60 Even.

“I’m real sorry about this you know.” Leo said coldly as he positioned the chains on the wooden box containing Ren Henddy. “I wasn’t joking when I called you my bud you know, but you didn’t pay up, and I can’t have people thinkin’ that people can get away without payin’ Leo Patrick. But anyway I gotta wrap this up, you know I got a steak sittin’ on my counter that can’t be wasted.” With one shove the wooden box was beneath the waves, never to be seen again, and Ren Henddy was with it.1

As Leo walked back to his less than perfect red Camaro he momentarily thought about Ren. He actually did really appreciate the man, but the feeling wasn’t enough to overcome the addictive love of ending life. There was something about it that made Leo feel alive and in control, a sensation that was new in his life. He even had the perfect setup; his partner, Wade, was the one who handled the business, all he had to do was be sure the terms were met, and he received a generous cut. The best part was that Leo had no clue what the business was about; plausible deniability. The priorities in Leo’s life were simple. Eat. Sleep. Kill. 2

Before Leo got into his car he took out his keys and made a perfect one-inch line beside the existing 59. Now there were 60 even. Leo briefly let his conscience erupt. He was reminded of the promise he made to himself in the mirror three years earlier; he could picture himself seeing the barren shadow of the man he was, wondering if he really accepted this kind of job. After deciding there was no other way to make a decent living, he swore to the image in the hotel mirror that he would stop at 30, he couldn’t justify destroying more people’s lives than that. Now it was doubled. 3

K.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

  • rustic
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    Cool


  • DeniseC
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, I am amazed. Very dark story. I can feel the emotion and picture it in my mind, like how Leo wrapped the chains up containing Ren, and how he told himself about killing in the mirror. Very creative.

    I love the ending. Especially the last line:
    "he couldn’t justify destroying more people’s lives than that."
    This line is the most important line in this story, because it helps the readers to make clear the plot of the story. To be honest, I didn't get you meaning at first, so I read it again and again. And I think I eventually got it.

    I did enjoy it. But if you developed more about Leo's life and Ren, it would be better. I was expecting to read more about them. Maybe you can try to make it more longer, a longer story? If you are going to do so, I will come and read it.

    Great job. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering it.

    Denise