He walked along the wide sidewalk as the sun had disappeared. He had other modes of travel, but he liked to walk. There were not many students outside now, but the dorms were open until ten. It was a coed campus and like many such, the young women out numbered the men. They were the children of privilege and were healthier and wealthier than most their age. He was not interested in their wealth.1
Now she was good looking. Tall, 5'10" or so. A rather small chest, hips a little wide, and her stomach bare showing her navel ring. He didn't like navel rings. Long and nice legs, he was attracted. She smiled as they passed, her hair sandy blonde. He turned to watch her butt moving in her jeans. Quite a young woman!2
There were about 22,000 students. Around 10,000 in the dorms. He planned on going to the freshman dorms. The younger the women were, the better. Some were as young as 17, however; as it was early in the fall semester, most of the freshman girls were 18.3
He picked Eleanor Dorm because it was large. The dorm consisted of five floors and housed about four hundred young women. Although men were welcome until ten, he went unseen. He was walking up and down the halls and through the walls, trying to decide. He had plenty of time before the morning sun.4
Although it was not a required uniform, most of the students wore shirts or T-shirts and pants or jeans. Dresses and skirts were mostly lost in the past. When Spring entered, shorts would be the fashion. There were many pretty girls to choose from and many were tempting.5
She was the one! Silky light blonde hair. Slim, 5'5", ocean blue eyes and a spectacular face. The curve of her waist almost perfect, his guess 32, 23, 33. She was delicious. Probably 18. She had on a T-shirt that said "If you chew my butt, I'll chew yours!" and jeans. He followed her easily to her room.6
She had no way of knowing he was in her room. Invisible, he watched her as she got ready for bed. As he materialized she froze in a trance. Her clear blue eyes pleaded for escape. She tried unsuccessfully to scream. She stood in her nightgown, hands limp at her sides. He smelled her fresh youthful fragrance. There was no measure to the fear she had. Her heart rushed but her body wouldn't move.7
He moved her to the bed, set her on it. Her body was wonderful. She was sweet and warm. He kissed her; the pure cold and the power of his suction amazed her. It felt like a knife as he pushed finger deeply into her navel. Tears streamed down her face. She knew he was her death from the instant she had seen him.8
Suddenly her roommate stepped in the room. Now this was a problem. He'd have to choose. Her eyes caught his and she stopped where she stood and closed the door. It was hard to be divided between two victims and he would enjoy it more with one. However, he could take advantage of the situation. The roommate had brown hair and blue eyes. She was heavier though not big. He had already made his choice.9
He sat on the bed, pulling the blond to stand in front of himself. He stared at the dark haired girl and she came to him. It was hard to imagine which girl had the greater fear. He willed the roommate to come in front of him and stand beside the other girl. His decision had been easy. He could get plenty of girls here if he chose. He led the roommate across the room and kissed her. She was good. It was a waste. A hand on her chin and one behind her head, with a quick sharp twist, he snapped her neck. Her eyes lost focus as she fell dead to the floor. Only living blood could satisfy him, she was of no further use. Her lovely body was already beginning its decay.10
Turning back to the blonde whose fear had multiplied, he wrapped her in his arms. Her being flinched and screamed inside, but on the surface she seemed calm almost placid from the power of his hypnotic control. The racing pounding of her heart denied this calm. His touch was cold and he held her out now, examining her.11
The blonde had seen her friend killed. Death was quick for her friend. Now she lay peacefully. The blond wished the he would kill her as quickly as he had her roommate, but she knew he had different plans. He forced her to the bed. Everything he did hurt her and he was pleased to sense her pain.12
He pinned her under himself and he kissed her. Her responses to him were beyond her control, yet drastically uncomfortable. She wondered what it would feel like to die. She had no dreams now, no desire, no hope and no will. She was afraid of death and yet wanted death to set her free.13
He especially enjoyed this girl. Her fear heightened his pleasure. She was quite warm and her soft skin nearly silky. They melted together as he kissed.14
Still lying on top, he caressed her body, feeling her warmth. She felt him move to the side of her neck. Fear shared relief as she felt his fangs sink. Surprised by the suction she remained limp.15
At first there was tingling then pain in her hands, feet, arms, and legs; the price of escape. Each heartbeat painful, she knew death was close. She felt nausea in her belly and dizziness came over her. Pulsing pain occurred along the length of her arms and legs. Then numbness began in her extremities. Her breathing was very shallow, now. A floating sensation overcame her. She felt her heart stop and consciousness end. The vampire felt all the tension leave her muscles. He laid on her while her body temperature dissipated. He liked to feel his victim's warmth turn to cold. Now he could look for another.
Author notes
I hope you like this one.
Andy
In a list
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What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Amazing Story
You kept the rules as much as you could, which was great! And I love the description, at the beginning I though it was a little too much info... but who cares? WONDERFUL story!
Thanks, and Good Luck in my Contest! -
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Hi there!
I've written a lot of vampire stories, but almost all of them are written for adults. Even this story was taken from a story I'd written for adults and was adapted for younger readers. I'm very pleased that you like it so much.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting.
Andy
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No Problem
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I really liked this story. It was rather intriguing, and I didn't get bored at all. Very nice write indeed. ^_^
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Hi AppleJax!
Thanks for checking out this story. This vampire also strikes in 'The Vampire'. I'm very pleased that you weren't bored and the you like this story.
Thanks for all the applause.
Andy
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Not sure how it goes with my contest. I meant like original love. But wow. Just because your not extremely good doesn't mean anything. You may not have special talent at this but you have skill and sometimes skill is way better than talent.
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Hmm?
I thought you wanted, among other things, vampire stories.
I enjoy writing, which is my primary motivation. There are better writers, but I'm improving.
Thanks for hosting this contest.
Andy
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Wow. I really really enjoyed this!
You write a lot of horror, don't you Andy?
And may I add, you're mighty fine at it. It was a great read. I loved the tensing atmosphere in this piece.
Great job!
P.S. Though in the 6th pharagraph, you spelt 'waste' instead of 'waist'.
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Yes,
I do write a lot of crime and horror, but much of it is in adult categories. Beneath this story is a link to my list of stories that fourteen and under can read. There are over 70 stories in that list. You can look over the categories and pick the stories you like from it.
Thanks for catching my typo. I think I'd noticed it, but hadn't got around to correcting it. I'll correct it this time.
I'm very happy that you like this story.
Andy
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I'd love to read more! Your stories are really fantastic and mostly gory, but hey, I like 'em!
Ahh, so many stories to choose from. 
P.S. I'm happy I like this story too, lol.
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Even though I already commented on this, something drew me back for another read. I'm not quite sure what it was but I will say this. This is one of the few stories on this site that made me come back to read it again. Nice job with that. I'll have to check out more of your writing to see if it's as good or better.
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Hi Caradoc!
Rereading this, I can see that it does need some work. I think all of my stuff could be improved, I don't know if or when I'll get back to improve this story.
I'm glad to have you as a new Storywrite friend and I appreciate your interest in my stories.
I was just thinking, were you more interested in the crime novel or in Victor, the vampire?
Here's the link to our crime novel. It's probably the best work I've been involved with, with the exception of some of my songs.
http://storywrite.com/list/36716-The-Devil-Came-East
Andy
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I was slightly more interested in Victor, as crime novels aren't really my thing. But I'll check out some of the chapters for that novel when I get some time.
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The murders and the twisted pleasure that the vampire got from them was interesting. It really drove home that he was an inhuman monster. Your descriptions were good and the setting was well described. However, the sentence flow and erratic switching of viewpoints was a bit ify for me. Paragraph transition also didn't seem as smooth either. There were no spelling errors and the grammar was OK, but the sentences seemed a little choppy to me. Overall it was a good story, but not quite what I'm looking for.
Thank you for entering.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, characters: 4.
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Hi Caradoc!
Well, if I weren't so busy, I'd try to write you a better vampire story.
Thanks for hosting, reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Awesome... Again, I love it! The way you write stories... So discriptive and realistic!
---------> He eyes lost focus as she fell dead to the floor.
The sentince structure is a little off.
But on brighter note.
She was afraid of death and yet wanted death to set her free.
I love that, great!
Goodwork, again
~Cat
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Hi Cat!
I'm very happy that you like this story. Fixed that sentence. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
That is all I have posted of this vampire that isn't adult. I may post more of his exploits later.
Andy
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This is really cool, and I think that it could become a great murder mysyery story,
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story. You think it could be a great murder mystery story. Hmm. I guess it could be turned into that.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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I need to write or edit more of these for readers who are too young for erotica, but it is not as easy as it would seem. Erotica makes up so much of my vampire's mystique.
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Erotic or non erotic vampire stories doesn't matter to me I'll be there reading them. I have an infatuation with the vampires not the sex. I can find sex anytime and anywhere. I prefer something that will give me the chills making me look over my shoulder.And you my dear Andy do that to me everytime I read one of your stories.
Bravo!
Blessings
celticmoon -
I am glad you like it so much. I should have mentioned it to you when I posted it. I intend to make more of the vampire stories open to general audience for those, like you, who don't like erotica.
Andy -
this kiked ass!!! i liked it a lot. it was really easy to go from one point of view to the next and not get lost. you rreally do have a talent here, and u use it really well. this was truly a joy to read, and there were 2 deaths! yeah!
will watch for r newest non-erotic story.
*~*J
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that was cool! no rape but its still good
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