I Dream...

Weird things have been happening to me. I don’t know why. I don’t even know how....Or what. It seems I don’t know anything anymore. But I dream...I dream of many things. Sometimes I dream of the same thing....over and over and over. And I wake up. And I can’t remember. No matter how I try....I cannot...grasp....whatever I need to grasp...1

Weird things have been happening to me. Help. Help me. Help me remember...I need to remember. Please...help me. Help. Me. Remember.2

I dream....I........dream...3

Nothing. There is nothing. Not that nothing of silence, not the nothing I’m  used to...Just simply....nothing. The nothing of....absence. Then there is that light. A light. I could not tell you the source...it was source less. A white blinding light. No heat is coming from it...no warmth at all. It is simply...there. It burns though, it burns so bad. It blinds me...a white blinding light....I feel so dirty...4

I am dressed. I could not tell you what I was dressed in...but I was dressed. I was dressed in white. All white. It makes me feel so weird. I WANT TO SCREAM. Get this off of me please! Get it OFF. Please....it doesn’t fit...it can’t fit...so white....I feel so dirty...5

I raise my hands to my face. I sweep my gnarled red hair out of eyes...and  I stare...My skin is pale...so very pale...I feel so tired...so worn...I want to close my eyes, and fall asleep....a nice peaceful sleep...But something keeps me awake...I know I must stay awake. Must...stay...awake...6

Wait. I think I see something....just over that ridge....but what ridge? There are no ridges here....remember? White...it’s all white...But something’s there. I swear...I could swear. Can’t you see it too....keep looking....7

I squint...hard...harder....HARDER. But then....not so hard. I stopped. I stopped squinting....They’re all around me. I’m surrounded. Wait...not them.......it. Paintings...or at least canvases....so many of them...must be a million at least. Each one was on an easel, covered in a white sheet. 8

I stumble, trying to make my way around these...things. They were all different sizes...so many...so big...so small...all of them hidden by that single white sheet. 9

I got this crazy compulsion. I don’t know why...or how...but I did. I couldn’t stop myself. I spun around wildly, stumbling again, to the nearest canvas. I lifted the sheet, then the next sheet, and the next. Nope...not the right one...nope...not that either....10

I had to look at them all....I HAD TO. I had to...I looked under one and I had to look at another...another...another...another....ANOTHER....and another....11

Oh! If only I could find the right one! Now I was scrambling, running from each and every canvas, tearing, ripping, that white sheet off. No! NOOOOO! Not the right...no...not the right one....never the right one...12

PANIC. Panic....I could not do it all...BUT I HAD TO! I HAD TO.13

There wasn’t enough time...never enough time...always enough time....always...but never....14

I stumbled once more...and I could not get back up......I couldn’t...The tears that come of failure trickled slowly down my face. My matted hair stuck to the sweat on my face. I tasted the salt in my mouth...the tears of failure. I could not move...I could not even blink. My souls thirst wasn’t quenched, my dirty hands where still dirty, my unkempt hair was still unkempt...I realized I was too late...too late to be saved...too late...too late....... way...way...too late....15

Will you wake up from this dream before you find what you’re looking for? I hope not...because I did....I woke up from this dream called Life. I woke up before I should’ve. Before I found what I was looking for...or at least...what my soul was yearning for. 16

There are millions of them. Those who wake up before they should. They never found what they were looking for...but they had a chance. They had hope. But not any more...they gave away their chances...they sold their hope....I hope you don’t. Because I did. 17

What I could not remember...I remember now...it’s the last thing I will ever remember...ever...18

My name is Clara Williams. I am...was...22 years old. I had a life ahead of me...but I was hit by a car. The doctors said I never had a chance. And I didn’t. But you do...you do....And it’s your choice if you ever take that chance...and I hope you do. Because I didn’t....I didn’t....19