WANTED: 2
I’m writing this ad because I’m desperately seeking a dude I’ve only dreamed about. I know he’s out there somewhere, so PLEASE read this and text-message me right away at desperatelyseekingjay@aol.com okay? Here’s some 411 for ya’all: 3
So I, like, was at this joint in Chelsea a year ago, and they were talkin’ bout this guy, Jay, who lost his mean, bad parent and they sooo sent him to the orphanage? Well, after being in there for a WHOLE year, this nice family came and took him home and adopted him. They forced him to wear all black, like this DRESS thing YEAH I kid you not! And they waited for months for him to grow a proper beard, but it, like, wouldn’t grow? So they stuck him out in the hayloft and made him milk cows. Why, I heard they even made their neighbors bring THEIR cows over so he wouldn’t have any time at all to himself. And every Saturday they stuck him out in the fields and dressed him up like a scarecrow and made him just STAND there for hours. But he ran away after a year. I saw his picture in the newspaper with the story, and he was real cute. He looked like he would know how to treat a girl right, ya know? I really wanted to meet him but nobody at the paper would cop to his address. Grr. 4
Then, like, a year later? I heard about this other dude, and his name was Jay too! I think it’s the same Jay! No really. He was, like, really goofy and stuff? And he was so silly that the day before his nineteenth birthday (he had lied to all his friends, saying he was going to be eighteen to get more presents!) yeah, so he was out in a parking lot setting off, like, fireworks? And he ah, looked UP, I mean way up, dudes, and there was this mothership of all motherships and it like TOOK him; just beamed him right up! But he was back in a second cause they have, like, accelerated time there? Yeah well, they said his name was Jay, and SO not Scotty. The poor baby
5So please, like, ANYONE knowing who this mysterious-cute-funny Jay-dude is, get a hold of me PLEASE or I’ll just DIE, I know it
6~Desperately Seeking Jay 7
8
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY!
Adding your comment:
THANK YOU. Lol @ the Yem comment. Sometimes I wonder if PB is rubbing off on me 
Tra la la. I can't believe you found this funny too. That makes me happy 
