DESCRIPTION / PERSONALITY1
My name is Allura.2
I'm a tall dark 15 year old faerie who stands at 5'3. i wear a long black dress it's torn at the bottom but suits my personality and it matches my long, wavy, shoulder length black hair. i have large coal black wings with silver tips. i have light lavender eyes that sparkle like the stars and they're mesmerizing. i can take a joke and be sarcastic. I'm not much of a people person. i can feisty, daring and adventurous at times. i like to take control. got a picture? Good. Now my story~~3
~CHAPTER 1~ 4
I was abandoned at birth and live with humans. at age 11 i started floating at night and discovered my magical powers. after  receiving secret letters indicating i was accepted as a pupil to be taught magic, i snuck out daily. i was schooled by an all knowing famous tutor named lidia, who to throw my human guardians off pretended to teach me piano. lidia studied at a wonderful school. shes a light faerie with a pink dress. she has yellow wings with pinks tips she has very long blonde hair. she's very intelligent. it was amazing to study with her. my powers are mastered up to level 86 out of a possible 100. i have a few more lessons with lidia before i can go live with another family..... a faerie family. 5
The family is just the parents and a child. the father, brutus, is a red faerie with an outfit of different shaded reds. his wings are red with yellow orange-ish tips. his eyes change between red orange and yellow depending on his mood. the mother , opal, is a light blue ice faerie with a light blue floor length gown, blonde hair and beautiful crystal blue eyes. her wings are blue with white tips. the child is a shy girl named jade. She's fifteen. she's a green faerie with smaller black tip-ed jade wings. 6
they own 7 dragons. they are all very unique. one is a small yellow dragon with golden wings. another is a good sized purple dragon with magenta wings. there is also a pale blue one with aqua wings. and another is black with green wings. there's one that's blue with a silver underside and wings. a sixth is scarlet with golden lined wings. and finally my favorite dragon ,_____*, is a red dragon with large black and silver wings like mine. they say that the dragon has taken a  liking towards me. i shall own it when i live with them!7
i shall also have my own room and i got to pick exactly how i wanted it. it is painted red and is well furnished.they live in a magical world. it's made up of faeries and mystical creatures , such as, elves, vampires, witches, werewolves, demons, dragons, pixies, and unicorns. i can't wait to go live with them!8
Author notes
*the blank is a name and i havent figure it out yet
heres a picture of wat she sopposedly looks like my brother found this after he read my story and now i have it as a poster so heres the link to it : images.google.com/imgres?imgurlwww.elsarron.nl/images/nt-gatheringstorm.jpg&im
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I agree with Wee Beatie, the first rjournal entry you can feel the emotions, the excitement. As for the dragons name,I think dameon is a good, it is a common yet implied dark name...to me that fits the description. Not abad start to the sotry. I look forward to more
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it sounds like a journel entry i am loving it
give me more i am hugry for more. -
Wow- not a bad start to a story! It sounds like you love to RP in RPGs! I think if you went into a chatroom and typed some of this stuff in there, people would be happy to play along.
I'm interested- I'll start on part 2. -
My goodness, such beautiful fairies and dragons, with the most brilliant and beguiling colors. Now about your story, you seem to have quite a few problems with punctuation. It's difficult to know when a line begins and when it ends; also, it's important to captialize the first word in a sentence. The idea for the story is a very good one with a very nice introduction from birth to the age of eleven. You can give more information about the name of the school where you was accepted as a pupil to give readers a better understanding of the story. Thank you Alone I Stand for entering my contest and take some time if you wish to fix your story and make it more suitable for reading by others. My best wishes to you in the contest.
Avril
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This is a very good start of a story
A few things that you might want to think about is using correct punctuation, like capitolizing the beginning of your sentences. And maybe breaking up the one large paragraph into three small ones, to go with the three different thought patterns.
The first ending with "A fairy family"
The second talking about the dragons and then the third starting where you talk about your room.
A great first effort! I'm looking forward to where your tale is going to lead me, I LOVE Dragons and Fairies!!
Now I'm off to read the second part
and love, Sandi
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I thought I had already read this but I guess I didn't
It's a very nice start on a first chapter. Keep up the good work...I'd take out the internet type lingo, using lowercases and such. It may take away from your words.
-Dani
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ya it will be hard but thats y im a perfectionist and thanks
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Well..."perfect" will be hard.
I'll let you know if I think of any good faerie names.
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well the faerie i donno the name yet cause i want it to b perfect so any ideas?
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This is lovely! I wouldn't mind finding out the name of the fairy at the beginning since the rest of the fairies have names, but it really is a great story.
Krista -
Hello dear! This is very cute and beautifully penned. I like the colors you chose for their wings and their gowns. You have such a wonderful talent. Lovely images come to mind when I read this. Thank you for bringing back my childhood years. Please please don't stop writing. Hugs, Eris
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