“Start the spaceship!” Sasha cried, as her assistants worked on in its insides.1
Sasha spent most of her time whizzing from planet to planet in search of new planets. She had run away from home, even though her father had warned her not to go out without him, to witness a dying star. 2
On the return journey, the spaceship had run out of fuel. Sasha’s worst nightmare of being stuck in the middle of nowhere, the situation every space traveller dreaded, was coming true right in front of her eyes, and she had no choice but to bear the situation. She could only hope that the assistants would be able to do something to get it started again.3
There was no hope, and she could sense it.4
“I’m sorry but we’re stuck,” the assistant said tonelessly. “We’ve sent out the rescue signal, and we can only hope that the rescue spaceship will come soon.”5
Sasha muttered curses under her breath. She knew it would probably be ages before the spaceship came. She went to her cabin and slammed the door angrily. The effect was felt by everyone in the ship and it didn’t take long for an aura of negativity to spread around.6
Sasha instantly regretted the moment the door closed behind her with a slam. “What kind of a leader are you? You are supposed to spread optimism,” she thought to herself. But she was too tired to reassure anyone of their lives. She just wanted to go to sleep.7
A few hours later, she woke up, and opened the door. She was greeted by an eerie silence. 8
“Hello?” she asked. “Anyone there?”9
Her question bounced off the walls of the spaceship and echoed itself. But no one answered. Feeling puzzled, and secretly frightened, she ventured out into the corridor. Her first thought was that everyone was taking a rest inside their cabins like she had done. She decided to while the time away before they woke up.10
But a few hours passed, and she realized, a feeling of dread rising in her throat that something was wrong. “It’s a large spaceship,” she mused, “Something must have happened at the other end.”11
She stepped out and walked the length of the corridor, straining her ears for any noises. But there were none. She started feeling hopeless as energy drained out of her. She had traversed half of the spaceship, and found no one. It occurred to her that she was walking in a circle.12
“Maybe they went back to where they were earlier,” she thought. But something inside her heart knew what was happening. And it was telling her to hide. She ignored her instinct and continued on her search for living creatures within the ship.13
Suddenly, the lights went off.14
Sasha froze. She knew then that there was an intruder in the ship. Her foot made a squelching noise as she stepped on something. She peered down, and could clearly make out, despite the darkness, that it was the body of someone. The body of someone who was dead.15
She screamed, and instantly a wave of fright and regret hit her. “What have you done?” she thought panicking. “You have drawn attention to yourself. The intruder will trace it back to you.”16
But her senses were blinded with paranoia. She ran in the corridors, and started noticing how many dead bodies were scattered on the floor. It occurred to her again that perhaps she was running straight towards the intruder. But she didn’t care. She just wanted to run. It made her feel safe.17
She stopped as she heard the growl.18
“Oh dear, what have you got yourself into?” she thought, terrified.19
She backed away slowly, as the creature slowly advanced towards her."This is just an illusion," she told herself, but she knew that the creature was real. She started running again, but she knew it was useless. It had trapped her. Even if the rescue ship came right at that moment, nothing would be able to save her.20
"Nothing can save you," the creature called out. Sasha could not make any sense of the foreign language.21
The lights abruptly switched on, and she widened her eyes in horror at the creature standing in front of her. It had pink skin and a long slender body unlike Sasha’s blue, pudgy one. She noticed how the creature had big, blue eyes compared to her green slits.22
“Who are-no what are you?” she asked, though she knew the answer.23
“I’m a human,” the creature said.24
A contest entry
- Quick Prompts by WritersEffigy.
300 points, ended July 10, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Space The Final Frontier..... by Marta.
100 points, ended November 3, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Science fiction -o- rama! by Darkteen54.
175 points, ended November 21, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Thank you to WritersEffigy for the prompt. I don't know about the story, but the prompt was very good!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Delightful
Great twist at the end. I forget the order of star life, but is the dying star our sun? This was a very good tale, well written, succint, and the great ending. Very enjoyable as much for it's brevity as it's ending.

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Amazing.


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Not bad at all for a quick write. Exactly what I was looking for in my contest. Good luck.


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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short and fantastic, an excellent blend of sci-fi and horror. I loved the ending, i never in a million years saw that coming, so cool. I was thinking that it'd be like a mostrous four-legged beast.
I can't even describe how awesome this was, great suspense, dialogue and it was rich with appropriate description.

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First of all, great job! I really liked it, especially the ending.
What drew me to your story was the name of the first character: Sasha. It is a quite common name in Russia, and that drew my attention as I am half-Russian.
For a short story, it was pretty good. You can also make it into a novel because there are so many details that can be presented to the reader, like more detail Sasha's background and why her father told her not to leave without him, what the dying star is and why she wanted to go there so badly, what happened to the father when he discovered his daughter was gone, where she got the ship from, who are the crew... These are just some ideas, and they would make the main character more round and developed. That is if you ever think of making this into a longer story. Otherwise, it being a short story, it was just fine!
I respect you for the ending. I truly do. I never expected it. I mean, Sasha, to me, was a human from the very beginning. But the turn of events in the end... Wow! her being an alien and the human invading the ship. I really liked it, because I think it has a message as well. We are the aliens to other forms of life, and the destruction that the human resulted in is as horrible as... Aaaah! It's even difficult to explain now, when I'm under the effect of the ending. It was like a sci-fiction about an alien, but reversed.
Good job! Beautiful and clever ending!

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Hey, that was pretty clever. I liked it. The writing was good too. Nice job.
beginning: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, characters: 3.
1 - 6 of 6





