In Love With The Vampire Prince (pt 2)

It's a new day, kind of. I have only been stuck in this hell-hole for two days, but it seems like two years! I decided to take a shower again. I walked into the bathroom and got a towel ready. I undressed and stepped into the shower. 1

I like my showers. It gives me time to clear my mind. The warm water splashing on my face feels as if it is replensishing my body. It reminds me that I miss my friends and family. I want to at least call them to let them all know I am okay, and that I will see them soon. 2

As much as I would like to do that-I can't. These vampires are too worried about them selves to even let me call my loved ones. If Chandler loves me as much as he says he does then why wouldn't he let me do what I what. Why woudln't he let me go? I knew the answer to that.3

That's when I realized, I really hated Chandler. How could I have even thought that I loved him? When I really thought about it, I realized he doesn't love me. I probably just said that to hypnotize me into being his blood slave.4

I couldn't beleive it. I turned the shower off and once again wrapped a towel around me. I brushed my hair and put on some aweat pants and a T shirt. I waited and waited for someone to knock at my door, but no one did. I fell asleep waiting from waiting so long.5

At about 6:00 there was a knock on my door. 6

"It's about time" I said to myself quietly.7

They knocked again.8

"Come in."9

When the door opened, a tall pale man slowly walked in. He was almost see through his skin was so white. His deep brown-almost black eyes were the center of his beautiful complextion. They almost hypnotized you. I couldn't look away. He was quite scrawny, and yet, it looked like he could easily over power me. His long brown hair shined from the light in my room-he was beautiful. 10

"Umm, who are you?"11

"I am Phillip. You know my brother Chandler."12

"Yeah, lucky me." I said sarcastically.13

"He has been talking about you an awful long time. How beautful you are, how sweet you are. So I came to see for myself."14

"Okay you saw, now leave please."15

"He also said you tasted delicous...I wanted to taste you."16

"No, please leave. Now."17

"I don't think I will sweetie. You see, when I want something I get it."18

"LEAVE NOW!" I screamed19

Phillip slowly started to approach me. I starting screaming for help. I backed up into a wall. I was cornered by him. There was no where for me to run. I was trapped. I slid to the ground, pleading for him not to hurt me. He didn't listen. He grabbed me by the neck and sniffed me. Phillip was no where near as fragile as Chandler was. I started to have trouble breathing. 20

Then, I felt it. Phillip sunk his teeth into my skin and started to suck. I thought it would only burn for the few seconds, but it didn't. The burning continued. My neck soon fell as if it were on fire. The burn felt like it melted my skin. It was unbarable. When Phillip stopped, I felt like I could die. I fell onto the floor. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, to open my mouth and scream for help. I saw that Phillip left.21

.................................................................22

The next morning I was still on the floor. My neck still burned. It was sore and this time, there were marks. My neck had a purple bruise and my skin was very pale-like you could see right through me. There was another knock on my door. 23

"GO AWAY!" I said as lound as I could24

Chandler walked in. He took one look at me. There was so much pain in his face. Why would he care so much, he doesn't love me.25

"I do so love you Brittney!"26

I was guessing that he heard me think he didn't love me. Even though I still think he doesn't!27

"WHO DID THIS TO YOU?"28

"Phillip your sick monsterous brother!"29

I started to cry.30

"I swear, I will kill him for this Brittney!"31

"Why does it hurt SO much?"32

"That, I can easily explain. You see, I was the first vampire to bite you, so you are accustomed to my bite. Now that my stupid brother has bitten you..." He paused for a while.33

"WHAT?!"34

"You have a 30% chance of living, or staying human. The rest, you...You may die or assume form of...One of my kind."35

I could tell by the painful look on his face that this was bothering him to tell me this, and to know this himself.36

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE! PLEASE CHANDLER YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!"37

There was another knock at the door. Phillip walked in, grinning. I wanted to get up and attack him, but I was to weak to do as much as support my head.38

"PHILLIP! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"39

Chandler charged twards Phillip and held him to the door and grabbed Phillips neck.40

"Let's take this outside" Phillip said with his leftover breath.41

"Don't wanna be impolite to our lovely guest." He added. You could barley make out what he was saying with his ghasping voice.42

Chandler dragged Phillip out, I heard a lot of struggling and crashes. Then it stopped. I looked out my window and there it was. Chandler and Phillip fighting because of me. Well, it was Phillips fault, but because of me to. 43

I started to bang on the window begging them to stop but there was no response in that, they kept going at it. I was sick of it. Their fighting wasn't going to end anytime soon. I closed my curtains and went to bed. I was really hungry though, so I couldn't sleep much. I would get something to eat tomorrow. Hopefully things would be better.44

~*~ END OF PART TWO ~*~

Author notes

I know that this seems a lot like Twlilght but I am not intending it to be. There are only 3 things the same as my story and Twilight. Chandler reads minds, A Vampire and Human are in love, and the girl gets bit by another vampire and that vampire gets attacked. There is a twist to that one tho because Brittney gets bit by two different vampires, as where Bella only gets bit by one. If you are going to say this seems like Twilight please don't say that, I have gotton that enough. Just tell me how i can miprove on my writing and what you thought about the story. Thank you so much D

What did you think of part 2. Did you read part one yet?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • star-13
    August 7
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    wow write more plz its realy good i love this story


  • Betty Rawrs
    July 14
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    love it

    love it plea make chapter 3 XD i wanna to read some more XD

  • cnat wait for 3 yyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay


  • Satan-chan
    July 11
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    i love this story.... i mean this chapter. sooooooooooooo cuteee i luv it.... so r u writing part 3 now? or something? i can't wait to read part 3. lolx.. thanks for sharing.. o.. sorry i can't help with grammar and stuff like that.. i only read and enjoy the story... hope u don't mind.... thank again..........

  • Hi again! OK, when you write it's a new day, I liked my showers, anything like that it makes it seem like Brittany had been there fora while. Try something like (Again not exactly)

    The day might be new, but the sameness of life I used to knew had slowly began fading over the last few days.

    Stuck in this room, I had no place to regain my head, remember, somehow, someway I would see my family and friends again. As the warm water from the shower would wash over me, I would remember, it's only been two days.

    Again, moving pace too quickly with the I hate chandler part. You really have to make Brittany think that one through, piece it together.

    I'll let you figure out a way to do that.

    Make the piece with Phillip more in detail. Try and make readers almost feel the burning in their neck, you know?

    When Chandler tells Brittany about how she has a 30% chance of living or staying human, make it more agonizing, like you can feel the pain. And also try to stay clear of certain numbers. Try saying something more along the lines of there is a very slim chance, you may, you'll probably.

    Other than that, very good. Can't wait for more

  • I think this is going to be a really great story once it gets going. Already I'm intrigued.

    I think it would be nice to see a little bit of Brittney's humor that we keep hearing about! She seems like an interesting person!

    It would be fun to read a chapter from Chandler's perspective; maybe while he's fighting Phillip?

    I would just like to say that I love the names of all of your characters! You have excellent taste!

    Thanks for the read!!!

  • i really like this story plot,
    corrections: the 1st line of the last paragragh reads 'I started to band of the window begging them to stop but there was no response in that, the kept going at it.' was it meant to be 'bang on the window'? and the 'y' is missed off 'they'.
    thats my contribution to corrections
    keep going, i want to read more.

1 - 7 of 7