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Van Halen blared powerfully as I yelled my name, "hi, I'm John." She smiled and happily I moved closer. Now, inches from her hair, I could smell vanilla perfume as I asked for her's. Silent in the pulsing din, she said nothing. Drawing back, thinking I had offended, I watched as she signed, “I’m deaf.”2
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Someone earlier put 'funny' to comment on this. Its witty perhaps, but I really like it. Looking through the contest theres a lot of competition, this is definetley a contender though. Good luck!
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A striking scene in few words. The encounter came to life in the reading and I can give no greater compliment than that. Very vivid.
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I can relate to this somewhat, as I have a dear friend, the old uncle of my partner, who was left deaf due to a childhood illness. He was very young at the time and of course,learned to accept it. He doesn't sign but manages to communicate quite well by expression, gesture and demeaner.
You've written a very poignant story of an impressive moment in time.
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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WoW! I can just imagine the awkwardess and it's not hard for me to do. I have a friend who not only loves to dance, but is an actual sign teacher at a local college here. She was born deaf and has immaculate skills at reading lips as well, but it's funny how people still treat her "differently". Having never heard words, when she speaks, her speech is chunky... for lack of a better description. I don't know if this is what throws people and causes them to pull away or if it's just that ignorance and fear factor so many people have around those who are handicapped or different. This is superb John. Good luck in the contest.
♥ Kimberly
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haha...good one!! and good luck on the contest!!
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yep 55 words
John -
you have drawn this moment so well. I can hear the music and feel it. The awkward encounter made even more so with her reply. 55 words can say little or it can say alot. Yours says a great deal.
Thank you and good luck
Susan -
For some reason I didn't think this was funny but sad.. I had a friend that was deaf who loved to go clubbing, everyone thought she was rude. And she wasn't just the opposite. She could feel the beat in the floor though and loved that.. Wonderful way to make people look at it from another angle John.. Take Care, Catressa
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i would of written a note saying "i been meaning to learn sign"
which i have just haven't done it yet... oh drat.
this was a good fifty-five worder. i had one bit of minor confusion tho... "I could smell vanilla perfume as I asked for her's." "her's" confused me because i wondered her what... maybe because you gave your name two lines back or else i just have a very short attention span tonight. it's my humble opinion and i thought you'd want me to be honest. -
I went to college for four years to be a secondary teacher ___ I took one look at those wild ones and dropped out. lol
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Very funny. It took a moment to realize she couldnt understand you if your mouth was out of view.
Well written.
Talia -
I tried to respond to this poem earlier. I've had so many uncomfortable experiences like this and never knew what to say till two days later.
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heh ... enjoyed this ... nicely done John .... all the best in the contest >>> EM
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