Lily - My favourite dog

I have a black Labrador called Lily. She is 6 years old. My family bought her from two men who were selling dogs in the back of a car. I felt so sorry for all the other dogs in there but my family only wanted one. My mother, sister and grandma were all looking at a fluffy dog but I was looking at Lily. We nearly got the fluffy dog but decided not to because you just couldn't leave Lily there with her cute puppy dog eyes, soft fur and perky ears. Lily was a gorgeous puppy. As soon as we took her home she was automatically comfortable in where she was now living. Lily's personality is very hyper, happy, cheerful dog willing to lick anyone. I remember when she was little Tarn my bestfriend and I were sitting on a 2 person swing and Lily jumped up and licked Tarn bruise on her knee and ever since Lily has loved Tarn as a family member aswell. If anyone new comes to see Lily she is crazy. Lily loves visitors. She jumps all over anyone who comes outside which someone don't like and get scared but Lily wouldn't even hurt a little possum which a lot of dogs would try and eat if it was in their backyards. She never bites anyone but sometimes accidentally scratches. Whenever we take her to see other dogs she has made new friends as soon as we get there. It's funny to watch Lily play with other dogs because they chase each other, then fall over, then get back up and just stare at each other and then repeat. Special things Lily can do are the commands shake, roll over, high five and I taught her one called kisses in my spare time. When Lily comes up to me and I say kisses she bows her head down and I just give her a little kiss on the top of her head. Lily loves going on walks and she walks very fast but if you see any strangers on a walk with Lily she is all over them because shes a real people dog. Most people give Lily a pat when they see her because she simply is gorgeous, cute and cuddly. She is the right weight. She loves goodo dog food and dislikes beneful. Lily also loves toast crusts which my sister normally gives her. One memory I have had with Lily was when she was really young she was inside one night because it was a storm. My family had pizza and as my mother was getting some pizza for me Lily jumped onto my lap and fell asleep. I was also younger then so I couldn't get her off of me so I put my pizza plate on her back and just ate my pizza leaning on her. A special thing Lily does is opening doors. If we just have the screen door shut Lily will open it and come inside All together I love having a dog, and even more I love having Lily. She is my favourite dog and when she goes I will miss her greatly.

A contest entry

What do you think of my story about Lily?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Tricia3 gold member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply

    A very nice story

    about a very nice dog. It sounds like she has a good home and is well loved.
    I have one suggestion for you. If you would cut this into several paragraphs, it would be so much earier to read.
    Great job.
    Trish

  • I love animals! I especially liked this piece.

    When you wrote 'If anyone new comes to see Lily she is crazy. Lily loves visitors.' I was immediately reminded of a stray who used to go crazy when she saw us. She wanted all of the attention, though, and we ended up calling her J. G. (Jealous Girl.) I loved this little piece.

    I would suggest you break this into paragraphs, though, and run it through spellcheck. If you need any assistance with editing, please tell me. I'll gladly help.

    So, the answer to your question: What do you think of my story about Lily?

    I think it's great! Good luck in the contest.


  • skye 15
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Lily seems really sweet and talented. I bet she's the dog that any family would want. A great use of humor too. You could break it into paragraphs so it would be easier to understand.


  • Asfand
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is sweet! I love pets and this really touched home with me! Great use of emotion and the gentle memories touched me!