Silka stood at the edge of the river. It thundered past her. It's usually clear waters boiled and bubbled. The demon had angered the water spirit, that was clear. This river fed the surrounding villages and towns.
And it was her job to catch it. It had escaped from the demon prison in the north. This one was particularly feisty. Normally, escapees didn't last the night outside the prison. 1
Although she didn't want to admit it, this spirit worried her. Silka was one of the prison guards, and one of the best at that, and she had not laid eyes on this rogue spirit since it had escaped. 2
But for now, she had to concentrate on crossing the river. If she was not careful, she would slip into the frothing waters and be dashed against the rocks. She summoned all her spirit powers. Slowly, painfully slowly, she began to rise up from the ground. Silka hovered above the ground and tried not to look down. She could hear the angry waters below her, yet she did not falter. But this was not her best attempt, she could feel it. She repeatedly jolted in the air, and once she almost lost concentration. The going was still slow, but it seemed to be working. Her eyes were clouded, but Silka could vaguely see the opposite bank approaching. 3
Suddenly, Silka's feet touched solid ground, and she breathed a sigh of relief. This attempt had been worryingly shaky, and it confused her. 4
Despite the uneasiness, Silka carried on, for it was her duty. She became one with nature, embracing her spirit self. She could hear the birds singing a far way off. Silka could smell the flowers in the undergrowth. She could almost taste the sweet summer air, and every leaf in every tree was glowing a bright green. 5
Clutching her mallet, she sensed for the demon. At first, she couldn't sense anything wrong. A movement a long way off caught her attention. It was small, but noticeable. It had a dark aura. It was almost definitely the demon. 6
Silka had a deep hate for demons. When she was a young deer spirit, the deer family she was too look over had been killed by a rogue demon much like this one. It had almost torn her sould apart, and it took almost a century for her to fully recover. Ever since that fateful day, she had vowed to kill, or at least capture, every escapee demon, to prevent other spirits suffering as she had. 7
Silka focused on the dark scent and silently moved towards it. It became much stronger as she got closer, although she was still far away for the source. It reeked. It seemed to poison the surrounding forest. 8
Silka silently promised to destroy this demon. She loved this forest, and nothing would soil it. 9
She was approaching the demon faster than she had thought she would, and it scared her. This demon had a strange power, but it was nothing like the demon who had destroyed her deer family. 10
Suddenly, the demon was just a few feet away. Silka grasped her mallet tighter. The demon was crouching by the river bank, with it's back to her. It seemed to be holding a crystal bottle. Silently, as deer were the most silent of all forest dwellers, she crept forward. Silka could hear the demon muttering to itself. She recognised it as an activation spell. With a shiver, Silka realised what the demon was doing. In it's hand, it held a vial of poison, and it was pouring it into the river. The villages and towns would perish, and the forest would die. Her feeling at the glade was right.11
She muttered the counter spell under her breath. The demon didn't seem to notice her spell, but it noticed the poison evaporating in the bottle. It turned around it surprise. With a swing, Silka raised the mallet above her head and sruck the demon. The demon was no more. For, now, she had fulfilled her duty. 12
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Author notes
I was writing this, then my sisters came home, so I was rushed to finish
A contest entry
- Stories Of My Characters - points Galore!! by Sha Wujing.
400 points, ended July 27, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make me like fantasy! by Melancholic Smile.
350 points, ended October 16, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I enjoyed this
As you said yourself, the ending was a bit rushed and it probably could have been better. After so much excellent detail in the rest of the story, the ending did let it down slightly. However, I felt like you described Silka really well and her mission to find the demon. It kept me interested throughout and I was really looking forward to what would happen when she found it. Maybe sometime you will go back and expand the ending some more and make this already good story, even better 
Thanks for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck to you
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Intresting story.I truly enjoyed it and it kept me intreastead.I could feel the emotion of wanting to protect something important to the charry.You deaserved the gold this story won.I hope to read more of your work in the near future.
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this was wonderfuly done. Your writting style is very nice and your stiry flowed wonderfuly. I loved the detail you put into this piece. and the emotion throughout the entire story. I also loved your characters, they were so alive and personal.
You did and amazing job. Though, like you said the ending was a bit rushed, it was still good. I do feel you could have done better with the ending thought.
Keep up the good work,
Dewbeginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Nice : )
Enjoyed every bit of it
Well Done
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Nicely done! Great eye for detail and I loved the characterization. Their personalities wove into the stories so well! Great work buffy! Good luck in your contest ...
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I really like this story. It flowed nicely and the description was good. This story was mysterious but at the same time we learnt a lot about the character Silka so it captured my interest. However, I disliked the phrase 'literally correct' as it didn't seem to fit in with the rest olf the writing but that's only a minor thing. Good luck in the contest!
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Thanks for the comment. I was just browsing, and thought I'd give it a go, using the character profiles for inspiration
I changed the phrase, thanks to you When I was writing, I didn't really know what to say.
Thanks for the comment Very helpful
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Wow..........................................short. And different..
MY MEMORIES OF A 6TH GRADE STORY I WROTE ARE COMING BACK!!! DX
But thank you SO MUCH for entering!!!
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Yeah, it's short, although when I was writing it seemed much longer
Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted, or you imagined the characters differently.
Hope you get the story you wanted
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It's still really good even if it is short
Good luck in the contest. I only have 2 entries so far...
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For a mad dash of writing I like the way it reads. Good luck in the contest.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you for your comment. I just saw the contest, noticed no one had entered, loked at the character descriptions and started to type
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