The Shade: History

The Shade1

By
Lissa M. Howe
2

Introduction3

We were nothing more than well trained dogs.  If they said to lick their boots, we licked their boots. Some of us resisted, others were smart and did what we were told, but some stood no chance. Sometimes it is really scary to watch the obedience, how they did everything on command, without question, or resistance. I don't know what goes through the mind of a broken slave, perhaps they think there is no other way, that this is how things are meant to be. I never plan to find out. I managed to stay out of The Shade most of my life, I was born there and taken out when I was young, but the power you have there is alluring and once you go there you never want to leave. 4

At the beginning of time about 12,000 BC Atlantis was the center of the world. Though humans only hear tales of its supreme technologies, they don't know half of what was really there. In The Shade it is common knowledge, our history. It is taught to our children and is one of the first things they learn in history. Atlantis was the slave center of the world, if you wanted a particular breed or if you wanted a slave broken, you went to Atlantis traded and haggled for services. Regardless of what our history says, Atlantis was real, and it was around long before civilization was first recorded. 5

Though the Demons first vanished from the earth with Atlantis, they will always be the origin of our powers and no one forgets that. They were our gods our masters. The Shade races picked up the trade because it was all anyone knew when Atlantis fell and who does not desire power, wealth, a solid following, and unquestioned obedience. At one point The Shade was the world, humans were almost always slaves and daemons were their favored. They had land money, respect, and they run The Shade today. They run the trade with the rest of the free races. The Vampires, gargoyles, witches, shifters and they fey all were the Demons favorite creations and rule over The Shades now. The rest of us, the Mystics, Angels, Nephilim, Vampires, Dreamwalkers, and of course Humans. 6

Training a slave is a harsh job and life altering for the one who must go though it. Some are willing but most are kidnapped or sentenced to the life of a slave. Few people are able to keep their humanity after being broken. Those that are able to are quickly disposed of. While being trained a spirit is broken but the mind needs to stay in tact, few trainers can do this. And so we have slaves that are little more than trained dogs and those that are broken. Nothing really matters if the slave is loyal without question. 7

My journey began when I walked through the boarders of The Fix, into the world of slavery and Daemons. My life was forever changed by the way my master began my training. 8


(Story In Process.  I will keep adding chapters.)

Author notes

I will add chapters. They will not be called Chapter one, two, three, etc but I will put 1, 2, 3, up with the title for your benefit. Please leave a review! PLEASE LEAVE CRITICAL REVIEWS! I am not perfect and would love the assistance. At the same time don't bash it or flame me, I don't like that.

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • The rest of us, the Mystics, Angels, Nephilim, Vampires, Dreamwalkers, and of course Humans.

    That little bit was confusing, you started with naming them, saying the rest of us, but never quite finished what you were saying, unless it was ment to be that way.

    Anyways, this sounds really good, I may contiune, I don;t knoiw about time, but It has me interested. GL!

    Love
    Karbear.


  • killerkb
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    A great introduction- makes me want to continue reading. It seems to be truly original concept. Excellent narrative and descriptions. The only thing I noticed were a few sentences that seem to run on, but otherwise well done- hope to see more of this soon.


  • TheCSIgurl
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    Well done! this piece sets the tone for an interesting story to come. The work flowed well, and the main character has been well introduced; we can relate personally to him.

    Grammar-wise:

    I noticed that you have quite a few pronouns which have no antecedants. For instance, in the phrase,"If they said to lick their boots," the pronoun "they" does not lead back to anything. Who is "they"?!! I get where you are trying to go with this; I understand that you are trying to be a little ambiguous (right?), but grammatically, this needs to be changed. Plus, watch your comma splices (joining two individual sentences just by sticking a comma in between them). El wrongo!
    But, overall, this chapter was very good; I enjoyed reading it, and my interest grew as I neared the end. Well concluded.

  • cool

    how come you spelt it (daemons) demons as well? are they 2 different things? Whats a dreamwalker? Other than that, AWESOME!!! I can't wait to read the next chapter! I felt really sorry for the slaves.

    beginning: 5, language: 2, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.

  • COOL!!

  • Nice writing

    It was interesting, really well written and detailed.
    You explain well the basis for the rest of the story, I am wishing to read the rest.
    If you play correctly with all the details, characters and stuff, it may be a great story, play with the description of emotions, places and if you need to add more information, do it.
    When you say : " The Vampires, gargoyles, witches, shifters and they fey all were the Demons favorite creations and rule over The Shades now. The rest of us, the Mystics, Angels, Nephilim, Vampires, Dreamwalkers, and of course Humans." you mention "vampires" two times, just noticing. =)
    The plot is fantastic, interesting and original.
    Keep the great work! =D


    • aroguespirit
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      I will have to look at my notes on the story but I believe I meant to say Vampyre on one of them. I don't remember if I vetoed that or not. Thank you for the review..


  • BrumDubai
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    I really like the sound of this whole concept that you're introducing. It does remind me a bit of the Northern Lights series by Philip Paulman, but I think that's just because of the mention of daemons so nothing to worry about :]
    The only complaint I have is that a few of the sentences seem a bit confusing and difficult to understand.
    I'll be looking out for the next ones

    • aroguespirit
      July 13
      Edit | Reply

      Unedited

      The piece is totally unedited. I am trying a new approach to just getting things out on paper...so to speak. I use the term Daemon to show the difference between Demons and their created. Daemon is not an english word but it still means demon. It is not a word Paulman made up. Thank you.


      • BrumDubai
        July 14
        Edit | Reply
        Cool. I'll look out for the rest of it :]


        • aroguespirit
          July 20
          Edit | Reply

          Changes

          I may also rewrite it in third omn. I just don't think first is my thing.


          • BrumDubai
            July 21
            Edit | Reply
            Sorry, what's "third omn."?? Is it the same as "third person"??

            • aroguespirit
              July 22
              Edit | Reply
              Third person is from the outside like normal but from one persons view. 3rd Omniscient is all knowing. It shows what all the main characters are feeling rather than a single observation from the one character. (I hope I explained that correctly.)


  • Yereshkigal
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    I have read two pieces by you thus far, and this is definitely my favourite. I don't know how to put into words why this one is my favourite. I think for starters there was a lot of emotion in something that makes a great introduction to a story and have me wanting to read more. It grabbed me, pulled me in. It gave me history and background. I didn't feel overwhelmed, there was not too much to follow and at the same time it leads to so much more. I didn't understand the ending when you say 'by the way'. But it was beautifully written.

    • aroguespirit
      July 13
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for your review. I will look into the ending and see if I can clarify what ever it was I am trying to say.

  • :P

    So far so good, interesting topic, keep writing

    • aroguespirit
      July 13
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Still a work in progress but it is moving along. Eventually I will compile everything from the story and reread it.


  • aroguespirit
    June 30
    Edit | Reply

    REVIEW!!!!!

    Please Review my work if you read it. It does not take long to do it!

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