Guillotine Dreams

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Guillotine Dreams2

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“Are you ready ” A striking young man questioned the ten woman standing in a row beside the bar. 4

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He stood a tall 6''0. His shoulders spreading across the clubs door frame. His hands gripping his hips. He was raw power with sex appeal that dripped from him like the oil he had lathered on. Making his muscles tense, and bulge.6

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They called him Devon. He had seeked them out. Watching each woman night in, and night out. Biding them farewell every morning. They were his best paying customers. The woman that put his small, down town club on the map for being one of the dirtiest dance clubs in the whole of Amsterdam. 8

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Devon faced each woman doing a headcount. His fingers pointing to there lower abdomen.10

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One...Two...Three...Four...Five.12

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Devon stopped counting. He took his half empty class of scotch from the bar, flashing the woman a heart melting smile. Once he had downed the reminded of his drink. He licked his lips staring at each of the women's breasts.14

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Such juicy meat, Devon through to himself chucking manically. He threw the glass behind the counter. Letting it smash of the tiles. The sound echoed through the club, the hollow sound making all the women jump. Their skin crawling.16

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Six...Seven...Eight...Nine...Ten, Devon counted. 18

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“Brilliant. Glad you all could make it. I must say I have never seen such an exquisite, and powerful group of women in my life. I must confess, you have me intimidated. I must know how you do it?”20

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Number one stepped forward. Her frown causing wrinkles to crease above her smoky , mascara clad eyes.22

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Devon swallowed, inhaling deeply. 24

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The woman looked like Roley dog. Her once pretty face ruined in the essence of time. Devon picked her for the oldest, but without the wrinkles he had chosen her as his favorite. Something about the woman screamed domination-intimidation. Only one of the ten woman standing before him would survive to go onto be his mistress. He only hoped she could survive his ordeal.26

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“How do we do what? She barked. Looking around the club. “Why are we even here? Nobody else is. I was told I had won a free meal. I don't see no cooks, waiters, waitresses. All I see is an empty club, and a sad man playing with himself.”28

Devon tried to constrain his growing erection. Yes- she was aggressive. Demanding. The kind of woman he wanted standing by his side. Sitting at his kitchen table in a tight, little black dress. While he fed her his specialty. She would be his first critic.29

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“All in good timing. Please step back- I didn't catch you name.”31

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“You never asked,” Number one said, not backing down. She stood still for a moment staring into Devon's crystal blue eyes, before she stepped back turning away from him.33

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Devon laughed, ignoring the cold shoulder Number one had given him. 35

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It didn't matter to him what her name was. What any of their names were. He pondered the question for a moment. Success depended on how well he could cheat the women into believing his already shady lie. Number one had proven a valuable lesson – Not to weaken so easily.37

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“I didn't. Please forgive me. I didn't have time to look over the invitation list, and memorize all of your names. I am terrible with names, but I never forget a face,” Devon said grabbing a new glass. 39

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Devon poured himself a drink, staring at the anxious women.41

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Better get this rolling, he said to himself, resting his glass on the top of the bar counter.43

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“Alright well ladies. I think you have waited long enough,” Devon said extending his thick, rippled arms towards the dining room entrance.45

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“If you will allow me to guide you to the dining area,” He said opening the dining room door. “Table number seven. Once you are seated I will be with you momentarily to take your orders. “47

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The women followed Devon onto the dance floor. Their mouths wide open, gasps escaping their lips. A few women clutched their chest. Amazed at the transformation. Their eyed wandered around the black, silk curtains that surrounded the table. Candle's flickered in the light. While the disco light shimmered small flecks of silver like stars around the room.49

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“It's stunning,” Number four said touching the curtains. She laughed, rubbing her cheeks across the fabric, and took her seat as the table. The others followed. Every reaction was different. The room was a hot bed of admiration that made Devon's erection harden.51

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“Fit for queens,” Devon said pulling out a notepad, and a pen from his pocket. The women giggled. All of them had come together like a tight nit group of friends. The conversations changing from the transformation to every day life, and celebrity gossip.53

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“Are you ladies ready to order? Devon asked.55

“Damn right I am,”chimed in number six. A voluminous, kitten with innocent eyes, and lips Devon wanted wrapped around his infernal erection easing him from the tension that was growing harder to contain.56

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Devon closed his eyes. Images of taking her into the kitchen entered his mind. He would make her sit on all fours before his cock. Stripping her naked before he did so with the blade of a steak knife. Then he would force her mouth down on him. Impale himself down her throat. Then when he was ready to shoot his load down her throat. He would wrap his hands around her throat, and drain her of her last breath. Leaving her choking on his cream. 58

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Devon snapped back to reality. He looked, scanning all the women as they pointed to the budge in his pants. Some of them had flirtatious smiles of arousal cast upon their beautiful faces. Others were looking away, either to shy to look, or to disgusted.60

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“Who wants to go first?” he asked cheerfully. Keeping his demeanor .62

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When he took their orders he disappeared out back to prepare for his specialty. He scrunched up the piece of paper throwing it in the bin, before he stepped over to his cooking bench and admired everything he had laid out before the women had arrived.64

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Spices of all kinds- Italian, Moroccan, Mexican, and Indian where all spread out in a line like the women had been. Beside them- mixing bowls, several choices of oil, and sharpened knives covered half of Devon's cooking bench.66

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The other half was bare, all except the sprinkling of flour he had covered the bench top in. He was a mater chef. Who loved experimenting with exotic meat. So who better than to prepare a gourmet course meal than Devon himself.68

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Tonight is their lucky day, Devon whispered to himself inhaling a few of the spices. He could still hear the women chatting. It was getting on to midnight. The would be anxious to eat. He doubted any of the women ever ate before coming to the club, so nothing was new. But he could not keep them waiting.70

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Devon stepped out into the room with a plate of nibbles, and a jug of raspberry Vodka. He placed them both on the table, turning back towards the kitchen bringing the remaining three jugs left in the kitchen, and placed them beside the others.72

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“ Dinner is on its way. Now before I bring you your dinner I was wondering if I could run a proposal by you beauties.”74

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The table grew silent slowly. The jugs were passed around. Their glasses were filled. Devon took a deep breath. Pointing towards the kitchen.76

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“The reason I asked you ladies here tonight was because you are my top customers. The award you see in the middle of the table, was won only with the help of you ten, lively, gorgeous women. I have been asked, my my manager to make a calender of you ladies, that we could sell at the counter for charity.”78

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Number one took a sip of her Raspberry Vodka. She picked up the award, turning it over to pull of the photo Devon had attached to the back of the award. Google had been his savior.80

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“That is his son.” Devon said hanging his head. He was diagnosed with leukemia, and they are having difficulty trying to pay for his medical bills. By all means you can decline.”82

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The table was filled with their decisions. It was unanimous. He had reeled them in.84

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“What do you want us to do,” Number eight asked. Her husky, bar voice rose above the rest.86

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“All you have to do is be your beautiful selves, and step in front of the camera. You will each receive a calender free of charge, and drinks for free. Also you get the satisfaction of knowing you helped to save a young mans life.”88

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The women nodded.90

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“So enjoy your nibbles, and drinks. I will call you in when I am ready.”92

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The women continued to eat. To drink, and to gossip. Naive to the fate that awaited them inside hells kitchen.94

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Devon tapped number ten on the shoulder. Pulling her chair way like a gentleman. He guided her towards the kitchen. Closing the door behind him, and began preparing the meat for his meal.96

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. . . 98

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Devon led the woman one by one. Taking them by the hand, and whispered in their ears to strip. When each woman had fought him of, he stripped them himself. Twisting their arms behind their backs. Cutting the straps of their dresses, bras, and panties. Before bending down to cut their Achilles tendon so that the could not run away.100

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“Now don't even think of screaming,” Devon said shoving a piece of fruit into their mouths like a spit pig. When one would spit it out. Devon would slap them hard across the face, reaching for his rope, and tie it in a knot around their throat. Tough enough to hurt, yet not tight enough to strangle them.102

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"Okay sweetheart, I need you to step forwards and bend down for me,"Devon asked ushering the women towards the Guillotine, as if they had a choice in the matter. 104

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When they were tied, and gagged Devon stood each one naked on guillotine board. Bending them over. Spreading their legs wide. His cock straining painfully- Patiently waiting his turn to use them.106

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Devon ran his hands all over their bodies. Inspecting them, feeling each and every limb, pressing his fingers deep into each crevice. Feeling for each organ. When he was satisfied he dropped his hands and stood back. Admiring each girl as they stood tall.108

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When he was satisfied. He rest their head down. Making a clean shot with the blade. He did this to each woman. Each time cleaning the blade, changing his apron, and wiping the blood and sweat from his body before stepping out into the room to call upon his next victim.110

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... 112

Number one sat alone at the table. Devon eyed her body as she fidgeted. Fumbling around inside her handbag. When she pulled out her cell phone. Devon placed her meal in front of her, offering her a lap napkin, and a new glass filled with scotch.113

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“How are you feeling?” He asked sitting beside her. The bittersweet stench of blood filling the room. Making him hungry for what he had placed before her. 115

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Number one sipped on her scotch. She ran her fingers through her hair, and eyed the meal he had prepared especially for her.117

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“Hungry,” she said. “I didn't think I could last any longer. You're such a tease.”119

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Number one picked up her fork, stabbing it into the roasted meat. She took a bite, closing her mouth and chewed- letting out a strangled moan. Her nipples instantly hardening.121

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“So tender. So juicy. So delectable ” she said greedily forking more.123

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“My specialty,” Devon said eying her arousal. He would wait until she left to finish his duties, but now he was enjoying watching his woman delight in his cuisine. Devon grinned, a tired smile. 125

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He wiped the juices from her plump carnivorous lips. Allowing her to finish her mouthful, before he pulled her into a rough, passionate kiss. Tasting the juices inside his own mouth. 127

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“ Delicious,” Devon said, pulling away from number one. 129

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“ A meal fit for my queen.”131

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Author notes

[WARNING- My computers way of formatting things is retarted- So I am sorry about the spacing. I tried many times to correct it]




Firstly this is the best I can edit it.
So if you spot anything let me know.

Secondly I would like honest feed back - Because I want to make this story right. So let me know anything you liked & Dislkied & if you cannot give me feed back - I mean more than 100 word comments. Don't bother. Cause saying it is good doesn't mean shit to me if you don't explain why.

Contest One:

Thirdly : Andromimetophilia, Erotophonophilia, Sitophilia, Asphyxiation - I used these fetishes as a base.

Fourthly: Maragetta. So Tamatoe, Cheese, Garlic, Spices Xd Much like the gourmet meeat in my story ;]

Fifthly: Is that a word? Wow I wrote a standalone story - that was hard for me. Very hard. Should I make it a series? I mean after the contest?

Sixthly: Read & Commented Host ;]

Seventhly : I am sad with the word women, and woman. So if you see it, just know I am horrible with it.

Contest Two:

Eightly: "What happens to a men is less significant than what happens within him." - Louis L. Mann

Ninthly:  "Lust", "Gluttony", "Greed", "Wrath", and "Pride". Those are the ones I think lay hidden in my story.

Tenthly: Did you know Devon is actually a meat produced in Australia?

& so forth.
Comments?

Blair.

A contest entry

Did it arouse you?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • What a twisted fucker he was. I ate chicken while I read this, hoping for more flesh 'nomming' but I still liked how you wrote it. I really enjoyed it.


  • Drac
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    Well Blair, first of all I'll go over the typos and minor errors I found in this story, as you requested in your author notes =)

    (Just a warning though, as I am not the best at fixing these kinds of errors myself, my corrections may be wrong. But as I believe most to be typos, that's something you'll soon discover.)

    "Biding them farewell every morning" - I think it should be 'bidding them farewell'

    "His fingers pointing to there lower abdomen" - 'to their lower abdomen'

    "Once he had downed the reminded of his drink" - 'remainder of his drink'

    "Letting it smash of the tiles" - 'Letting it smash on the tiles'

    "Others were looking away, either to shy to look, or to disgusted" - I think it should be 'too shy to look, or too disgusted', but I'm not quite sure =p

    Other than that, I only found one thing that didn't quite make sense, and that was "He only hoped she could survive his ordeal", which doesn't really make sense, seeing as he just chose her at that minute and made no attempt at her life, like he did with the others... Just wondering what he meant here really =)

    The story was definately well written, and read like a mix of mystery, horror and twisted erotica =p However, to answer your question, it did not arouse me ;p

    I liked the ending, but somehow feel that it was easy to predict. Also, the guilliotine of the title seemed to be thrown in there for little to no reason, not that I don't do that myself, just saying we could have heard more about the beheadings ;D

    The character of Devon seemed well thought out, but the girls were not really fleshed out at all, and some of them never even spoke. But again, they really didn't need to have more screen-time, and the one that really mattered (Number one) was well described and had enough lines for us to understand a little bit more about her.

    All in all, this was (as I said) a well written text, with a couple of errors and shortcomings that keep it from being as awesome as it could have been ;D However, I have read superawesome stuff from you before, and I know that with a little work, this one will also get better =) Thanks for entering this one into my contest! =D

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Reaver Greeters member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    This was different adn creative. However, the many mistakes in wording *seeked/sought* and the puntuation spacing, fragments , misuse and mispellings threw me off a bit. I'm a natural proofreader and I can't help but stumble when something catches my eye.

    I did enjoy your concept and also how you surrounded Devon with so much sexual energy. His sinister attitude was enough to heat the entire piece of work. !

    Excellant job!
    Just needs proofed.

    Thanks for entering; i enjoyed this!
    Rian

  • this story was really interesting. i liked it a lot. it was cool to see how he picked number one out of the rest of them. she must be extra sepcial. ^^

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Crys Moro
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    Hi there, thanks for entering this story in my contest, I really enjoyed it, and I think it express well some of the deadly sins. I picked up some errors, spelling like and punctuation, the story is very good, I do think though it was kind of cutted short I was expecting more details on each of his victims, they seemed to be going down to easily, I think it would be more interesting if you portrayed their emotions as well, and also Devon's psicological emotions ( what is on his sick mind) rather than his pure sexual desire, that you made very clear.
    Some of the mistakes I found:
    line 14: glass ( you have class of scotch)
    16: Davon through to himself chucking...( I think is thought to himself, and chuckling)
    51:..took her seat as the table
    70: The would be anxious
    78: my my manager..

    I really don't like to be an *a..* and point it out all the little things I find, but you asked on your author notes...so that's it so far, also go over your punctuation...
    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!

  • well... elevventhly, if this did end up becoming a series, I'd read it XD

    This was excelent. You played off the fetishes really well. It wasn't *just* canablism like most other entries. This one stands out to me : )

    there were some gramar problems in stanzas 6 (feet is ' lol inches is ") 28 (“How do we do what? She barked [fix quotes]) and in your "seventhly" lol. It's funny how you made a grammatical error noting your other errors XD

    well done.

    Thanks so much for entering, and even more for a fresh write


  • So Strange Greeters member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    For a first part--as this seemed to me--this was really good and I feel it would make the reader want more. If the reader likes this kind of story, that is, and not if they hate the kind of story. I loved it, myself, because it's kind of freaky and it leads onto some very cannibalistic areas. I have written some about cannibals, myself, but yours seems more realistic than mine, unless you disagree.

    I hope to read more of your stuff soon, Blair. I loved the story, even though it seems incomplete... because your style is great and you always have interesting ideas, at the least.

  • Hi Blair!

    There are some typos and misspellings. If I have time I might go back over it later and pick some of them out for you.

    I believe you could go into greater detail. Also, it would seem that if Devon was having sex with each of the women, some toward the would be getting very suspicious or worried and might want to leave. Surely he didn't cook all of them, so what did he do with their bodies in the meantime?

    The woman he spared, was she aware of what meat she was eating? If so, when did she find out and what were her reactions?

    These are some things that came to mind. I think more dialogue between the women and Devon might make the story better, especially if it showed their fear. Also, perhaps fewer women and introducing names would make it seem more real.

    Andy

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