As I watched my body walk away, I had this sinking feeling that today wasn’t going to be my day. As it rounded the corner, it occurred to me that I should probably follow…make sure it didn’t get into any trouble. Not, I suppose, that trouble gets much worse than a couple of bullet-holes through the guts. Even so, I had to admire the wiring of my body’s auto-pilot. There are some things bodies just know instinctively how to do. Breathe. Walk. Have an orgasm (yes, that is something it’s supposed to know and, if you had to ask, stop reading now and go see a doctor!). Apparently, knowing how to get found after being murdered by a couple of shit-faced Godfather-wannabe bastards is another talent we all possess. Only some of us get the chance to use it, however. Lucky me. 1
My stilettos tapped along my own blood-trail, heel-to-toe, like some kinda crazy walk-the-line drink-driving test. Whoever drew that line was more drunk than even I wanted to be right then…and that was plenty. Death can do that to a guy. Every snap and click of those cannelloni heels was the snap and click of safety-clip and trigger. Funny, I didn’t hear the actual explosion of bullet from gun. In those nanoseconds, my senses got sucked away by a vacuum. Slightly inconvenient, given how handy they’d have been in, say, throwing myself out of the path of said bullet. Twice. But my memories skipped straight from snap and click to pain and taste. Pain, starting at two points on my waistline (size 14) and quickly connecting-the-dots to so many anatomical points that I would’ve known the names of if I’d done what Mom and Dad wanted and become a doctor…instead of a drag-queen. I’d also know the technical, medical reason for the taste of blood and acid and God-only-knows-what-else coming in tidal-waves up my throat. You would think that my being a ghost (I’m making an assumption here, but I think I’m entitled) would mean the horrors of life stopped. After all, that’s life and this is death. But no. They suck equally.2
Author notes
I wrote the full story 2yrs ago. now im editing it&dividing it into chapters. this one was prompted by the quote:
As I watched my body walk away, I had this sinking feeling that today wasn’t going to be my day.
id always wanted to write a murder mystery from the point of view of the victim. That seemed like the perfect prompt to do so. I mostly wanted to use this intro to give the reader a good sense of the narrator/victim's character/personality. But I only wanted to reveal details slowly, that is why the bit about the drag queen was left to the end.
What do you think?
Would you like to read the rest?
In a list
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Got me hooked.
-
-
that's great! i look forward to hearing what you think of the rest
-
-
this was good id LOVE to read the rest
-
-
Thanks!
Chapters 2, 3 and 4 are all posted now. I hope you enjoy them
-
-
Alright. Now this is something I am in two halves about. On the plus side I think this story has more than potential. But for me as a reader- I was really relying on atmopshere,setting and more detaisl to give me a fuller picture. I did enjoy the different angel it was written from, and I want to know more about the shooting - what led him to the point of the shooting, and who did the shooting...
There is a lot to be answered...I am assuming I will get some more back story afterwards?
Interesting read, one I think with some more atmosphere 7 desriptions could be great ^^
Thanks for the read
Will read on asap.
Blair ;]
-
-
Thanks!
The atmosphere I was going for was that of the old black and white film noir that I love - especially the Phillip Marlowe movies. The description does increase (drastically) in future chapters. And you are right, the story does go on to follow what brought about the shooting. That is basically the whole story arc of the novella. I have posted chapters two, three and four on SW now. So I hope you enjoy them. Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it.
-
-
I think unless you are a black, and white film fan and know P.m, then it is going to be a hard thing to crack, so yes defenitily work on some of the things I mentioned.
Not a problem, ;]
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
