today is my 16th birthday. i have all my powers mastered up to level 100 on the basics level. today I'm packing cause tomorrow i leave for my faerie family. they are a wonderful family. I'll be living with them for a couple of years. they have a beautiful house. I've only seen it a few of times. it's huge. it's a 3 story house with a basement.it's much like a castle, sort of old and lots of hidden secrets in it. one the top floor there are 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. one bedroom is a large library and the other 2 rooms are my room and jade's room.on the second floor there are 2 master bedrooms and a full bathroom. this is the floor on which jade's parents and the spare room is.the first floor has a living room, dining room and a huge kitchen. and off ona side hallway is jade's parent's offices.the basement is a very large room. it has a pool table and a huge screen tv with surround sound and a big comfy couch. it also has a bar, mini kitchen for snacks and drinks, and a small bathroom. the house sits on 3 acres of land. the outside of the house has a wrap around porch. on the porch is an outdoor lighted jacuzzi. the house is in the woods so it's quiet and peaceful.it has a gazebo a little ways from the house. there's a small creek near the gazebo and behind the house is an old brick wall that's half crumbled. it's just amazing, i can't wait till tomorrow!1
Author notes
tell me watcha think i need to improve so honestly wat do u think??
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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thanks i didnt add alot more description cause i thought there was already to much but i keep revising it so ill change that next time i make a rewrite
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you are following the journal enrty tone well, always exciment and looking forward to the future, on thing I am curious about is the passing time when she aquired the last amout of her power, reaching her potential. Also where are the dragons kept? I liek how you also make the family appear ass "normal" despite their real nature. Very well done, could use some more description, but other than that, it is intreguing
good work! I look forward to more
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Boy, I'm jealous of the family that lives here. This is like my dream house! So lucky!
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its awesome!
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great job sis!
much luv,
aby -
Glad that I could be a help to your improvement...by the way my old username use to be "truth" cause that what I do...
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ya i cant figure out title names yet and the reason its describing only the house her is cause the next chapter she moves so i wanted them seperated and ya and i cant figure out the books names yet as well as her name eithe rif u havent noticed and im soo soo soo glad u like it cause not many tell me wat they think of it and i really wanna no so i can improve it and stuff
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Well honetly since you ask I would say that you need to have titles for your chapters it just makes it more characterlize in your fantasy...and that you should of express a little more in your story instead of the house but ohter then that I like it...I never read anything quite like this before...much love Raneika
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I want to live there too; it sounds fantastic!!! Can you put me in your suitcase?? You know, use your magic and shrink me, pleeeease???
You've used lots of visuals to make the new home sound very appealing, great job!
and love, Sandi
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well written
This is very good. I love your descriptions. I see now that you haven't thought of a name for your fairy yet. I'm looking forward to finding out what you decide to name her. Well done.
Krista -
the faerie doesnt have a name yet im still working on it i cant decide wat to name her thanks for commenting and im still working on chapter 3
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I like the gazebo and the jacuzzi. Wow I hope this is real. I can't wait to read the next chapter! I love the images you painted through your words. By the way, what is the name of this fairy? I hope she will be happy with her faerie family. This is absolutely gorgeous my dear and I hope you will continue writing.
Hugs, Eris
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