I don't want my talent to go away, grab it with my infected talons. Not gonna let go, death grip. Death to me or it, god only knows who's gonna bite it this time. I promise I deserve this. Look at me, fucking look at me. I can't convince you unless you're staring straight at me.1
Overdrugged, underslept, work and green green grass and glass in the mirror pane and beauty under a glittering eyeglass hanging from the lapel of a respectable burlesque king. Tell me that you're lying, make me cry and I'll love you forever. Fuel that disorienting talent spinning around in my backwards head by throwing violets at my eyes and telling me you'll never stop loving me. I'll jack you off and you'll tear up when you kiss that next girl. 2
It doesn't matter. I felt dirty doing it anyway. I can play this life game on my own. 3
Grinding against the art school world, dancing through the conceptual hallways and tossing dirt on your aesthetically pleasing piece of shit.4
You. You're going to be famous and poor. Just wait for it.5
Commentary on life, who said you're smart enough to do that? You're twenty years old!!! You haven't experienced enough life to comment upon it yet.6
Oh just shut up, you're only 16. Go pierce something and tell me that it makes you feel like you're really expressing yourself through that piece of surgical steel.7
Ink on your skin, in your eyes on your eye lashes because only ugly girls go without makeup.8
Natural is best.9
Fight me, I'm fucking begging you to give me something to battle. 10
Fight me bitch.11
Author notes
fuck, I don't know what's going on with me. I'm not really upset or anything, but this is just what came out when I sat down. What else am I gonna do?
Comments
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Madness. Ok, I believe I get it towards the end, but the imagery is lost on me in the first couple paragraphs. It takes too long for me to interpret. If you even move it around, so that the first part is last (though it would, admittedly lose momentum) then there would be something tangible for the reader to work with. Maybe. This is intense, I'd hate for you to lose the energy by fucking with it, but it's completely over my head.
Is p.o.v. the same all the way through? That would make it easier. I think I'm expecting too much jumpiness. Over-analyzing. Well love, you've got me to think, anyhow
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honestly, good luck trying to pick it apart because I have no idea what it means or where it came from myself. I wrote this all down and I'm gonna go through it later and try to make more sense of it. because even when I was writing it I didn't understand the imagery and I knew it didn't make sense. I just wanted to write it, it was in my head so I did. It was quite freeing, but now I'm left with, as you said, madness

I'll let you know when I fix it up
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