A slit of the wrist,1
A feeling of shame,2
He wouldn't be missed,3
If his end soon came,4
"I'm fed up with this"5
He cries out in pain,6
Unheard were his words,7
His cry was in vain.8
Tears slide down his cheek,9
He picks up the phone,10
His voice is so weak,11
He hopes she's alone,12
She answers "Hello?"13
And he tells her the truth,14
She cries in silence,15
"I'm done with you."16
She picks up her razor,17
As he does his,18
Sadly enough,19
It is what is...20
A slit of the wrist,21
And their done with this..22
Two bodies crash,23
To the floor below,24
He loved her much more,25
Than she would ever know.26
Author notes
I sad story I wrote when I was depressed.
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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hmm
this is very depressing but in many ways connected with me. I love it. Aloough i hate it. but i thank you for writing. it. its wonderful.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
thats how i feel like no one would miss me if i were 2 slit my wrists bleed out and die that poem is so sad
i love it tho -
sad... flowed well and the rhyming was well done.
Only one error:
Line 22: And their done with this..
wrong form. they're (not their)
Overall, this was a powerful and emotional story-poem. Enjoyed the read. Good work.
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That was one powerful poem! It betrayed a lot of emotions. Great job!
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woo
powerfull
i love this
i can so relate -
Heart Breaking
Beautifully written, moving and sad.
Suicide is always one of the best and interesting genres for me, haha, the weird psyco I am.
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This is so heart breaking. I love it so much because as melancholy as it is, it's still so beautiful. The flow is nice and the rhymes are good because they're not really corny or anything. I like your style. Keep it up.
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deep
this poem is very touching. imagine if this happened in real life. and i love that the entire poem had a nice rhythm as i was reading it. it is very intense, and i think the guy loves her more because she killed herself when she found out he was going to kill himself.
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Actually he loved her the whole time....He killed himself because he was starting to think his love was fading...And he knew that if he left her she would kill herself...He couldn't handle being with anymore because he THOUGHT he didn't love her so he broke up with her.....Knowing she was going to kill herself he killed himself as well unable to live without her.
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Wow,
Whoa.
This is so sad.
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Whoa... That was really intense. What I would really like to see, is if you made this an on-going story, and did like before they killed themselves, what made life so hard, why her why him, you know? I would DEFIANTLY read that!!! Good luck!!!
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