Who Am I? Chapter 18

1

It was not only raining when we finally arrived in Pewter Point the following night, but it was pouring and storming.2

“The walk to the park is going to be fun.” Rhylan said stepping off the bus. 3

“Is it far? I’m glad you’re coming now I have to ask for directions.”4

“It’s only a couple of blocks away, it won’t be that bad, we’ll just get is wet.” 5

“Do you know many of the people who live there?” I asked. 6

“Not really, I tend to stay inside. There is this one lady you should try and avoid, she has a baby and she’s a junky.”7

“Oh great that makes me feel really safe!” I said giving a fake laugh. 8

“Oh she’s harmless really, she’s nice and all if you’re nice to her.”9

It may have only been two blocks away but it was the longest two blocks of my life. I got saturated. The air there was really thick and dirty, it was to dark to see much of anything but I kept kicking rubbish on the cracked pavement as I walked. 10

Rhylan walked inside a shabby looking trailer and left me standing out in the rain. He came out a few minutes later and we walked over to the reception building; not that you could call it a building it was just four walls with a large window at the front. 11

“Hey Suzie.” He shouted out.12

“”Rhylan! Good to see you again.” Said a frail looking older woman, she would have been at least 45, maybe older. 13

“I need my caravan.” He said with a warm smile. 14

“So soon?” She asked. 15

“Yeah I’m a growing boy now, I need my space.” He said as she handed him the keys to number 9. 16

“You go on ahead, I will catch up in a minute.” I said and he took our stuff to the caravan. 17

“Can I help you love?” She asked.18

“I was wondering if you could tell me if a Charlene Davies is registered here.” I asked. 19

“I’m not supposed to give out that sort of information.”20

“I understand, but she is my mother, this is the only address I have, but when I spoke to her, she said she might not be here. I need to know.” I lied. So it wasn’t a very good lie but I was on the spot. 21

“I’m sorry but I am not allowed to.”22

It didn’t sound to me like she was sorry at all. She sounded so superior and smug about it. Why was she so nice to Rhylan and not to me? 23

“I have come a long way! She wants me to know if she is here! She will be very angry if I go all the way home. Please don’t tell me that this was all for nothing.”24

“You heard what I said, I’m not allowed to give out private information, now if you don’t want to hire a caravan LEAVE.” She snapped.25

“I’m not leaving until you help me!” I said sitting down. “I’ll wait here all night if I have to. Doesn’t bother me I have no place to be.” I added.26

“You can sit there as long as you want. I will have to charge you after an hour though, if you refuse payment I will call the police.”27

“So it’s money you want then? Look I’ll pay you, whatever you want! Just tell me! Is she here?” I cried, wishing that I did bring money with me. 28

“No amount of money is worth losing my job, I am a 49 year old woman, not exactly what people want! I have had enough of this nonsense. Leave now or I will call the police.”29

“What is your problem?” I said bursting out in tears. “She is here I know it! Or you wouldn’t be making such a fuss! Why can’t you just TELL ME?”30

“GET OUT! I will not be intimidated by you.” She screamed picking up the phone on the messy desk. She had one hand resting on a book with a title in bold letters “PERMANENT TENANTS”31

I turned and walked to the door defeated, I knew I had to go. I didn’t want any trouble with the police.  But I wasn’t going to give up either, I would find out what she was keeping from me one way or another.32

I was so cold as I knocked on Number 9. Rhylan answered promptly. 33

“Stupid old cow!” I spat. “She is so rude! So uptight! She wouldn’t tell me anything! This is so frustrating!” I added outraged. 34

“She’s not so bad once you get to know her. She is just doing her job. How would you like it if you lived here and she told every new visitor where you were staying?”35

“Oh side with her! I’m not some new visitor! I am her daughter! I need a smoke and alcohol and sex!” I blurted out without thinking. 36

I was so used to being able to talk to Luca about things like this. I turned a bright shade of red as he looked at me. 37

“Well I can fix you up with two of the three.” He laughed handing me a smoke and a beer.  “As for the third, you don’t want me…”38

The way I was feeling at that time, I needed something. I was so angry, and sex had always allowed me to take my frustration out on. Could I have sex with Rhylan? I had to move on at some stage…Luca didn’t want me. I couldn’t really hold on to the thought of him. He was moving on, so should I. Rhylan gave me one of those I don’t mind if you don’t want me looks as he sat down next to me. He leaned in and kissed me. What was I doing? Stop! 39

“Rhylan…I’m really sorry…I can’t. It’s to soon, it’s just to soon.” I said pulling away. 40

I knew that Luca and I were over, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kiss someone else, while I was thinking of another guy. I had changed I couldn’t hurt a guy that had been so nice to me, it wasn’t fair. 41

“That’s what I thought.” He said. “There’s only one bed though, hope you don’t mind sharing.” He added. 42

The thought of that unnerved me, but I didn’t have a choice. I had no money and even if I did. I don’t think Queen Suzie would let have a caravan anyway. 43

I didn’t get much sleep that night. My brain was too busy, it was like a freeway in a traffic jam. So many thoughts with no where to go. I couldn’t stop thinking about my Mum, I mean she could have been in this same park and I wouldn’t know. 44

She could have been in the one next to me for all I know. I couldn’t lay there wondering about it. I needed some answers, it was driving me insane. 45

I got out of bed quietly and put my shoes on it was 2.30 in the morning. The rain was coming down so hard, you could barely hear anything. 46

I walked outside and over to the building. I carefully peered around the corner, to see if she was sitting there. She wasn’t. I was expecting the door to be locked but it wasn’t. It was after all a 24-7 place. So where was she? I quietly walked in.47

There was a sign on the desk, it read:48

SLEEPING OUT BACK PLEASE RING BELL UNTIL I ATTEND TO YOU49

I wonder how they would feel about her sleeping on the job? I’m sure that’s not something you were allowed to do. But lucky for me she was. 50

I sifted through the papers on the desk, looking for the book. It didn’t take me long to find, she was obviously not worried that I might try something like this.51

‘Attention all staff the following caravan numbers must not be given out, these are rented out, this book must be signed and updated daily.’ The front page said. 52

Her name appeared on several pages, CHARLENE DAVIES C/NO: 18 RENT PAID TILL MON it said on the newest page in the book. 53

She was here, I had found her. She must have liked this place. 54

Suddenly I swear my heart stopped when somebody grabbed my arm, I went to scream but they covered my mouth.55

“Shhh! It’s only me!” Rhylan whispered dragging me outside, and rushing me back to the caravan. 56

“You idiot! You scared the crap out of me!” I gasped, trying to catch my breath. 57

“Didn’t mean to. I woke up and you were gone, figured I knew where you would be. I came to get you before you got yourself arrested.”58

“I was about to leave anyway! I was fine!” I said, but I couldn’t help but smile. I had found her. 59

“So did you find what you needed?”60

“Charlene Davies, caravan number 18 rent paid till Monday.”61

He gave me a weird look and didn’t say anything. I was in such a good mood I didn’t think anything of it. 62

“Don’t be mad at me, I found her! Be happy! I won’t do it again.”63

“You’re sure it was 18?” He asked. 64

“Positive…why?” 65

He gave a fake laugh. “No reason…you just wouldn’t want to knock on the wrong one aye, that would be embarrassing.” 66

“Yeah I guess…” I said puzzled.67

I know it was late but I needed to call mum and let her know what was going on. She would be worried sick about me.68