Listener

I couldn’t say I didn’t like him nor liked him at all. He always kept to himself trying to avoid being well known. He would always fail at that job. His attitude towards everyone was notorious for being one who couldn’t care less, most of the time anyway. On other days, he would seem to have woken up in a better mood and would talk to some of us but eventually find his way to the back of the conversation and then depart altogether. We all got used to it.1

I’ve only known him for about three years when he first came to my school, that was my freshman year of high school. He was an exception to the rules in many ways. He always wore black clothes and shoulder-length hair but was as intelligent as a nerd. Most teachers thought he was a cheater but never found evidence of it. During class he sat at his desk leaning slightly forward while looking straight down at his desk like there was something there. He constantly had headphones on even when he was told he wasn’t suppose to have them he always won with a tattered note with signature from some higher authority that allow him to where headphones all the time. Truthfully, it didn’t make sense but when we asked about it he always said it was for “experimental reasons” followed by a small grin on those good days.2

It was the beginning of another school year, my first class of the day was English and knew it was going to suck. Since when am I forced to learn English so early in the morning? Come on, math in the morning is bad enough as well but English lectures are worse. At least I had friends in the class and by an usual act of God him, whom we call Zen. He gave us that name since he refuses to give any information about himself. He claims Zen means something about a Buddhist Japanese schooling system that emphasizes on meditation or something along that line.3

We all had assigned seats and mine was fortunate enough to be in talking distance of Zen. Zen himself was not much taller than I am and I’m about average. He had green-gold eyes from what I’ve heard as apposed to my brown. His hair was dark brown as to my light brown and slight blond.4

The teacher walked in and laid down her order just as I was about to start a conversation with one of my friends. She a new teacher which doesn’t surprise me. Lately, teachers have been quitting because of the poor pay. This new teacher seemed to be strict but has her lenient side. But I think that was going to be tested with Zen.5

Pulling out her roll sheet she called all of out by last name. “Longston.” I raised my hand. “Here.” She dashed in a bubble like she did the rest of us. “Lugmer” Zen raised his hand but didn’t speak. She gave him a quick glare even though he couldn’t see it and fills in another bubble on her roll sheet.6

I lean over toward Zen. “I don’t think see likes you.” Zen leans back as he replies. “That’s fine by me. I’m not one of those likeable kinds of people anyway.” I almost wonder if that was his reasoning for everything.7

“Zen, do you even give a damn about anything?” He slightly chuckled, he knows I don’t mean much by the question. I hardly ever do, but he replied anyways. “Helen, there are just some things not getting all worked up about. One of those things is what people think of you in high school.” Sadly, I saw his point and didn’t continue the debate.8

I lean back when I noticed the teacher, Mrs. Gand, comes up our row having her eye on Zen. “Mister Lugmer, please put away your headphones before I’m forced to take them away.”9

Zen turned his head slightly toward Mrs. Gand. “I have a permit to have these on all the time and signatures to back that up.”10

Mrs. Gand was not impressed. “Show me then.” She probably thought he was kidding about it but she doesn’t know anything about Zen. The last time a teacher tried taking his headphones away Zen’s doctor almost got the teacher fired. Everyone in the class watched in great eagerness.11

Zen reached into one of his many pockets and pulls out a note and passes it to her. She quickly scans over it and puts back on his desk. “Whatever, it’s against school policy and you should know that.”12

With that she tried reaching for his headphones. His hand was already stopping hers. “Sorry, but that’s against my policies. Experimental purposes. Besides, I can hear you perfectly well.”13

She didn’t seem to care and reached for his headphones again. This time Zen was more serious and knocked her hand away giving her a glance that almost told her to get lost. We all gasped. There was also slight chattering between other people at the far side of the class.14

I knew that Zen had a temper in that way. When he thought something was right he would defend it with a strong passion sometimes using his anger as a weapon. I know he argued with other teachers like that. But what is odd is that he never showed such anger to all of us.15

Mrs. Gland also had her temper and grabbed Zen by arm and drug him out the classroom and most likely to our principal, Mr. Koken. Zen didn’t seemed concerned as he was taken out, it’s more of a yearly routine for him along with the occasional trips. Sometimes we wonder if Zen and Mr. Koken are good friends yet.16

After she left we all whispered to each other. I leaned over to my friend, Kath, to have a word with her. “First time I’ve seen this. Most all the teachers don’t really care as long as you make good grades.”17

“Yeah, I know. I saw this happen to him last year with Mrs. Raven. She lectured him about school policy but Zen had the principal on his side.”18

“Kinda weird that the principal would let him do that, sure he’s cool but you can only go so far with him.”19

“Have they ever taken off his headphones?” I’ve heard they have but they only speculate they have. I knew Kath to get know most everything about the school’s gossip and little unknown facts about everything relating to the school. The only reason being she was the daughter of one of the teachers I had last year.20

“I believe they have but only once. Oddly, for the next week or so Zen was out sick.”21

“Huh, I remember that. I thought he was out for tuberculosis though.”22

She shrugged. “Who knows.” Gossip is hard thing to keep up with since there can many forms of the same story slightly altered every time you hear it.23

Zen and Mrs. Gland were gone nearly half the hour before they returned. Zen had his bored look on his face almost like he was getting tired of these problems which was pretty much how he was when he left the room. Mrs. Gland, on the other hand, had a complete mood swing from being infuriated to really calm and ignoring Zen’s headphones. From there she went over the rules of the classroom and assigned us an essay of what we did during the summer.24

The first half of the day went by good, a bit of homework but nothing to be too hyped up about. I didn’t have anymore classes with Zen nor Kath for the first half of school. But now it was time for lunch.25

Our school is a closed campus but I don’t think nearly half the students are actually accounted for during lunch. Our food sucks and what makes it better is we don’t have a cafeteria room, we have to search for spots in the hallways carrying styrofoam trays with our food on it.26

I found Kath sitting near Zen in one of the hallways after hearing her call out to me. “Hey Helen, over here.”27

I sat down near both of them. Zen was halfway through his meal and Kath had just started hers. I opened mine to see a halfway decent meal.28

Kath started off the conversation. “How has both of your school days going?”29

Why didn’t I see that question coming? It’s practically everyday I hear that question coming from her. “Pretty good, except I have Couch Hammond for history. Otherwise, its been a good day.”30

Zen slightly laughed. “Sucks to be you. How many girls are in the class?”31

“Like ten or twelve I think.”32

He laughed again. “That sucks, I think I have him next. It’s amazing how a man who has a ‘h’ in his name can’t even pronounce it. He used to be the girl’s track couch right?”33

“No, but he did used to be the girl’s gym coach back when it was mandatory during middle school.”34

“Guess that’s why we don’t exactly have a female track team.”35

Kath finally made a comment in the conversation. “I think they are planning on dropping the entire class if they don’t have enough runners this year.”36

“I’m just surprised they didn’t do that yet.”37

I took a second to finish chewing my salad then came back into the conversation. “Yeah, Hammond can be a sick pervert sometimes. I heard he waits outside the shower room and tries to find ways inside. Then there is also the fact that when they win at track meets he demands for group hugs were he grabs the runners’ butts.”38

Zen just shook his head then stood up. “I’m going to get something to drink.”39

As he started to walk away when I quickly gave him a dollar. “Hey, get me one while you’re at it.”40

He grabbed my dollar. “Mountain Dew?”41

I was just about to tell him what I wanted but he already answered it for me, which left me clueless on how he knew. “Yeah, how did you know?”42

He shrugged. “Guessed.” He then turned and walked off. We watched him walk off until Kath commented on something I had already noticed.43

“He definitely more social than last year. Don’t you think?”44

I agree he was, normally we couldn’t even talk to him that much. “Yeah, I guess we broke his little shell last year.”45

“Guess so . . . you know if he wasn’t so creepy at times I think he would be a nice boyfriend.”46

I smiled, I knew where this was going. “So I’m guessing that means you like him? The one who says that she won’t date in high school.”47

She laughed. “Not for me you idiot, I mean for you. You even said you found him slightly attractive when he first came.” That took me off-guard, I didn’t expect her to remember such a comment. It was true though, he is pretty cute for a wannabe goth.48

“I guess so, but what’s interesting about him is how secretive he is. We don’t even know his real name for crying out loud. If I had the offer, yeah, I would date him.”49

Right after I finished my sentence I heard a slight choking noise then a deep cough. I turned around to see Zen stopped in the hallway coughing for a few moments then continued to walk on. He passed me my pop and sat down.50

“You okay?” I asked out of curiosity.51

He looked up almost clueless. “Huh, oh yeah I’m fine. Just got some Mountain Dew in my throat.”52

He sat down and passed Helen’s pop to her. He remained solemnly quiet for most of lunch until Kath asked Zen a question that had only crossed my mind a few times.53

“What exactly do you listen to?” She was curious, normally she could hear everything from peoples headphones since its so loud but Zen’s is quiet.54

“Not too much really, neo-classical, some rock, industrial, techno, euro-dance, and couple of other things. Nothing big.”55

Some of those genres I rarely ever heard of, the sounded interesting. 'May I listen?'56

He slight smile seemed to turn into a big frown, I'm not sure what I said wrong. I watched him turn his head quickly then take on his headphones passing them to me. 'This is VNV Nation.'57

Me and Kath listened closely to an interesting style of music. It was a technoish rock that seemed to almost have literature-like lyrics. I liked it.58

Kath also seemed to enjoy it, it was new but Zen seemed like he was getting a headache. He was holding his forehead rubbing his temple with a thumb and seemed very stressed. I passed back his headphones. 'You okay?'59

He quickly put his headphones back on but I don't he heard me. 'Zen?'60

He looked at me and I could see some stress in his eyes. 'Hmm?'61

'You okay?' Kath also seemed concerned.62

He nodded quickly. 'Yeah just a headache, I get them often.' He reached into his pocket and pulled out some aspirin popping them down.63

I sighed slightly thinking to myself. Poor guy.64

'You have no idea,' he said.65

Kath didn't seem to notice his comment as she got up and walked off to do something but I wondered what he was talking about then I realized he was replying to my thought. I wondered if I had said it out loud.66

He looked at me sort of concerned about something. 'So . . .' His eyes were darting back and forth and he seemed sort of flushed in the cheeks. It was a nice touch to his face in my opinion. I became caught up in his blush I never notice the lengthy silence which he broke quickly. 'Would you like to go out on a date sometime?'67

I truly did not see that one coming. A crazy thought I had just come true. Zen, Mr. Anti-Social, was asking me, of all people, out! For a moment I thought this was a dream.68

I was about to answer when I noticed Kath sat down empty handed. 'Did I miss anything?'69

I shock my head quietly and peeped. 'No.' I was so embarrassed.70

She noticed my lie easily and gave me that look trying to make me tell the truth. Before I said anything I shouldn't have Zen got and disappeared quickly.71

I turned back to Kath and leaned in. 'Get this. He just asked me out!'72

She put a finger on her lips to hush me. 'Not so loud. Sheesh.' She pondered for a moment.73

'Say yes,' she asked. I shook my head. 'You came back when I was about to answer.'74

'Are you going to?' She seemed extra excited.75

'Yeah, next time I see him I will.' In all actuality, I was excited as well. My mind was racing with a scenario. Call Mom or Dad, tell them I'll be back later, go out with Zen, find out who he really is, and then come back home hoping to god it doesn't get too intimate.76

I hoped up and rushed off to his locker. It didn't surprise me that he was there. I approached him noticing some people saw us so I decided to make this quick.77

'I would like to.' That seemed good, quick and simple, straight to the point. It sounded good in my head but saying it seemed cheesy and a bit slutty. I hope he didn't think too badly on it.78

I couldn't read his expression because of such a variety. Maybe complete confusion, uncertainty, or unpleased. Maybe I did make myself sound like a slut.79

'Okay, after school, my place?' His place! He wants me to go with him to his place! What the hell, I was under the impression the first date was at like a movie. I had my concerns.80

'Sure.' Okay now I want to beat myself for that one, it just slipped out. However, I wasn't anger at myself. I mean this is Zen not Jack the Ripper.81

The bell rang and I rushed off to class. I wasn't sure if he said anything but I knew I was going to find out later on today.82

I couldn't stop but think about my answer, it was almost scary. I was going to his place, which I have no clue where it is, and there maybe a chance I might find out his real name. My mind raced with possible names that he may have not liked. Mike? Al? Joe? Tim?83

The second half of the day rolled slowly on, it seemed like every time I looked up at the clock it was going backwards. None of my friends where in the same classroom as me but last hour did provide some interest when Beth was around.84

Beth is our prom queen basically. She's a prep and is always one to spread gossip. She's funny and actually not an annoying person though at time you just want to hit her for her gossip talk.85

'Guess what I heard.' She was talking to a few of her friends in the back, I had to focus too hear her but I could hear every word.86

'I heard,' she continued. 'That Helen and Zen are going on a date.'87

I gasped. How did they know so quickly? Then I remembered the locker.88

'Hey Helen is it true?' Oh just perfect, she's talking to me now. Do I deny it? What if I accept it? No, I shouldn't Zen would be mad at me. But if I deny it then they'll find out. Seems hopeless.89

I nodded slowly. Then her hand patted my shoulder. 'Go get 'em tigress.' I slightly smiled then she dropped a small package in front of me. I picked it up and blushed. It was a condom.90

She had already left not saying a word. I didn't want a damn condom. It was the first date, it wasn't going to happen. I hoped.91

I shoved it in my pocket for safe keeping. Better safe than sorry I guess.92

Finally, the hour ended and I called my Mom, she was agreeable. Just as I hung up and gave the cell phone back to Kath Zen somehow appeared from out of nowhere behind me.93

'Ready to go?' I nearly wet my underwear. Which I thought I did because I needed to pee anyways.94

'Jesus, don't do that.'95

He held up his hands with a bit of defense. 'Woah sorry.'96

I sighed at least I didn't wet myself, that's a big turn off. 'Yeah I'm ready. Let's go.'97

He took me out into the student's parking lot to a small, white car. It was basic and seemed slightly old but it looked safe.98

We didn't talk at all at first. He still had his headphones on which concerned me slightly, what if someone honk their horn to warn him on danger? Well I have seen him be able to pick up on two people whispering so I guess I should be fine.99

We were out of the city within ten minute and Zen took his CD player out from between his legs and pressed stop then tossed his headphones into the back.100

'I thought you had to where those all the time?'101

'Well it's more complicated than that. I have to where them while I'm around a lot of people. When we are out in the country, it's different.'102

I was still lost. 'I'm not following.'103

'I guess you need to learn a bit more about me then. I'll tell you when we get home.'104

We spent another ten minute through the country, it looked very peaceful to live here. I wonder where Zen lives out here.105

He turned off onto a dirt and gravel road and continued for about a half a mile through the woods until a clearing came out where a log cabin rested by the lake. It was an amazing sight, so calm and peaceful.106

'This is my house.' He pulled to a stop and turned off the car. I stepped out looking around. 'This is amazing, Where are your closest neighbors?'107

'Across and about a mile down the lake, you can't see them.'108

I turned to him. 'Why are you so isolated?'109

The turned toward the door and walked in. 'Come inside for a drink and I'll tell you all you want to know.'110

I followed. The inside had also the log effect with carpets. Zen kicked off his shoes on a wooden floor just in front of the door. 'Please take off your shoes.' He walked up and gave me a glass of coke as I kicked off my shoes.111

'Can I use your bathroom?'112

He nodded. 'Down the hall on the left.'113

I did my business quickly and went into the living room where he was already laying down on the couch. He seemed so normal now, it seemed ridiculous.114

'So what do you want to know,' he asked. I sat down thinking of my first question.115

'Why do you where those headphones?'116

He gave a slight smile and sipped his drink. 'Call me crazy but I'm psychic. I need those headphones to drown out everyone's thoughts.'117

'Well that sounds like a load of bull.' He was playing me for a fool, I could tell. I'm not a big believer in psychics.118

'Try me, think of a long sentence and I repeat it word-for-word.'119

I rolled my eyes, what was this some kind of trick but I went ahead. Seashells, seashells by the seashore, oh I think Zen is reading my head and is planning on taking my virginity away.120

Zen suddenly started laughing, this was the first time I heard him laugh wholeheartedly. 'Nice poetry.'121

No way, I don't think I said out loud. I was sipping my drink so how could I have. 'What was I thinking then?'122

He seemed to laugh a bit again. 'Seashells, seashells by the seashore, oh I think Zen is reading my head and is planning on taking my virginity away.'123

There was just no way, he repeated it word-for-word exactly as he said. Maybe he was psychic, it was the only explanation. Everything else started to piece together as well he could hear my thoughts. 'How did you do that?'124

'I'm not sure actually I just hear thoughts, I can't images just words in your head.'125

'Does this somehow link up to you being sick when that teacher taking away your headphones?'126

He shrugged sitting up. 'Sorta. The first day I had an ungodly headache but the rest of the week was from mono.'127

'Oh I see. So you can read people's minds, can't you block it out?'128

'Only a little, like you I can block it out but when around a lot of people I gets to be too much. That's why I live here in the country.'129

'So you're not exactly a psychic you're more of a listener.'130

'For lack of better terms yes.' He smiled.131

'Okay smarty, what's your real name?'132

He stood up. 'That you'll have to make me tell.'133

'I thought you said I could learn everything about you?'134

He smirked and knew there was one of those underlining catches. 'Not for free.' He strolled off I'm guessing to the bathroom. Now I needed to figure out a plan to get him but I needed to be careful what I thought of, he could hear me.135

I didn't try anything when he returned instead we talked a lot about him most but occasionally I came into the picture.136

Somehow one or another we ended up facing each other on the couch.137

'Sorry for prying but did you get a condom today?'138

I blushed, I had thought about the condom a few moments ago. 'Yeah, Beth gave me one when she found out we were on this date.'139

He chuckled. 'Well you wont be using it tonight i guarantee it.'140

I smiled. 'That's a bit of a relief.' I looked at the clock. 'I think I should be getting home.'141

He got up and lead me out to his car. The ride back wasn't so bad back, he put on his headphones once we got into town and we talked most of the time. Secretly, I ripped out a piece of paper and wrote my phone number down on it. I must admit I liked him and I really wanted to do it again.142

He pulled into my drive way as it started getting dark and I handed him the paper. 'Give me a buzz when you get home. Okay?'143

He smiled. 'Thanks, I will.'144

I leaned over and kissed him lightly. It was a sweet kiss and I could tell he enjoyed it. This was probably the closest he has ever been to a women.145

He smiled. 'One thing, don't tell anything about me.'146

I shock. 'I'd be the laughing stock of the town, of course I won't. So what's your real name?'147

He kissed me this time and whispered. 'My name is Arlen.'148

I smiled. 'From A to Z. Don't worry, I'm too used to Zen anyways.' I left him. I turned to watch him drive off into the night. I must admit he'll be a nice boyfriend.149