For Nathan:1
I always thought we had belonged together. When I closed my eyes, I saw you kiss me and tell me you loved me. My heart raced when I heard your voice or saw your once beautiful face. I didn't care what ANYONE thought; I was deeply in love with you. I wished every night before I went to bed that you'd be my boyfriend. Though that obviously never happened, it didn't stop me one bit.2
You made me cry every night after you teased and ignored me at school. My friends would comfort me, hugging me after all of this and telling me the pain would go away, and that you were a jerk. I learned both of those things the hard way, however, by watching you and your friends repeat those words every day. "He doesn't wanna go out with you" stuck in my mind for months and months, never seeming to go away. And the harder I'd tried, you always found away to meet up with me when I was okay. 3
Finally, after all of this, I learned to be strong and move on. Your face still is in my head, but instead of loving me, you are in a ring of fire, burning to ashes that I was simply sweep up sooner or later. The invisible scars that you left on my heart are being left alone, with friends that care about me healing it throughly. The thing I'm trying to say, Nathan, is that we could've been so much more, and you know that, but you made me depressed so many nights that I wish I could take back. I'm glad the fighting and drama is over.4
Because of you I am scared. I will NEVER ask another boy out, for I am terrified about what he will do to me. I have enough scars on my heart, quenching for some love. I will hide in the corner from now to avoid all of the problems I went through with you. You may be laughing right now. Thats fine. I was probably the best girl that you'll ever come across, and you turned me down. This will not be the night that I will fall for you. No more sadness. 5
Author notes
angelic dragon, you suck
A contest entry
- RIGHT ME A STORY! WHOA WHO! by GypsyBorn.
350 points, ended October 18, 4 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Cold cruel world!!! by Lekos Memory.
140 points, ended August 6, 27 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Everything & Anything by Lost Soul 12.
450 points, ended November 2, 29 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - SONG PROMPTS! by Dual.Of.Fireflies.
350 points, ends December 10, 2 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Is it amazing?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Thank you for entering my contest!
Ex-crushes are a very sensitive topic, so I'm glad you could write about it! It should make a good story!
Oh, I feel the emotion your are trying to portray. The love, the hate, the sadness, and the friendship. A beautiful story! I loved the very last line! To put some emphasis on it, I would make it a paragraph on its own, and bold it. That would look really good!
This is a great story!
Errors:
Line 4, Para. 3: is "He doesn't wanna go out with you" should be 'He doesn't want to go out with you," (comma & space)
Line 3, Para. 4: is 'throughly' when it should be 'thoroughly'
Line 6, Para. 5: is 'Thats fine.' when it should be 'That's fine. -
Hmmm...I'm not going to critizise this because I'm mostly going after the ones that are wanting theirs to get published but this is fine.
You have great emotion of this and I don't doubt that they are real emotions either. Life can definitely make you write something powerful and this is a great example of that. I am sorry for you. I have most certainly been down the road you were on.
Thanks for entering.
-
be happy he doesn't seserve you kay
-
aww...Don't be sad, you deserve way better anyway. Great story, much improved. Stay smiley please and don't give up on love yet.
Caity
-
I loved how you incorporated the song. Bonus points because it's a song I adore. And not all guys are like that (thank GOD!) so don't just give up on love because of one idiot.
-
FIrst off let me say your really brave to even try and ask him out. This is a really good story and it is pretty amazing.
My Fave line: "This will not be the night that I will fall for you."
hehe..
Nice write
-Melissa
-
do not give up love.
eric
-
I felt that the emotion came across very realistically.
It read like the sort of letter you want to send, but end up pressing the delete button and letting the emotions left unsaid. Don't worry about rejection though. At the time it's awful, but the pain doesn't last forever.
-
Don't give up on love. Don't be afraid to ask a guy out. I asked one out, and he said no to me, face to face. It hurt, alot. But my friends convinced me to forget about him. and now, whenever I think about him, I think: "He's such a bitch. why did I even like him?" He was a total jerk(for some oter reasons as well.). But don't be afraid to get your heart broken, because it is only that way that you'll find someone who likes you to be your boyfriend. oh, and you've defintetly improved with your writing. Good job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
This is like a poetic diary entry. Don't worry they'll be someone for you out there.
-
I agree, much improved. And yes, there's emotion in it.
I like it. And don't worry, you'll find someone that will treat you so much better.
-
This is probably the best piece of writing hat I've read from you. I agree, you have improved. You're so lucky to have your friends to support you.
Even though your scars won't ever fully heal, they will mend more in time. And don't be afraid to fall in love again. You will find someone that cares about you, even if it takes a lot of pain.
*KT*
-
don't worry
u'll find someone who will truly like u
my bff asked out 3 boys for me this year
they all said no, but i'm still friends with them
i'm going to keep looking
and u should, too
good story
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
-
Thank you!
-
Your writing is much improved. A very nice wtory, well written.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
