I got up from the table, put my dishes away and told my mother what my plans for the night were1
I took my cat to my room and planned on spending my night on the computer, talking to my friends, adding and commenting on MySpace, and writing a poem I had been working on for the past couple of weeks. As I sat down, I noticed an orange flashy button at the bottom of my screen, I had no idea who it was from... but the IM wasn’t pleasant I read silently 'will I end it, or keep the blood flowing in my veins... you decide' I was a little confused... I looked at the boy’s away message, it said the same thing... but his profile had a MySpace link and an AllPoetry link... I clicked them both. They both had basically the same thing written in them... but the photo on the MySpace was one I recognized from a while ago... it was a beautiful black rose with my name written across the black heart that surrounded the rose... under the comments it said, 'Roara' and next to the picture, was a quote 'i will always love you' a heart and his name. I was astonished. I knew who it was, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. 2
I took out my yearbook and turned through the pages, I knew the person signed my yearbook, but the question was, who? I kept leafing through the book until my eyes were glued to one photograph, Rob, my heart sank, and I had always had feelings for him. He was the guy who was always in the back of the classroom, always teased in lunch, and most ignored him. Whenever he came over with his mom (our moms were friends from a long time ago), Scooter wouldn’t leave him alone, which was rare because he only liked me. He wouldn’t go to anyone else even if they had fresh shrimp, his favorite. Just then, the phone rang 'I'll get it' I called behind my closed door.3
It was Rob; he told me that I was to meet him at the park at nine o'clock tonight, and to wear a sweatshirt. (Not that I wouldn’t, I always do... even in the summer) he sounded sick, he coughed occasionally and sniffed after every sentence. I agreed and looked at the clock; 7:45 exactly... I thought about it for a minute, he always used to call me at 7:45 to talk about the day, homework and Scooter. We were once best friends, but with age, we drew apart. We were both stereotyped, as Goths... but neither of us liked the term either way... we both had the same 'clique' if you will. But we never got to hang out as much. 4
After he hung up, I called a good friend, Raven and told her of the strange happenings; as I was doing so, Scooter was being himself and wanted to go outside, I went with him because it was nice and crisp out there. As soon as I opened the back door, Scooter bolted, running in the direction of the park. I knew he would be back soon enough, so I sad under our gazebo and watched the colourful leaves blow in the wind. As my neighbor JJ pulled in his driveway with his loud red Civic, I got a call on the other line, it was another one of my friends, Chelsea, I said goodbye to Raven and she wished me good luck. As soon as I went to the other line, I could feel something out of place, Chelsea's voice shook as she had told me the horrible news, her horse, Chance, had died of unknown causes. 'But Chels, I just checked him yesterday, he was fine' I was confused... many out of place things had happened today, and I cant explain them. I told Chelsea to meet me at the Ranch where us, along with 5 other girls worked.5
Before I left, I checked the clock it was seven fifty five. Enough time to check the ranch, and get to the park on time. I knew I was forgetting something and realized that Scooter wasn’t back yet. I called to him and hoped he heard me to stay near the park, or wait for me at home. Yea, as weird as it sounds, he listens. I went inside to get ready. I redid my makeup, the traditional heavy, black eyeliner and some lip gloss, after that, I took my red and black hair out of the ponytail I put it in this morning. It was surprisingly still straight. I was almost ready. I had to get my bag from my room; I changed my away message when I noticed another orange blink. It was again from Rob, it told me to bring Scooter, Damn, I hope that cat listened. I looked at my cell phone, it was eight office I told myself I had 45 minutes to help Chelsea with chance and get to the park five minutes early, Rob is always early. 6
I got to my neighbors house and noticed he was getting into his car, 'HEY! Jay, are you going towards town?'7
'Yea, get in Nicci!!' he called back over his loud pipes.8
'Thanks Jay, hey, do you remember that Rob kid that was my best friend in middle school??' 9
He looked at me as if I was so ignorant to ask about him. 'Yea, of course, who wouldn’t? And why?'10
'Well, I got an IM from him today and it was a little unexpected... it kind of confused me' I replied a little unsure of what I was saying, 'why do you sound so, hmm, I don’t know, over protective?'11
He again looked at me with parental intentions 'because, remember last time you talked to him, he hurt you, and you wouldn’t talk to anyone but your cat' he sighed heavily 'I don’t want to see that again'12
'Well, it won’t happen again, im not a 10 year old' I was pulling the bullshit I always pull when I don’t want anyone to know too much. 'Oh, stop here, thanks for the ride!!!'13
'No problem,' he hesitated 'and, Niece, don’t hurt yourself again' he then rode off to wherever he was going14
I walked into the barn that previously housed him and ran to Chelsea who had the door of his stall open and his head in her lap. She had tears down her face and had apparently been working at Farmstead, another one of her barns. “Chelsea, I can’t believe it. I-I-I’m so confused.”15
“Its OK, I sort of knew it was coming. He was acting strangely anyway. He…”16
I cut her off17
“Chelsea, I checked him yesterday, and he was fine… there was nothing wrong with him” 18
“Yes there was, he was what? 16? And he had colliched a few days ago”19
“But that shouldn’t have anything to do with him today, he recovered.”20
“I don’t know… but lets get him over to the field for The Truck”21
The Truck was the name we gave to the truck that had come to the ranch to pick up the horses that had passed on. I hated to say those words like that, and I wanted to burry him in the field like I wanted with the other horses that had died, but it was simply illegal. Chelsea and I went into the office and told Nancy we were ready to bring him to the field. She told us to get a tarp and move him onto there and bring him to the concrete and wait for Jerry. We did and the whole time being careful not to hurt the delicate body. Jerry came and I said my last goodbye, told my broken friend I would call her when I got home and went to tell Nancy I would be in whenever I could. As I was leaving, Chelsea told me to be careful, and I snapped back at her with typical words. After realizing what I had done, I apologized and hugged her again, and then I was off.22
I walked to the park and sat in the bench Rob and I usually sat in when we would meet there. Scooter came waltzing over and jumped onto my lap “Pooky! Where have you been Mister? I hope you’re alright”23
I heard an all to familiar voice “he was fine Roara, he was with me the whole time” Rob looked at his watch “8:54, you’re early, as always” I didn’t like the tone in his voice, but I played along. I moved over to one side of the bench and Rob sat right next to me, as if there were two other people on the bench. “Scooter, go home” Rob said kindly. I gave him a look24
“Rob, what is it that you want?” I had an eerie feeling about this whole meeting25
“You my dear” he looked at me as if trying to charm me. I guess it was working because I couldn’t take my eyes off of his. He put his arm around me and hugged me closer. God was it good to be in his strong arms again.26
“Rob, Why Am I here? You know you could’ve come over and we could’ve talked at my house” I buried my head in his chest.27
“Roar, I wanted to meet you here because this place has so much meaning. Do you understand?” I looked into his eyes and he smiled. This was where he had first asked me out, where we had both had our first kiss and where we did anything our parents wouldn’t approve of. 28
I thought about all those times, I was even sure I was forgetting some. “Yes,” I answered and he started to explain why he wanted me here, and why he wanted me to bring a sweatshirt.29
30
Author notes
this is a twisted story of an encripted mind. the people are all real. Except Rob. most of the settings are real except the park. this is just a love story i made up on the way back from the hospital one night.
the main character, Niccioara (pronounced Niece-e-roar-uh) is an older me and everyone else is also older.
tell me what you think. this is my first ATTEMPT at writing a story. so lemme know how it turns out.
thanks guys
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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A few spelling errors,but nothing major...
You have my total and undivided attention in this one! -
Good start.
This was a good read, lots of detail. My only critisizm would be that using the phrase, "Goth." It's so impersonal. Try replacing it with something like, "Dark," or, "Depressed" or something like that. Nice work, Bexa!beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 4, dialog: 1, characters: 5.
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dont worry Benji, the other chapters will be longer, really! lol
bexa -
thanks meg!
bexa -
you did briliant although it made me want to read more but it ended so quickly!
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omg becca, i love it! it has a awesome start. i can't wait to read more. keep writing!
<3 always,
megan -
thank you...
bexa -
thank you. i did intend to fill them in in the second chapter. thanks tho
=bexa -
sweeT
Awww sweeT story and so sad bout da horse :0(
Luv Lou x -
well it was really intersting, full of emotions thoughthe characters were a bit vague but that's not a problem cause you can always fill them in later. but i do want to know what happens. This is really intersting.
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