Dear Mr. Smith, 1
In recent weeks it has come to our attention that you have been displaying certain behaviors not fit to the standards of this noble corporation. Despite the laughs it may elicit, we do not consider it acceptable to sneak tampons into the bags of children's halloween candy. Furthermore, it is not widely appreciated when you exchange the bags of chips in the carts of our more horizontally challenged customers for lean cuisine meals. We are also not pleased with the fourteen sexual harassment charges that have been filed against an employee fitting your description. Therefore, we regret to inform you that your services are no longer necessary to the company.2
Best regards,3
The Executive Board of Supamarket™4
P.S. The terms "regret" and "best" are used loosely here.
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