Somewhere in a land that is known as America, Misty McKenna and her younger sister Nora stared out the window of their townhouse. Their black Afghan Hound, Trincomalee, watched the rain pour down soulfully.1
Nora sighed. Her blond hair fell across her face, and her hazel eyes were just as intent as her dog’s as she looked at the gloomy scene.2
Random thoughts fluttered across Misty’s mind. She could always go online and check her e-mail. She loved getting e-mail. Especially when it was from...3
Nora broke the silence. “Why don’t we play charades, Misty?” she inquired with a yawn.4
“Oh, go take a nap. You sound like you need it.” snapped Misty, drawn from her thoughts.5
Nora’s voice became solemn. “Dead serious, Misty. Remember how fun last time was?”6
Misty became even more snappish. “That was freaking boring. Why don’t you read a book or something? Isn’t there that one you have to do for a book report?”7
“You’re becoming mean, Misty. I’m just bored, that’s all.”8
“Well, if you’re bored, do something. I’m going online.”9
Nora frowned. Why didn’t she think of that? She headed up the stairs and into her room, while Misty went across the hall to use the other computer. They were looking daggers at each other all the way. Trincomalee looked after them, then decided to fall asleep upon the couch. Her raven black hair dripped over the edge of the couch as she shut her eyes and slept.10
Misty moved the sleek white mouse and the screen came alive. She opened a browser and proceeded to check her e-mail. A ding from the chat application interrupted the sound of guitars. It was Nora. The message clearly read, “I’m still bored. I hope you aren’t. I found a cool site to look at.” Without a second thought, Misty blocked her sister and went on to the e-mail.11
Meanwhile, Nora was engrossed in the website she had found. A graphic of a reddish-orange graced the screen, while a chunk of text described the magical creature, the phoenix. It was a beautiful bird, with red plumage and golden wings. Nora had read about phoenixes in books before, but never so in depth. 12
The phoenix possesses magical properties, including the ability to breathe fire.13
This startled Nora. Wasn’t it dragons that could spout flames? Nevertheless, she continued.14
Phoenixes are very large birds, often several feet larger than a human. They also15
have the power to be immortal...16
Nora narrowed her eyes. Did she read correctly? All the phoenixes she read about in books were significantly smaller. They also lived to be a few hundred years old, and were certainly not immortal. Who wrote this article anyway?17
Nora stopped reading and scrolled down. The article was very long, but there was one link at the very bottom of the page. She clicked on it gingerly.18
Nora’s browser quit and her screen went black. Her eyes widened. A link wasn’t supposed to do this! She calmed down at the sight of a thunderbolt outside. So that was what had caused it. A simple storm. 19
She lay back in her chair. This was the single most interesting that had happened today. She made her way downstairs to see if Misty was okay. What she saw astonished her.20
A large black bird in the living room glared at her with golden-brown eyes. Caught in its talons was a petrified Misty. It had a long red crest, and the tips of its wings and long tail were also a florid hue. It had a silver bangle studded with opals on its foot. 21
The bird was as silent as Nora was. Nora was too sensible a girl to scream. The bird was at least twice her height, so it made no sense to attack it. Besides, the hooked beak and talons looked fearsome. She decided the sanest thing to do was to ask it who it was.22
“Pardon, who are you?” she asked, in a trembling, ginger tone. She waited, while Misty threw looks like daggers at her. Trincomalee appeared from behind a couch. The dog did not look as if she had been cowering behind it. To the contrary, she had a glow of triumph in her expressive brown eyes, and her dark fur was as black as the bird’s feathers.23
Suddenly, it struck Nora. The bird-- it was a phoenix! It was black rather than red, but it was tall and resembled the bird in the graphic greatly. 24
When the bird had not responded, Nora spoke again. “You’re a phoenix, aren’t you?”25
The bird widened its eyes. “So you know!”26
Nora nodded. “I was just reading about phoenixes,” she said solemnly.27
The great avian loosened its grip on Misty. “I should like you two-- and your dog-- to accompany me to the land I hail from.”28
Nora was mystified. “Whatever for?” she exclaimed. As boring as her life was, she didn’t want to leave it.29
The bird frowned. “My name is Dirge Shadowtalon of the Dark Phoenixes,” she said, her facial feathers turning a slight reddish shade. This gave her an owlish appearance. “I come from a land far away. There are some malignant creatures in our land, known as unicorns, I believe, and they wish to imprison our kind and rule the land.” Here the bird lowered her eyes. “We cannot allow this to happen. This is why we have called upon you and your sister.”30
Nora was even more puzzled. Misty spoke first. “Why us, though? What can Nora and I offer? And aren’t unicorns supposed to be good?”31
Here, the bird smiled slightly. “Miss McKenna! You and your sister do not understand the power you hold. As for the unicorns,” continued Dirge uneasily, “there’s a long story behind them. But you must believe us and fight for our cause. Even your world is at risk from their domination.”32
Misty sighed. When she was smaller, the thought of unicorns ruling the world would have caused her great elation. The desperation behind the suave in the bird’s eyes convinced her. Wherever this great creature was from, she needed their help. And she was going to get it. “Won’t our family miss us?” asked Nora.33
Dirge sighed. “Alas. That is true. Unlike in many fantasy books you’ve read, time does not pass differently between parallel universes. It’s a sacrifice you must accept. Or else I’ll make you,” she added in a sadistic tone. A flicker of bright orange flame escaped her beak.34
Nora saw straight past the bird’s intimidation. “We’ll come,” she said finally. 35
The bird raised her head and smiled. “I knew you’d see it my way.”36
In a flash of blue flames, Dirge, Misty, Nora, and Trincomalee were gone from the living room, which now had iridescent black feathers sprinkled around it. 37
The quartet reappeared in a modern house. It was furnished with eclectic artifacts but still had traces of technology, like a sleek computer. Dirge stood gracefully on her hematite taloned feet, but Nora and Misty tumbled to the floor, their clothes slightly charred. Trincomalee jumped onto a couch and immediately made herself at home. Dirge broke the uneasy silence. “This is going to be your home, girls. Get used to it.”38
Nora and Misty looked around in wonder. It was a spacious studio apartment, with a huge bay window. The window had a lovely view to the rest of the city, which was fairly quiet on a Sunday afternoon. Brilliantly colored tropical birds fluttered through the air, while unicorns, gryffins, and other terrestrial creatures went about their business below. 39
The apartment itself was beautiful. The ceiling was very high, no doubt to make room for phoenixes. A glass coffee table reflected light from a modern styled chandelier. Plush chairs surrounded the table, resting on a half-marble, half-carpet floor. Misty’s eyes drifted to the computer and she smiled. Dirge saw her look.40
“If you wish to pay for the Internet connection, you must get a job.” Misty sighed. Who knew what kind of jobs one could get here?41
Nora was taken by the fact that one could even acquire an Internet connection here. She glanced at the kitchen. Dirge’s eyes noticed this too.42
“A cook will be coming to serve you high class dishes.” The phoenix smiled. “All in all, you will be having a very luxurious life here compared to much of the other population.” She caught Misty’s eyes. “And if you wish to obtain a job, you will turn on the computer and find a telemarketing career for Gryps Inc. Feather Polishing. An escort will take you to the Clan Headquarters tomorrow. Good day!”43
With this, Dirge disappeared in a flash of blue flames less powerful than the last. Nora and Misty looked at each other incredulously, then glanced at their dog, who had curled up peacefully on the comfy couch and was fast asleep.44
Author notes
Chapter Two, guys! Enjoy!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Small typo here methinks.
"Remember how fun last time was?” - insertion of 'much'
between 'how' and 'fun'?
Is there a plural to Phoenix? I honestly don't know.
Liked this line:
"Nora was mystified. “Whatever for?” she exclaimed. As boring as her life was, she didn’t want to leave it."
Nice bit of ironic humour.
Well it's coming along nicely. There is enough mystery to keep the reader interested, and just enough movement to carry the story forward.
I do think, however, and I'm not being pedantic, that some words could be edited out, without detracting from the storyline. This is a very personal opinion and not one you should worry about.
"She decided the sanest thing to do was to ask it who it was."
Do you think this might sound better as:-
"She decided the most sensible thing to do was to ask it who it was." - AGAIN, just a personal opinion.
I rather like the way this story is combining both ancient and modern (yes I did go to church once, and used hymn books
)and look forward to reading more.
My comments are made from a writer's, rather than reader's point of view, and only contain the sort of things I would do, if I had written this.
Thank you for sharing
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Another great chapter! You still have lots of great description and the characters are still pretty well rounded.I look forward to reading the next one and seeing how the story develops.
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I look forward to seeing how this story unfolds, it has the makings of a very entertaining write. Well done.
