My Kid Sister

The last thing I remember clearly is riding my bike home...last night?...from Jesse's house. I was supposed to be home before dark, but didn't quite make it. I knew Mom was going to go to town on my behind! Every minute I was late meant a more severe punishment so I cut through the woods behind the railroad tracks to make a near-straight line toward my street. 1

I was kind of creeped out. I didn't realize how dark it would be among the trees, but I sucked it up and pedalled as fast as I could. The trail I was on deposited at the top of the 'T', directly across from where my street meets Windsor Avenue. 2

I was in a really big hurry and it was late. What were the chances that there would be a car coming at the exact same moment I hit the asphault? I gambled. I lost. It happens.3

I remember my front tire hitting the shoulder. The handle bars wobbled and I had to really latch on to keep from tipping over. I was concentrating so hard I didn't notice the car until it tried to screech to a stop. I looked to my left, only to be blinded by its headlights. I forgot about trying to control my bicycle. Big mistake. I felt myself starting to lean to the right and skid toward the car. Then I heard this really loud thud and saw myself lying on Windsor Avenue half way to the next cross street. I thought I must be in a helicopter or something because the whole scene was way down below me. I looked like a combination of those dead body outlines they show on the police movies and a rag doll. Weird!4

The next thing I know, I wake up in my own bed, next to Elsa's crib, just like normal. She is crying as usual, go figure! I feel fine, so I think the whole thing must have been a dream, right? So I lay there like normal waiting for my mom to come in and get the baby only she never comes and the baby keeps crying and crying. Our door is ajar and I can see the light from the hall is on, but no Mom. I turn to face the wall and pull my pillow case over my head to block her out, but of course I can still hear her!5

"Mom!" I call out and wrap my pillow around the top of my head like a bonnet and hold it down with my hands.6

Elsa just kept on screaming.7

"MOM--THEBABY'SCRYIN!!!!!!!" I scream staccato style while kicking my feet like it's my first day in swim class. I know she's going to yell at me for being so impatient, but I just can't take it anymore!8

Still no Mom.9

"WAH WAH WAH WAH!" Elsa is really pissed and for some reason the sound of her started to make me feel panicked more than annoyed. I guess it was the way she was so demanding about the whole thing.10

I got to get control over the fear that's starting to make my arm hair stand up, so like Billy Badass, I tear the pillow from my head with my right hand while I'm whirling my feet over the side to sit up. I throw back my blankets with my left hand and jump to my feet. I feel a little better, but here's where it gets weird again...11

I'm standing two feet away, facing her crib with the light from the hall streaming in on us, only I can't exactly see her. I know she's there because she's still screaming and I can see her pink fuzzy thing standing, leaning over the bars. But I can't see...her.12

That stupid panic thing hits me again in a kind of a wave. Now all my hair is standing up like I'm standing in the middle of an electrical storm.13

"I must be going crazy," I think. "Wait a minute," I say out loud to myself, trying to stay on this side of crapping my pants. "Maybe it wasn't a dream. Maybe I did get hit by a car and I bumped my head or something."14

It seemed perfectly logical at the time. 15

Still I got this weird electrical-panicky-where-the-heck-is-my- mother thing going on and I can't stand it, so I lunge forward and scoop Elsa up from under her arms and lift her out of the crib.16

I know something's wrong because all of a sudden I feel really cold, like frozen, and I can't swallow or blink my eyes. Her chunky little body is warm, but hangs like dead weight and I realize she's kind of stiff and not moving.17

You know how when you're not really awake yet, but you have to do something that requires thought, it always turns into a big foggy mess? You know, like you're sleeping on the couch and your mom leaves the tea kettle on the burner in the kitchen while she goes outside to get the mail. You hear this shriek so you jump up and run around the corner sideways to turn it off real fast but you keep trying to turn off all the other burners and the oven while the kettle keeps screaming. Do you know what I'm talking about? That's what I'm going through.18

So I know something's wrong, but I can't think it through. All the numbers in the problem are circling around in my head like Freak Day on Sesame Street! I'm going, "Baby's still crying. I'm holding baby. Where's Mom? Baby feels wierd. The hall light is on. Baby's still crying. I'm holding baby."19

Then it hits me and I take a step back from the crib.20

I've got Elsa in my arms, but her crying is coming from inside her bed on the mattress. I am too freaked to look at her much less in her crib, but I get sucked into the moment like those stupid chicks in the horror movies and start inching over there anyway. 21

"WAH WAH WAH WAH!!"22

I squeeze her body tightly, still not looking at her and lean forward, pressing my elbows against the wooden bars. I peer through the darkness to see where all that blasted noise is coming from...23

Just then our door bursts open, slightly bouncing against the wall. Light from the hallway illuminates the room and I hear my mother's voice demand, "What's going on in here?!"24

Only I can't answer.25

Lying in the corner of her crib is Elsa's little pink head, white-blonde curls pasted to it with tears and sweat and blood. Her eyes are open wide, but rolled back. All I can focus on is that one little white tooth on her bottom gum as her mouth works to scream, "WAH WAH WAH!!"26

I hold her body at arm's length and dare a peek. Her jammy sack is zipped all the way up. The skin of her neck is folded over like Mr. Anderson, the vet-guy's knee where he lost his lower leg in the war. "WAH WAH WAH!!"27

I toss her body like a hot potato--GROSS, man!! It hits the wall with a solid thump, bounces forward knocking over the Winnie the Pooh lamp on Elsa's dresser, and drops to the floor with a final thud.28

"M    O     M!!" I tried to exclaim, but the word wouldn't come out anything more than a wheeze. Wide-eyed and terrified I wheeled around toward the door and stopped short. Where did she go?29

"I said, What's going on in here? Lisa, stop throwing your sister!"30

This is too much, ohmyGod I can't see her either.31

I put my arms out to feel my way in front of me as if I was blind. I guess it was my idiotic way of coping, as if I felt like I couldn't trust my eyes any more. I flailed them from side to side as I took tentative steps toward the hall.32

"Lisa! What's the matter with you?" I could hear my mom say, but still couldn't see her. Step. Step. "Hey! Watch out!"33

Just as she speaks, I feel the big toe of my left foot bump something firm, but fleshy so I stop and look down to see what it is. (That stupid feeling again!!!)34

There on the floor is my mother's head, eyes rolled back, shouting the words, "You'd better get back to bed, Young Lady!!"35

I open my mouth automatically to say, "yes, ma'am" but all that comes out is, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"36