1
Three years in a hole of my own making. 2
Trauma so severe my mind blocked life out.3
Then a sweet voice I’d never heard came. “Mommy?4
“Hush angel, she is taking a nap.”5
“Ok, I sing so she wakes up.”6
“you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.”7
“Hi” I think I should know you.8
“Mommy!”9
Author notes
another 55 words.
Life gives us some amazing moments.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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the sun shines in a child
a child can make a miracle and this poem proves it ;nice
soul write here ...reaches through all pains of life. -
pretty good!
This is short, and I don't usually like short poems as I tend to feel that they don't say as much as they might. But this is pretty good nonetheless. I have no children that I know of, but if I did, I can certainly see myself learning so much from them and being inspired by them immeasureably. Good job! -
This is so beautiful... words fail me.
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My thought was that she had never met her daughter. That maybe she was pregnant and in a big time accident or something and slipped away from that.
Now the child is old enough to break the barrier.
That was where i was coming from, but what is coolest about these is anyone can bring their own perspective in as you have. -
A mighty big hole when one ceases to love ones daughter. I have seen this to some extent...unfortunately I had to be a witness as she became absorbed in a fantasy for another guy, lol. But she'd just go off in her head and lie in her room for hours and cry and write how evil I was for not going home to Maine (I was trying to finish school there.)
Anyway, your character's depression/real injury hopefully was awakened by her daughter's love.
I guess that is the question. Is it depression or some type of self injury like drug a overdose, etc. The work trauma is sort of ambiguous, so I'm still left unsure of which. The line, "I think I should know you" I guess lends weight toward an actual coma. Ok, off to put myself into a Moxie coma.
Edited on Aug 21, 6:41 because 'it didn't make sense the way it was.'. -
I actually sing this to some of the kids and change sunshine to their nme the second time thru.
Yeah kids do know.
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Miranda has a habit of putting things in her mouth. Today when I asked what was in her mouth, her answer was "just kisses". So innocent and yet they seem to know exactly what it is we need to hear.
Great story.
John -
Wow. You and Kimberly tug on the heart strings here. Wonderfully written dear Susan
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There must be something about that song that touched a lot of us from that particular era in life. I had ex boyfriend die in an automobile accident as I cradled his head in my lap and his last request was that I sing that song for him because I had done it so often in the past. This made me cry. You did a beautiful job here Susan.
♥ Kimberly
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