The Aisle, The Duck And The Never Before Seen Cousin1
Monday, 6th July
7:57 a.m.2
I had a dream. Not one of those ones when your floating on clouds that are made of marshmallow, either. No. I dreamt that I was getting married to Gorgey Times A Hundred (Note To Self: Must find out his real name.)
We were walking down the aisle, when Bella, in duck form, jumps at me and I fall through the floor, using my suddenly gigantic ears to cushion me.
Yeah. Its first on my list of weird dreams.3
8:00 a.m.
Do you think it's a sign? You know, that me and Gorgey Times A Hundred are meant to date? Or that if we did, Bella would stop us?
But then it might also mean I have big ears. And that the Black Sheba is secretly a duck.
If she was, do you think she'd tell me? 4
8:02 a.m.
She wouldn't would she.5
1 Second Later.
Anyway. I read my plan that I wrote last night. There is NO way Bella will find out my nearly possible love afro with Gorgey Times A Hundred. Oh yes. My evilll plan is working.
So. Of to have a tea party with the queen of sheba (geddit?)
To any of you dim-witted ones out there, I was talking about Bella.6
8:07 a.m.
Yeah. I have no idea why she's having a tea party. 7
2:36 p.m.
Back from Bella's party. I have been attacked by her little sister and various stuffed animals. She even had the cheek to laugh!
Her idiocy amazes me sometimes. 8
3:10 p.m.
I had been down stairs for 40 minutes and something vair randool happened.
"FREYJA?" Mum yelled. Tres loudly.
"WHAAAT?" I yelled back, louder still. But then mum got mad and had to come into my room and tell me off. After about 100 days of lecturing about "How I shouldn't shout" "I'm only in the next room" and "You could damage your precious voice" she finally said:
"Your cousin is coming to stay."
Of course I was tres tres happy about this. J'adore ma cousin.
"YES! Payton's coming to stay, whoo, Payton's coming to stay, whoo..."
And I continued to conga round the room shouting "MARVYYYY! MARVYYYY!"
"No." Said Mum "Not Payton. This is a cousin you've never met before. He used to live in America, but just moved to London last week."
Right. Now she tells me. Still, any cousin will do, if it means getting away from my family.
"What's her name?" I asked
"His name is Casey."
Oh. Thats a bit embarrassing... Ah well. Just remember BOY.
After about 10 minutes of kicking murmuring and promises to act like I'm normal, I escaped to my room.9
3:15 p.m.
This Casey guy better be nice. Or normal.
There enough weird people in my house to laugh a lifetime.
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