I Promise

I watch you. I watch you, sometimes from afar, sometimes from right beside you. I watch you, lost and sometimes hopeless. I see you on your knees, searching for something lost in the leaves and underground of the forest of your soul. You’re crying, though I don’t know if you realize it. Your tangled, mattered hair falls down, covering your face. The blonde is tainted with dirt. The wetness of your tears causes it to stick to your face. Your knees are scraped and your clothes are stained. But I’m not sure if you notice that. If you do, you do not care. Your hands are so filthy and covered in dirt. Under your nails is even more soil. 1

Your face is like that of an angel, with wounds that cry out to be healed. Perhaps, that is what you are looking for...the Healer. Maybe you’re looking for a home, a safe place and someone’s comforting arms to hold. Maybe you’re looking for acceptance and the beauty of everlasting love. Every now and then, your eyes spark up. You think you’ve found what you’re looking for. But I know you haven’t, not just yet. You may even find something that satisfies the hunger in your soul for just a little while, but then it will fade away into nothingness, and you will go on searching.2

It hurts to watch you, maybe because something within me knows I’ll be down there, too, in my own forest. It hurts to watch you; I would do anything to spare you this trial. With all my heart, I yearn to get down on my knees and help you look. Or to at least point in the direction where this object has fallen. And many times I’ve tried. But I think, I think...I know that no matter what, no matter how many times I point and get down on my knees, in the end, you will have to do it yourself. 3

I can mutter comforting words; I can whisper lullabies of happiness. But no matter what, I cannot make the pain any less. I cannot help you. This is your task. All I can do is watch. And be here for when you need me. So that is what I do. I wait and watch. I watch and wait.  4

I watch here, on the sidelines, loving you, wishing you the best, and blessing you with all my heart. And I hope, no, I know, that someday, you’ll find what you’re looking for, and when you do, I’ll still be here. I’ll be here to the end. And I’ll throw you the biggest, best party you’ve seen. I promise.5