I sat in a tree, my brother on the floor. He sang me to sleep by our burning fire. I awoke, to find an arrow through his chest, a beautiful woman standing over him. “Why did you do this?” I asked, tears in my eyes. Her reply - “His voice could calm the wildest beast.”1
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Great Write!
I don't know how you did it, but you created a hell of a story out of 55 words. I think that's pretty damn awesome. Well done.
Avril
-
Tight writing!
-
Oh, how I'd like to read the rest of the story!! You've created an intrigueing glimpse into a story of fantasy and.....?
Very deserving of the Gold trophy...Congratulations on the win
And I see you're a brand new member to allpoetry ...Welcome
Dee
Edited on Aug 25, 12:15 because ''. -
Such wanton destruction of beauty pains my heart, but it happens. Great work with this short story.
Congratulations for gold!
-
Eh hem...and you thought mine was good. Yours stands out because it has a point, and there's a mini plot in it...mine's just a random phrase!
Excellant job, will check out some more of your work soon!
G xx -
This is really good.
John -
Yes, I know this contest is around for a while, and I know the limitations it has. I treid to attempt, but failed so drastically!!! To write a story as beautiful as this in 55 words IS AN ACHIEVEMENT!!! Thanks for the lovely read. Well done! Bravo!
Love and light,
Lencio -
yep 55 words.
Now that was good. I had not really considered fantasy in this, but you have given us a great moment. If I was not so tired I would go into how this is a metaphor for life and how we have to deal with people who want to choot us down to make them selves look bigger. Oh wait I just did!
I must say this is differant and well worth the read.
Thank you for entering and good luck.
Susan -
Thanks! Its based loosely upon the mythical creature named a Veela, which is a whole new story lol.
-
This single paragraph definitly gives the reader a lot of information. I don't think I could do that in only 55 words. Good luck in the contest!
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
