Good Mourning

The day started out like any other, the morning all the same. I recall the traces of sunlight crept through my dusty blinds to cast a warm hue about my room. 7:30. The radio softly played a song from long ago. I couldn't recall the words. Still, the morning was like the morning before, just a morning. I climbed slowly out of bed, streching my tired, old bones with a primal grunt and stood. The brown carpet tickled at my feet as I walked to the bathroom with a yawn. 1

"Just another morning" I spoke as I turned the light on and reached for my toothbrush. It was in the same spot it always was. Same as everything, everyday. I brushed my teeth and turned the shower on. Steam filled my lungs and fogged the mirror. I climbed it. It was what I expected. A shower - no more, no less. Water ran from my every crevace as I yawned again and lathered myself. 2

I grabbed my towel and dried myself off. The breeze from the air condition sent shivers down my spine as I walked back into the bedroom and over to the closet. I dressed for work - black suit and tie, the ussual. I combed my hair like it always is, neatly to the side. 7:50. Got to go to work.3

I walked out of my room into the kitchen. The musty smell still overwhelms me. Barely any light. I should really let some sunlight in here. I walk to the couch and see the young girl laying there. I made the knots extra tight. 7:55, almost time for work. She tried to speak but it was muffled by the ball-gag in her mouth.4

Time to work. I wake the girl. She cried and moaned. It's always the same. I walk to the kitchen table and lay my tools out - clean, sharp, sterile. I get to work. The girl doesn't say a word, just cries. 5

7:30. Work is finished. She looks so beautiful. She doesnt cry anymore. No need for the gag. She is smiling at me. So beautiful. So innocent. I brush her hair with my fingers. So soft. I smile back at her and she keeps smiling. I kiss her lips. She remains silent. She likes it. She is still smiling when I wash the blood from my hands. 6

I take a shower and undress. She is waiting for me in the living room. I come to her in only my flesh. She wants me. I want her so bad. I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom and lay her on the bed. She still smiles at me. I cover her naked body with the bed sheet before I walk to the other side of the bed.7

7:40. She is still smiling at me. I love her so much. I can feel her love. She wants me so bad now I can smell her excitement. I pull the covers off the other side of the bed. Another person in bed, another woman. I smile as I pick up the stranger. He body was stiff and pale. Sad, she wasn't smiling anymore. She was yesterday before I went to bed. I walk to the closet and open it, putting her inside. There is a stack now. Seven. I close the closet. Still, the young girl on the bed smiles to me. I smile back.8

7:45. We make love. It was so passionate. We have grown so close. I love her as much as she loves me. She wants to stay the night. I smile to her. She smiles at me. 9

7:55. I kiss her lips and wrap my arms around her before I click the light off. She is safe in my arms. She was so scared earlier. Now she is safe. I will never let her go. 10

7:30. The day started like any other. I awoke to an old familiar song I couldn't recall the words to. I get up and streach and yawn and smile to myself.11

Just another morning.12

Author notes

I wanted to envoke a sense of normality in the most morbid of things for this person. Show the real horror in a sense of repetition.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Dr. Psycho silver member
    August 6

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    Very good! I like that it was descriptive and graphic. I have not read any necrophilia-stories on SW, so this was my first.

    I agree with hobo kiti that the beginning wasn't great, but the ending was. Which, I really liked the plot twist.
    This story really does fit my contest.

    Good Luck! and thanks for entering


    ~ MetalheadX


  • hobo kiti
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    Good. I appreciate you leaving out any extremely graphic necrophilia. I woulda read it, but I din't wanna.

    I like your idea a lot, and the story was great. I wasn't crazy about how it began. There are a lot of ways you can write about routine and repitition without saying "it was a normal day" over and over again. That was annoying. It seems like really cliché forshadowing- y'know?

    "I climbed slowly out of bed, streching my tired, old bones with a primal grunt and stood. The brown carpet tickled at my feet as I walked to the bathroom with a yawn."--stuff like that is good. Also the paragraph below it WITHOUT the guy telling himself it was a normal day and a normal shower. BECAUSE if you think about it normally that doesn't happen. People take the ordinary for granted, right? You DONT wake up and talk to yourself about how normal the day is going... uh... do you? I don't, anyway.

    I was surprised by how much I liked this Great Job, you creepy mother fucker!


    • r4gg3tyM4n
      August 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks alot for the honest and straightforeward review! I definately appriciate it. It was a quick write and I was sure I needed some more work on it, since I myself was actually bored at work when i wrote this. I will definately give it another read and thanks a bunch! When I get some time at work i will repay the favor and read some of your work!


  • VainfulSideEffects
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    Woah! This was very very weird, but great in a sick twisted way lol. You should keep up with this.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • r4gg3tyM4n
      July 22
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. That is what i was shootin for. Actually, i didnt know where the hell it was going because i was just zoned out and writing it at work between patients, but hell, i guess it is pretty sick and weird, awesome! Thanks


  • LindaIsMe
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what say.
    Nice writing:yes
    Was it good: yes
    Was it weird: yes
    Wonderful job however. Good luck in my contest and thanks for entering

    • r4gg3tyM4n
      July 22
      Edit | Reply
      oh, if you havent guess either, my story does have several of the seven sins in it. I just dont spell it out for you as much as the others. Read between the lines and find them all


    • r4gg3tyM4n
      July 22
      Edit | Reply
      haha was this suppose to be a good review or a bad review?!? i dunno!

      • LindaIsMe
        July 22
        Edit | Reply
        It was a good review I like weird thing, so long as they aren't miles upon miles of pages long. And yes I did happen to find most of the sins.


  • Duke1985
    July 20

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    so sick it made me happy

    Holy bloody hell Rob. I'm loving the hell out of this. I think you got a good solid piece here. Given the proper venue I think it could be published in a collection. Great work keep this up.

    • r4gg3tyM4n
      July 20
      Edit | Reply
      thanks man. this came out of me being bored at work one day. REALLLLLLY bored. besides, necrophilia is everyone's favorite pasttime!

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