“Krysty? Where are you?” Vincent panted. “Up here.” Krysty shouted. Vincent looked up to see Krysty clinging to a stalactite. “Why did you scream?” “Something brushed up against my leg.” Krysty said. “Let go of that I’ll catch you” Vincent said holding out his arms. “ Not until you find out what brushed against my leg” Krysty shouted. Something furry brushed up against Vincent’s leg. Vincent looked down to see a cat with white bird wings and mismatch colored fur in no real pattern. “Awwww, you’re the big bad monster that scared Krysty.” Vincent said picking up the winged cat. The cat complied by happily purring in Vincent’s arms. “Krysty I found your big bad scary monster.” Vincent said chuckling. Vincent put down the cat. “Let go.” Vincent said holding out his arms. Krysty let go of the rock and dropped 15 before Vincent caught her and put her down. “Thanks” Krysty said kissing Vincent. Vincent smacked Krysty’s butt. “HEY!” Krysty smacked Vincent hard across the face. “What was that for?…” “You smacked my ass.” Krysty shot back. “Sorry I thought you said spanks.” Vincent said rubbing his face, which has a hand mark now. “And besides; how come you can smack my ass and I smack yours?” Vincent said as he picked up the cat again. “Well-well-well… I’m a girl that’s why” Krysty couldn’t help but giggle. Vincent put the cat down and headed deeper into the cave. Krysty followed Vincent; she kept looking over her shoulder. “That cat is following us.” Krysty said uneasily. “I know” Vincent said stopping and picking up the cat. “I don’t like it; it creeps me out.” Krysty said glairing at the cat. “I like it, I think she’s pretty.” Vincent said petting the cat. “How do you no that’s a she?” Krysty said. “Well it doesn’t have a- you know, and it has the scent of a female.” Vincent said as he continued to play with the cat. “Oh.” Krysty said slightly taken back “We’ll have to continue the conversation later.” Vincent said putting down the cat. “Why?” Krysty said looking confused. Vincent said nothing; he unsheathed his sword and took a battle position. “Vincent what is going on!” “Get ready demons are coming.” Vincent said, his eyes fixed into the Darkness. Krysty took a defensive stance not sure what to expect. Out of no-where a demon lunged at Krysty, she sided stepped and kneed the demon in the chest. “You never said you could do martial arts.” Vincent said cutting of a demons head. “You never asked.” Krysty replied. Vincent cast his fireball spell incinerating two on coming demons. “You never said you could do magic.” Krysty said round-housing another demon. “You never asked.” Vincent replied as he cut another demon in half. “So, are we even?” Vincent asked. “For now.” Krysty said jump kicking a demon that was attacking the winged cat. “I’m growing bored of this.” “What?” Krysty asked. Vincent let out huge inferno incinerating all the demons in its wake, leaving none standing. “You couldn’t have done that in the beginning?” Krysty asked slightly peeved. “Sorry I was having fun.” Vincent said with a blush. “Yea but then I wouldn’t have had to broken a sweat.” Krysty said kissing Vincent. Vincent picked up the cat and walked down the cavern; the cat purred happily in Vincent’s arms. “Hey I think this is it” Krysty said rushing deeper into the cave. “OK! Just don’t touch anything” Vincent called after picking up his pace. Vincent walked up to Krysty, they were standing in front of a room carved into a square room. “Wow.” Krysty said looking at some wall carvings. “Don’t touch anything its booby trapped.” Vincent said looking for something to disarm the trap. Krysty began to laugh, “What are you laughing at?” Vincent said confused. “You said, Booby.” Krysty was laughing hard now. Vincent looked at the winged cat he could have sworn it was snickering along with Krysty. Vincent went around the room looking for some way to disarm the trap, the cat was hovering in front of small protruding rock. Vincent went over to it and pressed it. The sound of gears and springs could be heard, “Krysty try to take the gem now” Vincent said looking around the room. Krysty did as she was told, nothing happened. “Ummm… did we do it?” Krysty said uneasily. “Yep and it was thanks to her.” Vincent said point at the cat, who grinned a cat grin. “W should give her a name don’t you think?” Vincent said picking up the cat. “Yea, but what?” Krysty said holding the gem under her arm. “How about Fairy Kitty?” Vincent said. “Ask her.” Krysty said as the walked back into the light. “Well do u like that Fairy Kitty?” Vincent said to the cat. The cat purred happily in Vincent’s arms as she, Krysty and Vincent walked back to town.1
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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First suggestion. I don't mind the humour in this one bit. Although I think the slight jest at the "booby" term is in my opinion going a little too far. As I said in the last chapter, I believe you are distracting the reader by creating new interactions with Vincent and Krysty when it is understood they like each other and things of that nature. Having them slap each other on the bum is fine and it adds humour but the touchy feely way this story is taking is kinda in my opinion taking up alot of unnecessary space. Take the advice or don't..I won't be offended. The story includes the cat now, which is obviously called Fairy Kitty now. I like the extra action with the demon and her getting frightened by the cat in the beginning...there's almost an Indiana Jones feel to having to get the gemstone out of it's place with the traps set and all that. That was interesting to see incorporated into this. Dialogue seriously in this section needs a bit of work...add in more detail perhaps even replace the lovey stuff with some actual content. That would really improve this piece I do say humbly!
~lonelyhowls -
This chapter is good I like the change between comdey and serious it makes the story more enjoyable and not all one type reading on
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FAIRY KITTY!!!!
Fairy kitty rocx! thanx Anrew!
lol... this story is really coming along! it's getting steadily more and more intersting.... i like the fact they your characters are imature at times & serious at times... try and develope more of a persoanilty for your main charater tho, he seems a little bit week minded..... have him have like a conversationg with krysty on some topic that will let his self out! so the reader knows more of him.... i meen, i know you pretty well, so i know the reson behind some actions of your charater, but those who do not know you would not have a clue! deffenently work on writing into the story when he is happy, sad, upseat, peeved, etc it helps the reader identify more with the character... also, putt him discovering more of his past, and EMOTION at finding these things! i meen, if he finds out he has the ability to change his sex put how like exited and scared he was at this! u know what i meen????? hopefully you do great great story tho, may hap it is time to introduce an opposing force tho, some one the exact opposite of your hero... some one people can LOATH! like a preist... lol.... but seriously, you write intreagingly and i am in awe of you... no fare u get to go to a farm! :-P makesure while you are there you write as MUCH as possible! it is always a good idea to sit outside whilst writing fantisy.. the air seems to carry with it a MILLION ideas that you would have otherwise never thought of! lemme knoe when the next chapter is up, or if you post another poem! cuz ur an AWESOME writer!
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