A ‘Writers Anonymous’ Confession

Hi, my name is Onaya3 (hi, Onaya3) and the last time that I wrote was approximately 12 hours, 16 minutes and 33 seconds ago. If I don’t write, I start to shake. My heart races a million miles an hour and my breathing becomes shallow which medical professionals call hyperventilating and I may experience dizziness. Funnily enough these symptoms mirror what is also called an ‘anxiety attack’ however to me, I find it hard to differentiate the two. 1

When I’m not writing, I’m editing. When I’m not editing my work, I’m giving my feedback on somebody else’s. When I’m not writing or editing, I’m watching either the Star Trek series, The X-Files, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, Dr. Who, Northern Exposure, West Wing, Dexter, Scrubs, That 70’s Show, Monty Python, The Goodies and Red Dwarf. I’m sure there may be other shows that I’m forgetting? But I don’t want to bog you down. I’m also renown for watching the same movies over and over again, such as Underworld 1 & 2, House On Haunted Hill, The Haunting, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Under A Tuscan Sun, Only You, The Talented Mr. Ripley, The Shining, Dracula, The Mummy, 30 Days Of Night, Black Dalia… but I’m afraid I’ve failed again, haven’t I? I’m inundating you with details.2

I guess what I wanted to share with you are my passions as well as my obsessions which comes out in my writing. I like to write about science fiction, the supernatural and of course, romance. I learned to categorize my books under these headings when I began to post my work online on the Writing.Com website. When people ask what do I write about? Like an automated response, I answer; “supernatural, science fiction, romance.” 3

My first book ‘Circulate’ was about time travelers who moved through time not by machine, but by a physiological ability to morph into beings of light. So far what is known to mankind, only light can move through time. Naturally my imagination tweaked, “what if there were humans who could move through time by turning into light?” 4

Of course, with my morbid fascination of hauntings (yes I have seen a ghost) another thought went ‘bing!’ inside my mind. Ghosts can sometimes appear to be made of light and in a sense, they’re traveling through time. Their biological bodies have passed away (and usually decomposed) but humans are still seeing them years, decades and sometimes centuries later. So what if there were humans who could in a sense, turn themselves into ghosts to move through time with out dying? Hence my warped imagination when ‘bing!’ once more and spewed forth the idea of Circulators. In my imaginary world, I created humans who could do just that and of course, with a gift like this? They would group together in a secret society called The Circulate with its HQ on another planet.5

So far the books in my supernatural, sci-fi, romance series goes; Circulate, Circulating, Circulation, Progeny, Ardor & Redolence, Scent, Sororate, Small Fry, Alma, Heterogeneous and Full Circle. My books all have Circulators present, but my OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) moved from ghosts and hauntings, to visiting alien planets, ESP, reincarnation, Vampires, Werewolves, Voodoo, Human/ Animal Shape Shifters and evolving to the space time continuum. 6

I used to be a huge Vampire fan, massive in fact. When I was seven years old during ‘story time’ where the teacher let us write about whatever we want in an exercise book? Years later, I found out she pulled my Mum and Dad aside one particular Parent & Teacher night to say she thought I showed great potential, it’s just that she was concerned I always wrote about Vampires. In the classroom my teacher asked me to try writing about another subject other than the Undead? So I wrote a story about a trip to the Zoo…which of course the supernatural quality about this Zoo was after dark its animals turned into Vampires. 7

Since then I’ve seen many a Vampire ‘flick’ or TV show. I loved Francis Ford Coppola’s ‘Dracula’, as well as ‘True Blood’, ‘Bloodties’, ‘Kindred: The Embraced’ (from the role play game ‘Vampire: The Masquerade’), ‘Forever Knight’, ‘Fright Night’, ‘Blade 1, 2 & 3’, ‘Van Helsing’, ‘From Dusk To Dawn’, ‘Lost Boys’ etc etc etc…8

I think it was December 2007 that I read Stephanie Meyer’s book ‘Twilight’. I was surfing the net, looking up Robert Pattinson pictures as I picture my character Jarrod Worthall with the actor’s physical resemblance (whenever I get a crush on an actor they become a romantic interest in one of my books – LoL). It was on one of the actor’s fansites I learned he had been hired to play the Vampiric role of Edward Cullen in the ‘Twilight’ movie. I checked out Stephanie Meyer’s website who cleverly posted the first chapter of her book online and after reading it? The very next day I bought the book. Two weeks later I bought the second book. Three weeks later I bought the third. 9

Then something strange happened… well, alright something even stranger happened. I found myself crying out, “ditch the Vamp and go for the Werewolf!” I did a complete turnaround from being a Vampire’s ‘cheerleader’ to cheering for the Werewolves instead. Why go for something cold and dead, when something hot and panting would make a much better love interest?10

After one too many glasses of red wine (and cigarettes) and looking over my paranormal DVD collection, my mind went ‘bing!’ once more. Rather than just the Werewolves depicted in the Stephanie Meyer universe of big, shaggy wolves; what about the Werewolves depicted in ‘Underworld’, or ‘The X-Files’, ‘Howling’, or in ‘Supernatural’? What if they were ALL correct? What if there were simply different breeds of Werewolves in the world? Hell, humans differ culturally and physically depending on the geography so why wouldn’t a supernatural creature do too? 11

My character Elisha Baker who’s a Circulator, has always had a fascination for the supernatural and she began SSIT – Supernatural, Scientific, Investigative Team – with her friend Xavier Bell when the two met at Cambridge University. They were laughed out of the Student Union office when they needed backing but they persevered. It was thanks to their own OCD’s that they investigated ghost lights surrounding stone circles, haunted houses, reincarnation, ESP and then after looking into Vampires, they stumbled upon Werewolves. 12

Elisha and Xavier by no means view their work through the same pair of glasses. To quote Xavier when editing one of his partner’s reports on an investigation; 13

“You are not critiquing ‘Wuthering Heights’ here. We are not doing a literary examination of when Kathy’s ghost appears at the window!” Xavier shook his head. “Look, take out, ‘extraordinary’, and put in ‘unusual’.” 14

“But that sounds so… boring. It doesn’t fully describe what it was like to see those phantom lights!” I argued back.15

“Alright. We’ll keep ‘extraordinary’. But ‘fantastical’ has to go.” He put his foot down.16

“But…” I started. 17

“There is no way in hell can we lodge a legitimate scientific report to our financial backers who happen to be one of the most reknown scientific companies in the world, with the word, ‘fantastical’ in it!” Xavier exclaimed.18

“Yes we can!” 19

“No we can’t!” 20

“Look, how about I delete the whole smegging thing and then you write it up!” I snapped.21

Xavier took my laptop off me and read through it thoroughly. Then he paused, and looked up with this incredulous look on his face. He looked at me as if I were mad. 22

“‘We felt truly privileged on this night to witness such a spectacular event’?” 23

“What’s wrong with that?!” I said exasperated. 24

“We’re scientists! Not sports commentators on World Cup Soccer!” he cracked up laughing. 25

Being a Trekkie, I bought the companion books to the TV series such as ‘The Star Trek Chronology’ as well as ‘The Star Trek Encyclopedia’. It was along these lines that I began to write up Elisha and Xavier’s SSIT Reports that they did on their investigations into Vampirism, Werewolves and other topics. As my series of books can be mushy with many love scenes, I wanted the mock scientific reports to be a contrast. Plus, I’ve always enjoyed the notion of trying to explain the unexplainable. 26

Talking about contrasts, something ironic happened eighteen months back. I was lucky enough to meet my long-time pen pal from Writing.Com, Maryann when she came to Sydney with her husband. It was wonderful meeting her in real life and I took her walking through the city in tour guide mode. We walked down to The Rocks, one of Sydney’s oldest parts (where Ruth Park set the book, ‘Playing Beatie Bow’), lunch at Circular Quay by the Opera House, through the Botanic Gardens, past the NSW Art Gallery, Old Mint, Old Parliament House and finished by meandering through Hyde Park. In the Botanic Gardens, I took a photo of a garden display by the pyramid greenhouse which was spelt out by plants;27

‘SEX + DEATH’.28

I thought how apt, as these are essentially the subjects of my writing! I thought this summed up Werewolves perfectly and in particular, Declan Sabre. Allow me to introduce you to somebody who is turning into one of my most popular characters.29

Declan was at one stage, the last of the European Werewolves. Why was he the last of his kind? Aside from European Vampires hunting his breed almost to extinction for their strength and regenerative capabilities; Declan didn’t like it when his kind kidnapped his missus. Werewolves of any breed can get territorial and use their claws and teeth to do the talking, so you can imagine what their reaction would be to abducting one’s spouse. Bianca Sabre nee Wisetail is the first female Lokoti Werewolf; in a world where female Werewolves are as rare as a winning ticket to visit Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. She is a contrast, both the beginning and the end as she is also called ‘The Last Circulator’. 30

These characters are introduced towards the end of ‘Ardor & Redolence’ and are the main attraction in my books ‘Scent’, ‘Sororate’ and ‘Small Fry’. Declan worships the ground B walks upon, however my Werewolves don’t idolize their love interests by placing them on a pedestal but instead they pounce. These Werewolves and Vampires are members of the Shape Shifter family since they change from human to other, when hunting with their ever-present bloodlust; to either feast on fresh flesh or drink fresh blood. As some Werewolves and Vampires have been trained to hunt animal to spare human life, others haven’t. It’s a constant battle not to become murderers and sex is also a result of their continual hunger. 31

I’ve posted ‘Scent’ on Writing.Com (www.writing.com/authors/onaya3) as well as on my Storywrite page however with ‘Sororate’ as well as ‘Small Fry’? I’ve decided to just post them on Storywrite (www.storywrite.com/onaya3) with the reason being the audience. 32

When my first book ‘Circulate’ was published in November 2005, I gave a copy to my Dad. It was a year later he confessed he tried to read it, but he wasn’t interested in the subject matter as he said, “I don’t like Buffy either.” Instead of being hurt, I took this as a massive compliment. For one, I didn’t know my elderly father had even heard of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ and two, he was inadvertently grouping my book with one of my favourite TV shows? Woo hoo! 33

With this said, I just get more reads on Storywrite with the subject of Werewolves. The official categories I post my chapters under are; Adult, Drama, First Person, Romance, Science fiction, Supernatural, Werewolves. However I still like to use my Writing.Com page to experiment with the lay out of chapters, or the series of books, or where to put or how to use my drafts. Everything I post online is a draft until the day it’s bound within a cover and sitting on a shelf. 34

Just as our favourite critter in the movie ‘Ice Age’ gets excited over acorns, I get just as excited over the feedback I receive. When I find out that I’ve hooked a new reader? I get so excited that I don’t look where I’m going and trip over a flat surface or even walk into a wall. The adventures of the deliriously happy but slightly insane…but even insanity appreciates company. 35

I’m constantly playing with future scenes I can see my characters in. I’m not 100% sure how or when it will become a book/s. The way that I write is a collection of random scenes and when they reach a certain number? I then collate them into order. But I swear, in Ancient Greece when they postulated that our creativity comes from the Muses? I think they must have got confused with schizophrenia. My characters’ constant chatter keeps me from feeling bored however they also can be too distracting. I get laughed at by my friends all the time as they sing, “earth to Onaya3, come in Onaya3.” I experience writers block when just like in ‘Get Smart’ the cone of silence comes down and I can’t hear my characters anymore. 36

Please excuse me for my five pages of rambling. Or should I say, “forgive me Father, for I have sinned…” I can’t write a book in linear order and I feel like I have to explain myself or even confess why. When a person asks; “how’s your writing going?” “Really well, thanks.” “Have you finished book two yet?” “Er…” “What about book three?” “Um…” “Book four?” “No, but I had this idea on the train home last night and I just had to write it…” It’s usually about this time the person rolls their eyes and shakes their head in a manner that says, ‘hopeless’.