The Kidnapper

The two girls stood under the small tree in the field of their school. It was P.E time, and their class had to run the mile, but the two girls had a doctor’s note and didn’t have to run that day. There was the tall, blonde girl, the one who was as flat as a board of wood. There was the black haired girl, the one who was curvy all around. They were busy talking about the boys who running passed them, and sometimes they talked about the girls who passed by. One girl was too skinny. The other girl too pale. The other girl too dark. The other one too ugly. The other one too snobby. One girl was too tall. The other boy too short. The other boy too snotty. The other boy too smart. The other boy not stupid enough.1

“Only the stupid boys are easier to take control over.” The blonde girl said, flipping her hair and rolling her eyes. Her pudgy friend nodded in agreement. They both batted their eyelashes and put their hands on their hips. Then, it happened. A boy around sixteen years old, which wasn’t ordinary in a middle school, walked up to them. His short black hair covering his eyes and a sneaky grin on his face.2

“Make ONE sound and I’ll slit your neck open.” The boy said. The pudgy girl rolled her eyes and swung her hips. The boy frowned with annoyance. “I can’t even find your neck.” He said. Both girls gasped at the boy’s rude remark. 3

“You’re mean!” the blonde girl said, crossing her arms across her chest. 4

“Shut up and come with me if you want to live!” the boy said in even more annoyance. The blonde girl’s eyes lit up when she heard the famous line.5

“O-M-G! I heard that line from somewhere! I just don’t know where!” she said looking up at the sky for the answer. 6

“O-M-G I think I heard that too!” the pudgy girl said. 7

“It’s from Terminator Salvation! Now I’m serious! I’m going to murder you two if you don’t follow me!” the boy answered, throwing his arms up in the air.8

“Wait! I got the movie on the tip of my tongue!” the blonde girl said. The pudgy girl pointed at the blonde girl’s tongue in disgust. 9

“O-M-G! You also have a spider on the tip of your tongue!” the pudgy girl said. The blonde girl began to flap her arms and shriek. The pudgy girl copied. The boy sighed and checked his watch.10

“You have got to be kidding me!” he said impatiently and looked up at the bouncing blonde. He watched the spider crawl deeper into the girl’s mouth and make its way down her throat. The girl screamed and began to cough; the spider flew out but used its web to carry itself back onto the tip of her tongue once more. The girl screamed again, sticking out her tongue. The boy used his fast reflexes to grab a branch from the ground and smack the girl’s mouth, squishing the spider. 11

“Now you have a squished spider AND dirt on your tongue!” the pudgy girl said. The blonde girl screamed. The boy grinned proudly.12

“You’re welcome.” He said. The girl began to gag and wipe off her tongue, feeling her whole body cringe up. “Now I’m warning you two! If you don’t listen to my orders I will murder you! I am kidnapped you!” the boy said.13

“I think the spider laid eggs in my mouth!” the blonde girl said. The boy slapped his forehead and groaned.14

“You two gotta be the most stupid girls on this planet!” he said aloud to himself, wishing he had found other girls to kidnap. The two girls looked up angrily at him.15

“Oh no you didn’t girl-friend.” The pudgy girl said moving her head side to side, looking like a demented snake about to strike. “You just insulted the female pollution!” she said.16

“Don’t you mean Population?” the boy asked. The pudgy girl ignored him, swinging her hips side to side again. The boy cringles his nose in disgust. He soon began to clear his throat, getting the taste of hopelessness out of his mouth. 17

“You are gonna get it now!” the pudgy girl said. 18

“I bet you don’t even know what the square root of pi is.” The boy said with a sneer. The girl grinned.19

“I don’t need to! Because pies are ROUND not square! If you wanted the square root of a pie you have to say ‘Square Root of a McDonald’s pie’ but you didn’t! So you are the stupid one here!” the girl said. The boy sighed dumbfounded of the girl’s stupidity. 20

“I think he means pi. You know, the thingy we learned in algebra a few years back.” the blonde girl said. The pudgy girl looked back at her friend with a confident look.21

“I’m pretty sure I would remember if we learned about pie, Mariah.” The pudgy girl said. 22

“God just shoot me.” the boy muttered to himself.23

“What the Crepes is going on?!” a tall, brown-haired girl asked walking up to them all. Her hair was sweaty from running the mile in less than ten minutes, her breathes were still short and quick, trying to catch her breath. 24

“OH GREAT! Another girl to “prove” the “intelligence” of girls worldwide." the boy exclaimed sarcastically. “Why doesn’t God just shoot me?!” the boy asked aloud. The girl grinned.25

“By your sarcasm I have a feeling you got to know Mariah and Freya, am I right?” the girl asked crossing her arms across her chest. The boy groaned unhappily. “You’re a bit too old for middle school, aren’t you? I know most boys are stupid but this is just sad.” The girl continued.26

“Shut up! I am going to kidnap all of you! Now if you don’t listen to me I am going to…I am going to…do something horrible!” the boy said. The new girl stood tall and confident as the other two girls stood there clueless. The boy grinned. “Like…shave your hair off and…take all your makeup!” the boy said. The two girls gasped.27

“Oh God. Just shoot me!” the new girl said. She quickly snapped her head back to the boy. “By the way, before I forget, the Square Root of pi is 1.772004514669350401991125097536.” the girl said.28

“You die first.” the boy said. The other two girls were trying to get their heads back to normal from spinning from all the numbers. There was a long silence before the pudgy girl’s jaw dropped.29

“O-M-G I just noticed that the Square Stem of pie has the number 69!” she said.30

“Square Root! NOT Square Stem!” the boy exclaimed impatiently. There was another long silence. The boy looked over at the new girl. “After I kill you guys I’m going to commit suicide.” The boy announced.31

“Wise choice.” The new girl said. 32

“Alright! I’m serious now! I am going to kidnap you!” the boy yelled.33

“Hey girls.” A boy said passing them. The two girls waved at him happily.34

“Hey Jack!” they said. The new girl sighed with a roll of her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently. The black-haired boy watched the boy pass by, and then looked over at the two girls.35

“What and who the hell was that?!” he asked.36

“That is Jack! He’s the cutest boy in the whole eighth grade!” the blonde girl said. The boy threw his arms up in the air with his eyes wide open and an unhappy look on his face.37

“What does he have that I don’t?!” he asked the girls. The new girl gave the boy a strange look, wondering what happened to the non-scary but threatening boy a few moments earlier. The pudgy girl grinned at Jack running off.38

“Look at that butt!” she said.39

“I have a butt!” the boy said. “Ugh! What am I doing?!” he asked himself, running his fingers through his hair worriedly. He gave himself a moment to recap on what he was previously going to do. After a moment, after finding himself again, he looked back up at the girls. “I will have to force you with me myself! Giving you orders doesn’t do much!” the boy said. The new girl stood in front of the boy, her fingers clutching the necklace around her neck. The necklace was nothing but mere wire with pieces of wooden charms on them. She clutched the wood, feeling a heat travel throughout her body, and before the boy’s very eyes she transformed into another suit and half her face, the lower half, covered by a black handkerchief.40

“You must go through me first! Frenchman!” the new girl said. 41

“Oh Great! A girl who turns into a Super “Man”! When will God decide to put me out of my misery?!” the boy said.42

“Screw you!” the new girl said.43

“Will you?” the boy asked.44

“Ewwwwww!!!” the other two girls said. The new girl, who was a superhero, was quiet. Her necklace began to grow hot.45

“Get ready to be blown to hell!” Frenchman said. The boy put both arms up in the air.46

“You don’t need to do a thing! I’m leaving this crazy place! I’m going back to Canada, eh.” He said and left up the hill. There was a long silence between the girls. Frenchman turned into her normal self and looked back at the girls. There was a very long silence until the pudgy girl said:47

“I’m glad you got to meet my cousin, eh?” 48