a minute. I have a big favour to ask of you. I have enclosed two letters. One is obviously for you, and the other is for my parents. Please give it to them. I will be gone, but not because I’m just leaving the barn, but because I plan to die. I love you, Tori. You are my best friend. Say good-bye to Will for me. I’ll see you both on the other side.

Missing you,

Allie Graham

Tears poured out of Tori’s eyes. She sniffled, and folded the note up. She tucked it in her pocket, and left the barn. She was in shock. How was Allie planning to die? What was she going to do?

“Hey Tori.” Will appeared from around the corner. He noticed that his girlfriend was crying. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Allie…” Tori cried even harder. She handed Will the latter from Allie.

“What is it?” Will unfolded the letter and read it quickly. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he hugged Tori to his chest. “Oh Tori…”

Will and Tori hugged for a few more minutes; Tori was sobbing into Will’s shoulder. She finally stepped away. She looked off toward the pasture where Delta and Penny were grazing. The tears had stopped, but her eyes still glistened with the leftovers.

“So are you going to bring the other letter to Mr. And Mrs. Graham?” Will asked, looking to Tori expectantly. Tori nodded, but she couldn’t talk. The grief was too much for her to even talk. Will wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll take you.”

Tori and Will headed over to the Graham house to deliver the letter. They saw that Riley was still home, which was weird for that time of year. He shouldn’t have been home for more than a few days. Tori had figured that he would be going back to Brock that day. Why was he still home?

Will helped Tori out of the car. They walked to the door, and rang to the doorbell. Will kissed Tori’s head as they waited.

“Tori, Will, what are you doing here?” Ron Graham asked when he answered the door. He looked like he had been crying.

“I’m sorry for Allie’s death.” Tori began to cry again. For some reason she knew that it had already happened; that Allie was gone. She took out the letter from Allie. “Allie wanted me to give this to you.”

“Thank you.” Ron started to cry. He let Tori and Will into the house, and led them to the living room. Lydia was crying in Riley’s arms.

“We have a letter from Allie.” Ron told the group that had gathered there. He was trying hard to act strong, but it wasn’t working.

“Do you want me to read it?” Will offered. He was the only person in the room who wasn’t crying. Ron nodded and handed Will the note.

Dear Family

This is really weird for me. I’ve never had to write a letter to you guys before. Well not like this one. I’ll start from the beginning. It all started at the start of summer vacation when I was up in my room with Jake. That was the first time I knew that something strange and dangerous was going to happen this summer. When you guys let me go up with Jake to his cottage, I couldn’t have been happier. Well up at the cottage something happened to the both of us that will never be forgotten. It wasn’t until after Jake died that I began to feel the affects of what had happened between him and me. When we were up at the cottage in July, we had had sex. The night Jake died was the night I was going to tell him of my suspicions. At the end of August I knew that I was pregnant with Jake’s baby. Something else I knew was that I couldn’t have Jake’s child without him by my side the entire time. I have been thinking a lot lately about how to deal with this. As much as I tried, I couldn’t see myself with a future, so I have been planning to end it. I don’t want a future without Jake. I know that you are probably tired of hearing that, but I really can’t survive without him. I didn’t plan to die today, but I know that I have to at some point. I mean, we all die some day. Why not make more room in the world for someone who needs it? I’m not needed, and so I’ve gotten rid of myself. You probably are thinking that you need me, but you don’t. Think about it. Do you really want a daughter who acts like a ghost? I would be like that to the world, and I know you don’t want a daughter like that. It would tear you up inside. I also don’t think that you will want a pregnant seventeen-year-old child. You would probably disown me if I told you about Jake and I, and the baby growing inside me. Besides, you have Riley. Dear Riley. Riley will be around to keep your attention away from my death. Give all your love to Riley, but please do not forget about me. Always remember me the way I used to be. Just don’t forget about Riley. He is your only living child left. Treat him like you love him with all your heart. I love you, but you have to let me go.

Love with all my heart,

Allison

The End