Darkness is SHARP

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When i moved i moved.2

When i spoke i spoke,3

I was lost when i was lost;4

But am lost and lost for good.5

So I was ss-stuck in my world. Ll-lost with no way out. Tt-trapped and broke beyond repair.6

He was after me. But he's always after me. How can he find me when i am lost??/ I can't find myself why should he find meeee>?7

Go away. Just go away.8

And now it's dark. But just my eyes. Not the lids. They are long gone. 9

I am alone. Back in my world. lost. lost. lost.10

BUT HE IS THERE!11

Will he not go? Not go?12

He has his friendssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.13

Oh no. His friends.14

SHARP. SHARP. Friends.15

I wish for lost. But all is SHARP. Just like his friends.16

S.O.S17

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Go away. Just go away.19

Was all she said.20

Asleep, asleep, stuck in the bed.21

Will she not wake when i call her name.22

Will she not move, speak, or find again.23

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And it HURT. HURT. HURT.25

he hurt, hurt, hurt26

In my arm, in my leg, in my head. Everywhere. Pain.27

He "spoke" he "spoke". I feel his violating touch. 28

I see. Like a blur through my vision which is light. NOT light, i see him. And i look down and see his friend. In my arm past my skin.29

And i am lost. lost. lost. AgaiN.30

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It will not work i tell him. She is gone. I know she is gone. Let her go.32

He is like death upon her bed. He will not go.33

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But I do not stay lost. He brings me back. I hate him.35

He caresses my breast and I have strength to flinch in hate.36

He looks down at me and smiles. EVIL. EVIL. EVIL.37

I make white noise.38

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She speaks she speaks! oH how she speaks. 40

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I am not lost or alone I am back. Unhappy but back. He has brought me back. I hate him.42

I sit up in my bed, surrounded by machines, flashing lights and a constant beep. I'm no longer thinking in loops, but one thought is in my mind.43

My mother is there. I remember her face. She is happy for me. I shove her away. She wanted me to live. But it is not her fault.44

I hate him.45

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I cried through it all. Not once did she look at me. In truth i was as dead to her as she was dead to me;47

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And so I would die. one way or another. does it sound like i care anymore? He had brought me back to die again. 49

I was in the hospital for that night. I was barely recovered. Why they bothered to still tend my wounds was beyond me. It was either fierce duty or they were patronizing me.50

I wished for lost. The place i had escaped to while i had been out. Where i had been past the line. Insane. For weeks. I wanted lost.51

But no one was there to hear my S.O.S52

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I sat there. Waiting with pain prickling my heart. I felt like i was going to watch a movie. The scene the horror of my nightmares. A mothers worst. I sat there. Waiting for the curtains to open and have one last look at my child.54

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They led me to it. A contraption sitting there in the middle of the room. Through a screen i saw faces. Now i knew how it felt like to be in a zoo.56

They all stood there. Almost as if they were mourning at a funeral. They all waited in silence. 57

Something was wrong with the world when you had to get into your own death contraption.58

I walked forward slowly. Unwilling to look up and face the people behind the screen.59

My back against the board i looked up. Now that I looked straight up, i realised that there were only a few people. My mum. A few nameless faces. His parents.60

His mum was crying. But so was my mum. Justice I suppose.61

An officer pushed me back against the table and others helped to pull the straps around me. I watched the people. My head held high. Dignity. But it was a stupid thing. I had lived my whole life without dignity, why should my death be any different.62

Then He came. Yes he was there. Ironic that a man who saved my life should end it. But I supposed it was his debt with death not mine.63

He smiled. i remembered.64

EVIL. EVIL. EVIL.65

And then i saw his sharp friends.66

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When i moved i moved.68

When i spoke i spoke,69

I was lost when i was lost;70

And stay lost am lost for good.71