Nights from the Past [#1]

‘So some people believe in faith, in destiny and serendipity. They are convinced that from the moment they are born their faith has been decided. That everything you do is with the reason to reach you destiny. They believe that every encounter you have a person with, this being forever of just a simple ‘hi’, has been established long before you were born. They believe that if you die this is because you have fulfilled your destiny..’1

2

He put down the paper and looked at her; ‘You have written this?’ he asked and he rubbed with his fingers over his eyebrows. She said; ‘Yes, Mister Lipton, I have. Why do you ask?’ 3

He lifted his head up and said softly; ‘What happened? You used to be this vividly and intoxicating girl, now all that is left is a shadow of what you once were. What happened to you to make you loose your believe in everlasting love?’ 4

‘I did always believe in love, didn’t I?’ She said with a smile. ‘I was foolish and a dreamer, love is only for a moment, not everlasting. Love is replaceable with lust. What you are talking about is the so-called ‘One’. About the person who is just perfect for you and vice versa, the person who makes you complete, the person you are meant to be with. Well, I have news for you, there is no such person. It is just a fable that mothers tell their daughters to prevent them from sleeping around by saying; ‘You should wait for The one’ I just saw reality and embraced it. 5

He stared out of the window and let her words sink in. His mind made a quick step in time and he saw her as she used to be; laughing, joking. Covering the world with an indefinite blanket of love, her joy was like a bottomless dwell and, so it seemed, everlasting. She was a breeze of fresh wind through the hearts of everyone. He remembers the endless discussions they had about love and its meaning.’ His mind drifted back and he laid his eyes on, what used to be, his best student, she was still gorgeous but the joy had disappeared from her eyes. She still wrote her papers in her own magnificent style but the passion had gone. He waved with his hand towards the door and said; ‘You may go.’      6

She closed the door behind her and walked through the long hallways of her college into the sunlight. As she walked she thought about Mister Lipton’s words; she knew exactly what happened to her. Jack. Even his name made her stomach go weak and make her mind drift of. As she said his name silently she could taste the characters on her lips and the sound echoed in her mind. She also knew it was time get the words that had been stuck in her mind words months, out into the world.7

When she came to her dorm room she sat down at her desk, reached for her pen and took a paper out of her desk. She began to write.. 8

‘There once was a time when life was there for one purpose; to live and enjoy. There where a million chances to grasp but most of all, Jack was there. Jack has been the spill which my life evolved around for more then three years. He was always there, and at the same time he wasn’t. He was indifferent to my feelings and, in the beginning; I couldn’t have wanted it any other way. We weren’t friends with benefits, we weren’t friends at all. We once where lovers but the simple fact of the lack of love prevented us from really making something of it.9

The story here told is strange, complicated and full of lust, loss, hate and love. All stories have a beginning, so does this one. It all begun when he walked into my life and lightened the way, he just knew how to show me that I existed. We went out and I was crazy for Jack, It was short but very intense from my side. I knew he wasn’t in love with me and that he would leave me soon. And so he did, he walked out of my life..10

Sometimes I saw him walk by, like a shadow from the past, always there, but unable to reach. I moved on, lived on, walked on. Longing for the past, longing for Jack. 11

Like an earthquake he was back, back into my arms, not for long, just for a night, but that was enough. I thought at that moment; ‘This will be enough for the rest of ever.’ One night of passion, one night to relive memories, just one night, dusk till dawn. One night that was all I had, all I wanted, all that I thought there was left. 12

Just like you cannot predict when a star becomes a shooting star I could not predict that I would see him more night. I cannot say there was any love but I treasured the feeling he gave me. We really were strangers and we will be that forever..’ 13

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She stood up from behind her desk and walked to the fridge, opened it and took out a bottle of white whine. She moved towards the window and looked up to the sky. She could feel the warmth even though it was late in the evening, it was a typical summers night that brought back memories. She walked back to her desk and read what she had just written. While reading it she knew that she hasn’t told the whole truth, not even a small part had been written down in ink. She sat down, poured some whine down her throat, and began re-writing the last stanza..15