Who Am I? ( Chapter 17 )

1.55pm I found myself at the bus station paying for my ticket. I went out the front and sat down. In half an hour the bus would be here. Only half an hour till I found out what Luca thought about my letter. 2.05 still no Luca, 2.15 nothing. I could feel the tension rising in my stomach. I suddenly wished that I hadn’t taken the easy way out. This wasn’t any easier. I watched the traffic drive past, looking frantically for any sign of Luca. I thought I saw his Mum’s car a few times, but it wasn’t him. 2.28 the bus pulled in. It became clear to me as I boarded the bus and took my seat that he wasn’t coming. I checked my phone for a missed call or even a message…nothing. 1

“Good afternoon passengers, we will depart in a few minutes and will stop every two hours. Enjoy your trip.” 2

“Come on Luca Please.” I whispered desperately looking out the window, hoping to see him running toward the bus. 3

The engines roared and I felt the bus slowly pull forward. No longer could I hold the tears in, they spilled down my cheeks. I put my hands on the window and pressed my head against the glass. It fogged up with each sob. We were on our way. I half expected to see Luca running and banging on the side of the bus, like you would in the movies. But this wasn’t a movie, this was my life. There was no one to blame for this but myself. He hadn’t forgiven me, it was really over for us.  I knew that it was my fault but it didn’t make it hurt any less. This had never happened to me before, I had never given my heart to someone and been rejected. So this was what love was. My first broken heart. They say that the first cut is the deepest. They didn’t lie. You could have drowned in my cut. 4

I picked up my mobile and dialled in Taylor’s number. I needed to talk to someone. 5

“Hello?” She said.6

“Taylor! It’s Hayleigh.” I sobbed into the phone.7

“Honey what’s wrong?” She asked. 8

“I’m alone! I’m leaving and I’m alone! I can’t do this! I don’t want to go on my own!” I gasped.9

“Oh hun, you can do it, this is what you wanted remember?” She said.10

“No. No. No. It isn’t I want Luca to be here, I don’t want to do it on my own. I want Luca, I want my Mum.” I cried. 11

“Did you talk to him yet Hayles?” 12

“No I wrote him a letter. I poured my friggen heart into it and he didn’t even call me! It’s over. I just want to come home!”13

“Maybe he didn’t get it…don’t…okay.” She said breaking up and finally cut out completely. 14

“Hello!” I cried laying down on the seat next to me. 15

How I loved all these new emotions, I had never felt them before. It was hard to try and understand them all, it was hard to accept that this was normal. That most teenagers deal with these feeling everyday. How did they do it? I may have had a great start in life but in many ways I had been sheltered.16

I was not the strong person I once thought myself to me. I was still in a fact just a scared little girl that wanted her Mummy. 17

My thoughts were interrupted. 18

“Excuse me, this is my seat, do you mind if I sit down.” A young voice said. Dam allocated seating. 19

I looked up at the boy struggling with his luggage. I hadn’t even noticed that the bus had stopped and was letting on more people. He was striking, his jet black and blonde hair would have sat under his ears but it was all spiked up. His eyes were the brownest I had ever seen, he had a slim figure with no visible muscle tone. He was very attractive but in a strange way. There was something about him. What a time to meet a guy when I looked and felt like this.20

“Oh sorry. Let me help you with that.” I said taking one of his bags and helping him put them in the overhead locker. He plonked down in the seat.21

I stared at the back of the seat in front of me, unsure of what to say, or even to talk at all. We sat in silence for a few minutes, before he broke the ice. 22

“I'm Rhylan so where are you off to?” He said. 23

“I'm Hayleigh. Um…Pewter Point.”24

“Are you serious? Didn’t picture a girl like you to be going to a place like that.”25

“A girl like me?” I asked raising my eyebrows.26

“Oh I didn’t mean it like that…I just um…” He said nervously playing with his phone. 27

“It’s okay, I get that a lot.” I smiled wiping the tears from my eyes. 28

“Are you okay?” He asked giving me a concerned but friendly look. 29

“Oh yeah…no…I don’t know to be honest. This is the first time I have been away from home. A guy I love doesn’t want to be with me, I feel so lost. I don’t know what I am doing anymore.” I said. I wasn’t sure why I was telling him all of this. 30

“Wow. Such a sad story for a pretty girl like you.” He said. I rolled my eyes. Guys could be so cheap sometimes. 31

“I didn’t mean it in a hitting on you way. I’m just trying to cheer you up.”32

“It’s okay. I’m not in the friendliest mood.”33

“I understand. Damn I hate the bus, it’s so boring. Are you staying with like family up there? I’m stuck in a caravan park with my dad for the winter.” He said changing the subject.34

“Um well I’m not sure who I am staying with. See I am trying to find my Mother, I have to go to this caravan park.” I explained. 35

“Are you serious? We’re going to the same place then, there is only one caravan park in Pewter Point.”36

“So your dad lives in a caravan park?”37

“Yeah my Mum divorced him 5 years ago and he moved away. So I’m constantly moving back and forwards, I spent Autumn and Winter with him, and the warm season with Mum. So what’s your story?”38

“Um…thought I had a perfect life…turns out I don’t. Now I am looking for my real Mum.” 39

“Short and to the point, I respect that.” He smiled.40

He was so easy to talk to, he seemed like a genuine enough guy. I was disappointed though, I found myself attracted to him, I thought that he might help me not think about Luca. But he was still going through my mind. 41

“So you’re staying with your Mum?” He asked. 42

I hadn’t thought about where I would stay. I had acted so quickly it hadn’t registered that I would need money for accommodation and food. I mean even if I found her I couldn’t crash there. I was going to be HOMELESS!43

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed. 44

“What?” I have no- where to stay…my family don’t know that I am gone. I had enough for the bus ticket and that’s it! I have like 12 bucks! What am I going to do?”45

“Just hire a caravan they don’t cost that much.”46

“I only have 12 dollars, I don’t think they would be that cheap.”47

“Oh that’s right. Well…Um…Not to sound like a weirdo but you would stay with me, we’ll be at the same place.”48

“I don’t even know you, I couldn’t be a pain to you like that.”49

I said uneasily.50

“It’s no trouble, trust me after three weeks in a tiny caravan with my dad he usually lets me get my own. I know you don’t know me, but I’m not like an axe murderer or anything and you look decent.  I don’t bite unless you ask me to.” he smiled. 51

“I don’t think I will ask you to bite me. Thanks for this. It’s really nice of you.”52

“No problem, how could anyone say no to you?” He smiled.53

“Oh great it’s starting to rain. I hope it doesn’t when we get there.” I sighed.54

“It always rains in Pewter Point.” He laughed.55

“Oh joy.” I said rolling my eyes.56